The El Formerly Known as Miyoshi

It's Been A While...

2011-02-22T00:02:00.002Z

It's been literally years since I last blogged about my little life. I am an avid blog reader, though, and have lately been feeling the need to get back into blogging.

So here we go, trying this blog thang again, hoping that you find some inspiration or at least some positivity in here, and hoping also that by writing again, I may also inspire myself! Now, I'm off to play around with blogger, see you in a while when I am ready to share something!

Entertaining

2007-07-15T15:01:00.000+01:00

Our summer continues to be miserable. My skin is not brown. It does not glow. What gives?

Anyhoo, I decided the other week that it was high time I had some people round for chat and grub. I LOVE cooking for people, I enjoy using them as Guinea pigs, and they seem to enjoy being cooked for. With Rach, I decided to put my Christmas soup cook book into action, and made a really yummy chilli crab and butternut squash soup. Pretty good if I do say so myself. With Katy, just last night, I was presented with more of a challenge: what DOES one cook a vegetarian wheat allergy sufferer? In the end it was a korma with prawns, green beans and more butternut squash (I love the stuff), then apricots poached in Grand Marnier on a meringue nest with whipped cream. Hee, my presentation skills leave a lot to be desired, and the korma was a little bland, but it was ok. Katy brought round a fantastic bottle of Ruggeri, and I am not enjoying the last half of it right now.

I had more culinary happiness when I met Rona and Nick for sushi a couple of Fridays ago. It was GOOD sushi! I really wish the Yo! sushi place hadn't closed down...

Tomorrow, I am very excited, as I am off to play Ultimate Frisbee on the Meadows! Whee! I've always suspected it was a game I might love, and that was confirmed during my last Japan year, when games were organised semi-regularly. I don't know anyone I am going to play with, I saw the ad on Gumtree, but I guess that's half the fun.

Speaking of Gumtree... does anyone reading have any opinion on social clubs? In the past, I always felt they were an organisation for people with below-par social skills who needed organised fun on order to meet people. Social crutches. And they always seemed to have a secondary 'dating service' theme to them, which I always found highly off-putting, and even sad and desperate. Now, after moving back to the city, it seems to have become a much more normal way of meeting people and taking part in any hobbies you have. It doesn't seem to be a last resort for social gooseberrys. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

Last week, I was pointed in the direction of a WONDERFUL music website, Pandora.com. You have to be in the US to become a full member (so I made a zip code up) but if you get in, it's a fantastic way of finding new music. I'll for sure be making some iTunes purchases based on what I have heard on that site. Currently reading the 'Tales of the City' series, and thoroughly enjoying them, even if I have started to say "Far out" to most anything. I wanted to write more, but the Ruggeri is having none of it. It is demanding I go and lie on the couch, switch on the Open, peruse the employment pages, and then possibly fall asleep until tea time. Sounds good to me!

Low Place Like Home

2007-06-17T19:18:00.000+01:00

Due to various stuffs, I haven't blogged in a good long while, so a fair bit has been going on. I guess.

1- Return to the Hood. At long last. Almost a year after my return to Scotland, I have finally made it back to big, bad Leith Walk. I am actually home. It is weird. I am not sure how I feel yet. Well, no. I am. I am relishing my space again. I am walking round naked. Bathing with the bathroom door open. Watching The Daily Show on a daily basis. Getting up at a civil hour, instead of the 5.20am madness I was enduring in Roslin. I get to shop for the stuff I want. Go to bed late, and make long distance phonecalls. However, I also get to worry about tax. The price of milk. How much electricity I'm burning. Whether I have enough clean clothes for the next 24 hours. All normal stuff, but all stuff that, to some degree, I haven't had to worry so much about in the last 3.75 years. Even in Japan, when I was living alone, none of it felt that real, there was some sort of diminished responsibility at work on my persona. It feels real here. I'm also without a housemate, the first time I've lived alone in Edinburgh. I am sometimes loving it, sometimes wishing I had someone to bounce things off at the end of the day. It's mostly good, though.

2-Tsujino-san. This old Japanese guy at school just now. He's just the best. He is no more significant an ojiisan than any of the other old guys I encountered out in Japan, except that he decided to come to Edinburgh to study English. Excited to meet with someone I knew would be impressed at my (rapidly diminishing) grasp of the Japanese language, I bounced into the student lounge last Monday morning, walked up to him, and introduced myself in my most polite Japanese. Never missing a beat, he gave me his best English introduction. "Bless", thinks me, "He wants to do it in English". The next day, I enquired, in Japanese again, how he had enjoyed himself at his host's granddaughter's third birthday party. A shocked look came across his face, and he took a couple of steps backward. "Why...?", he stammered, "How...?". Smiling, and shaking my head with the false modesty I had become used to displaying in Japan, I started to explain that I had lived there for three years, but that really, my Japanese wasn't all that great. He stopped me. No, no. He wanted to know how I had known about the birthday party, and I had to explain (in English) that his host had told me about it in a recent phone conversation. Bit of a wake up call! Not all Japanese people care that you can utter a few phrases (badly) in their native tongue. I felt suitably reprimanded, even though dear old Tsujino-san had never intended to show me up like that. It wasn't embarrasing or anything. It was actually refreshing to encounter someone Japanese who didn't give a damn that I could hold a basic conversation with them. But it was a timely reminder not to get ahead of myself. And not to pigeon-hole Japanese people.

3- Iris Murdoch: I am reading the biography of her written by her husband, John Bayley. It's the most beautiful, unsentimental love story I have ever encountered. She was not perfect. And because she knew this, and John knew this, she became perfect to him. I came across this particular passage:

"And so married life began. And the joys of solitude. No contradiction was involved. The one went perfectly with the other. To feel oneself held and cherished and accompanied, and yet to be alone. To be closely and physically entiwned, and yet feel solitude's friendly presence, as warm and undesolating as contiguity itself."

This just blows me away. Expanding it to any close relationship you care to imagine between humans, I feel like this is truly what it means to know another person absolutely, and be totally ok with not talking to, or even being with them 24/7. I have sometimes felt with some relationships (whether they are with friends, lovers or parents) that there is some sort of expectation to always talk, always know what the other is thinking, always know where they are, who they're with and what they're doing. I have a hard time giving myself over completely like that, but part of me felt like it was necessary. But really, it's not. I think what Bayley said perfectly captured the thoughts floating in my head, but which I was unable to pin down. I wonder now how many people are lucky enough to find someone with whom they feel comfortable enough to let solitude enter the relationship. I think that these days, too many people are afraid of being alone, and so they constantly push at each other to share everything, to talk constantly. When they wake up feeling alone, even though their partner is lying beside them, they take it as a bad sign. I wonder how many marriages, or friendships or whatever, would be made better by each person embracing this feeling of solitude rather than running from it. It's a difficult line of thought to unravel. And I think there's a danger of taking 'solitude' too literally here. But I like the idea of being so at one with another person that I don't feel afraid when I sense them withdrawing into themselves for a time. It's something I have felt with one or two very close friendships I've had.

4- Lack of summer. It was someting stupid like 10 degress yesterday. We are about to come across the longest day of the year, and we are still getting 10 degree days. This country sucks. No wonder the entire population is miserable.

5- Andy. I just found this guy, he works at my school. We don't see each other so much during the week, but always go out on Friday after work for a few drinks. He is an exellent conversationalist, and looks like a less-wacky version of Russel Brand. He tried to brainwash me with SNP politics last Friday there, but I was sort of tipsy by then, and was just nodding in the right places, and making noises of disagreement in others. He bakes. He drinks Bailey's. And he wears Converse trainers with second-hand suits. Sadly, I have to say goodbye to my new friend this week, as he's jetting off to Italy to be with his girlfriend over there. Friday afternoons won't be the same again!

Today I went out for a walk down to Ocean Terminal (a big mall, located right on the shore). I wandered, bought a book, and spent too much money on Marks & Spencer food. I am now stuffed full of chicken supreme, profiteroles and orange and raspeberry juice. Tomorrow is Monday. I didn't even mention the ridiculous shape my professional life is in. It's just too awful to waste time writing about it here.

Umm.... Joe are you happy now?

Triumph of the Serbian Lesbians

2007-05-13T19:06:00.000+01:00

Yes, last night it was time once again to bring out the scoresheets and leave behind normal standards of cultural acceptance as Europe errupted in a wave of bad taste: the Eurovision Song Contest 2007.

For those unitiated readers, Eurovision is gayer than Liberaci. Tackier than Anna Nicole Smith (God rest her poor soul). And more eagerly awaited in the United States of Europe than the football World Cup. Ok, maybe not, but you get the picture. Each country in Europe enters a group and song, and they perform it all in one night in a country in Europe (typically the winners of the previous year's tournament). Not having been around for it in a few years, I was psyched to head to Kirsty's last night for a Eurovision party. Well, yeah it was pretty shocking, and the members of the Dewar party were gobsmacked and indignant at Serbia winning, since we had judged them to one of the worst entries. Think a plump KD Lang, surrounded by femme (but scary) bitches, singing her broken heart to the world. Shudder. However, since I had awarded the most points to these horrors out of all guests at the party, I won me a mini bottle of champers, and a 'Bucks Fizz Greatest Hits' CD, Bucks Fizz having won Eurovision for Britain in years of yore. Really, the whole thing is a political 'scratch our back, we'll scratch yours' with bloc voting running amok. Pah!

Much further up the good taste scale is the German film 'Lives of Others' which I caught with Ms Dewar last weekend. It's about the moral dilemmas of an East German Stasi officer, assigned to spy on a couple of liberal, intellectual artists. Really great film, with a beautiful ending.

It's brass monkeys again though. The sun must have decided that it wore itself out in April, and has sulked off to another part of the world, leaving this miserable little island to bathe in drizzle and gloom.

I got wonderfully drunk at a party last Friday, and I think I may have insulted my new boss. I hope not. But if I did.... well, I shall act like I didn't.

I also had an awesome dream last night, where I was a bad-ass cop who shot a warehouse up, then drove away in Dave CC's old Honda Civic.

Currently listening to Gym Class Heroes.

スコットランドの桜

2007-04-29T16:07:00.000+01:00

I was somewhat surprised and impressed at the domestic display of cherry blossoms this spring. Of course, I've always known that Scotland has cherry trees, and that they have wonderful blossoms. But because I was sort of looking for them more this year, there appeared to be more than I previously thought, and they were every bit as impressive as their Japanese counterparts. They don't occur in the same concentrations as they do over there, and neither do people revere them as much. But I was comforted by the sight of something I have come to associate closely with Japan.

Sakura in Japan is the signifier of new beginnings, of changes, and of a time to reflect on the past. The frenetic pace of life in Edinburgh isn't really giving me much time to reflect at the moment, and I feel like I'm zooming along at an alarming rate without the chance to breathe and take it all in. My house is gradually becoming more inhabitable, I am making real ground in my thoughts on moving abroad again, and I am also having to look at my current job very closely, as I have been told it won't exist come September.

This last is worrying and exciting and annoying. I won't be made redundant, I don't think. But my job will change drastically, and I feel rather cheated. The changes taking place had their inception way before Christmas, when I interviewed for the post, and I fail to see why this was not discussed with me at the interview. Still, as I have said since day one, this is a job, not a career. I am getting experience, and making money. But I don't think I could say I love it. I love parts of it. Other parts of it I worry about enough to have them encroach on my dreams at night.

So maybe the change in job (to something I did not, and probably would not, apply for in the first place) will force my hand. Make me choose. Actually kick me to jump ship and head abroad, like I've been deliberating over for so long now.

And the incentives are there. Nicer weather. Cheaper living expenses (but probably also proportionally smaller salaries). Inexpensive property.

That is what I am interested in. I just finished reading a great book on personal finance that Nate recommended me, called 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad'. And it really got me thinking. Too much to go into here, and probably too boring for anyone reading too. But basically, I have to mind my own business. The book talks about one's job, and one's business, two entirely different entities, but not mutually exclusive either. I have a job. But I need a business too. I don't want to work to make some faceless executive rich. I want my money to work to make me rich. So now, I am doing my best to educate myself, and build up my brain so that it can think in financial terms. Ok, maybe it's boring to most of you, but I actually find it exciting. :p Anyway, one way I'd like to make my money work for me is in property. So things like the foreclosure market in NA are looking mighty attractive to me. So is the cheap land in Australia. I don't have total confidence in what I am talking about yet, but the altered perspective (ie thinking about my business instead of my job) is really having an effect on how I see my future.

Goodies purchased

2007-04-08T18:50:00.000+01:00

If you are on my Facebook, you'll see my staus right now as 'Elizabeth is wondering how she ever got by without her ghd straighteners'. And it's SO true!! My hair can get be kinkier than the gimp when I wake up in the morning, and I when I arrived in Japan last month to discover that my old straighteners had been destroyed by an unruly conveyer belt, I moaned inwardly, knowing that my entire holiday would be spent with bad hair. In an effort at damage limitation, I bought a crappy pair of Japanese straighteners, which tried their best, but my stubborn hair was having none of it. Back home, I bit the bullet and went for the brand new MK4 ghds, purchase price £100. All that for straight hair. SO worth it.

Ok, girly moment over, my other new favourite purchase of the minute is my sweet little iPod 4GB. Oh my is it cute! And it is a real mood-fixer in the morning. I seem to do my best thinking and dreaming when plugged into personal music, and after so long with a fritzy, ancient, jumpy personal CD player, I am all sorts of happy with my top-of-the-range MP3 player. Except I am prone to dancing around with it on, and need to be careful I am not caught by anyone. Not that I mind, but I do get looks. Whatever. Raspberries to your looks, Stevo, try dancing around the staffroom sometimes, it might lighten your day.

And on my iPod? The Yeah Yeah Yeah's 'Show Your Bones' ('Turn Into' particulalrly doing it for me right now) and as of today, the new Arcade Fire's effort, 'Neon Bible' (so far, so spectacular).

I am moving back home this month! Part of me is sort of apprehensive at taking on the apartment again, knowing that I am nowhere near being settled at the moment. The other part is giddy at the thought of my own space again. I'm putting in a new bathroom (why THANK YOU Mr Japanese Social Security Man), as the current one is a) ugly, b) ancient and c) ready to give up the ghost. To celebrate my return to Leith, I will be having a serious poker night,. You're all invited, the buy-in's only a tenner, but flights from wherever you're reading this from might cost somewhat more than that. ;)

This being Easter, I decided to head to church this morning for the first time in ages. It was comforting.

I don't feel like being introspective today. Summer's coming, and I decided to go on a road-trip with Joe to New Mexico. But not really, maybe only in our heads. What I am in the process of deciding about is a real trip to Canada in September/October. Flights are WAAAAY cheap around then, and I want to see the family, not to mention Joe and Heather. Would've been great to squeeze in the BC crowd too, but I think that's being rather ambitious. Anyhoo, Cousin Gillian is due to give birth in July, so it would be cool to make it over for then christening, if it happened around then, since I missed her wedding.

Summer's coming indeed. I want to run around outside.

Tokushima Revisted

2007-03-21T19:34:00.000Z

It's been a while. A very long while, and I'm not sure where to begin.

While much happened to me since my last post, the biggest things to happen were my return to Japan and the death of Granny.

Poor Granny first. Since I returned home in August, Granny had been getting progressively worse. Basically, she had Alzheimer's disease. A few weeks ago, she stopped eating and drinking completely, and was going downhill rapidly. Mum was taking care of her, with poor Grandpa still clinging onto some sort of hope that she would pull out of it altogether, and things would go back to normal. It was not to be, and three weeks ago, she was taken to hospital. There, they re-hydrated her, and put her on a drip (at night so that she wouldn't pull the IV out). She seemed to regain her strength, if not her marbles ("Married? Me?!"), and it was looking like she would be getting home to us again. Last week, though, she got some sort of infection in her pancreas, and she left us at 4am on Saturday. I still cannot believe she has gone. I have not cried yet, though I know it's coming. Right now, I'm concentrating on Mum and Grandpa. I have a lot of thoughts on the passing of my Granny, but I haven't the energy to put them down as carefully as they need to be. For now, let it be said that I still expect to see her puff of white hair through the window as I come wandering home at night after work.

Sadly, I wasn't around when Granny went. The cheeky trout chose the week I was in Japan to make her exit.

Yep, that's right, I just couldn't stay away. March 10th saw me standing in front of Tokushima station, feeling like I'd never left. I chose March to return as that's graduation season in Japan, and this year's third graders had been my students since they were in elementary school. How could I NOT go?! So I went, and it was a really amazing trip. I had the warmest of welcomes from everyone I saw. In the space of little over a week, I managed to squeeze in just about everybody I wanted to see. I got lots of cuddles, shared lots of jokes, even played some frisbee, and had the most epic poker game of my entire life.

This was a really eye-opening trip for me. It made me realise that as much as I miss the place, it really is a second home. Tokushima will always be where I left it. I realise that I won't ever feel like a stranger in that land, and that is incredibly heartening, not to mention privelaged. How many people can truly say they feel right at home in more than one place? I also came to the realisation that I no longer have any desire to be an ALT there. That part of me is over and done with. I think I knew this well before I left that summer, but I felt reassured to have it reiterated again during this trip. While I loved every second of my job (ok, every OTHER second), I have no aspirations to do it again.

No, what I miss about Japan, what I truly miss, and what I know will never ever be recreated in my life is the feeling of life being one big holiday. Now, I think 'holiday' is the wrong word here, but I'm not sure what else there is. There was always something to do, somewhere to go, things to see, people to meet. And because we all knew (know) that it's temporary, it gave life over there the special feeling you get when you go on holiday: do it all, cause it won't last. That's what I miss, and that's what can never ever become a normal part of my life. It makes me sad, but I think it's a good and necessary realisation to come to.

Of course, I miss the people over there terribly. Not even so much my Japanese friends. Japan is their home, and I know that in returning to Japan, I will return to them, and they will more than likely be there. But my fellow JET friends. Ugh, the wrench of leaving them again was almost too much. I think it's partly because I haven't found anyone here at home yet that I can talk to in quite the same way as I spoke to my best mates over there. It'll come, I know it will. But in the absence of such relationships here, I pine for the ones I had there, and it's enough to make me cry. The feeling I got when Nate picked me up from the bus station that first day, when I got in his car, and he switched on the tunes, and we started gassing like we only saw each other yesterday... it felt so comfortable, but it served to highlight what is lacking in my personal relationships in Edinburgh.

That'll all change soon... things are moving on. I'm finally getting my house back (come late April), and that'll change things for me a whole lot. But I feel that I won't be in Edinburgh much past the summer of 2008. There's just too much out there to do. I feel like I'm standing at a crossroads in my life, and I think decisions I make over the next few months will affect the rest of my life. I've come home feeling inspired.

Highlights of the trip in brief:

-Poker with the Deer, Saori, Nate and Julie: in this one night, I got FOUR sets of pocket rockets, TWO four of a kinds, was waaay the hell out in front, and then lost the lot to Jord in one hand. Flabbergasting stuff.

-A walk up into the mountains of Higashiiya: all on my ownesome, just me, my camera, and lots of little hamlets. Two hours of listening to the bamboo talk, and simply marvelling at the remotness of it all.

-The musical. Always a joy, and touching to see Jordan so emotional at the end of it all. You done good, Jord.

- Ultimate frisbee: a game Nate arranged for the occasion of my visit. So. Much. Fun.

- The graduation: Such an emotional day, but so happy I was there for it.

- Onsens: Nuff said.

-Inarizushi: Nuff siad.

- BGM, dabaru panchees, vaaaaaaseline, But Fest, secret okonomiyake, rich dads and poor dads, UFC, being pensive in company, viking and all that garlic, that other stuff.

I feel like I have more to report, but truth be told, I'm sleepy, still processing the events of the last week, and getting cold. So here endeth the update. :)

Still here!

2007-03-01T20:15:00.000Z

Update coming soon, lots to tell, but really tired now, so you'll need to wait!

All Fired Up

2007-01-23T19:21:00.000Z

Well, it turned nipple-achingly cold this week. Finally! Still no snow, but a good dose of some cold weather. Excellent stuff.

This past couple of weeks, I have mostly been:
-Sending care packages to Japan. Yup, the kind folks over there sent me some stuff over the Xmas period, so it was high time to reciprocate. Not because I felt I had to. But, for example, I know sending a bunch of face masks and magazines over to Tame-chan will make her day, and that warms the cockles of my heart. Have another couple to send to some of my people over there, but those are still being worked on. Care packages are important. They need to show you care!

-Hanging with my family. We had a kick-ass get-together last Saturday night at my Auntie's house, and practically everyone who mattered was there. It was a huge night, bigger than anyone had reckoned, and I got to see some people I haven't seen in literally years. Be warned: strawberry champagne is not your friend after 5 Asahis.

-Buying new albums. After I write this, I am going to go and acquaint myself with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs most recent album, as well as Isobel Campbell's Mercury-nominated effort. I picked that one cause I like the name, 'Ballad of the Broken Seas'. I had a near meltdown in Fopp on Saturday. I limited myself to £20, but seriously! so so so many albums that have my name on it right now.

-Getting Burnsy. As some of you know, Burns was my thing in Japan, organising the annual supper for the last three years (with a lot of help from my friends). It was always a hit, and I was touched that the folk this year were determined to keep it going. It looked like they had a massive time of it, complete with haggis I flung that direction, and my only wish was that I could have been there to witness Bessie's song, Nate's drunkeness, and Anya's gyrations (apparently). However, I still seem to be a fount of expertise on all things Burns (not to insult the true conniseurs out there, I'm speaking in relative terms). I am the only Scot in our school office, and as such, haggis-buying duty for the lunchtime mini-Burns Supper, fell to me. So I currently have 5 large veggie haggi languishing in the fridge. Veggie cause of the various special diets that our students observe. The event is on Thursday, and while I don't expect quite the same amount of inebraited cosiness and familiarity, it'll still be awesome to introduce such an important part of Scottish culture to the international community.

-Praying for miracles. Get well soon, Rowan.

-Spending money on break-neck hodilays. Yup, I did it, I took the plunge. Saturday 10th March will see me land in Japan for exactely 8 days of graduations, pokers, Awa Odoris, catchings-up, reminiscings, and snugglings. I think I will not be doing myself any emotional favours by going back so soon, but I can't resist, and I promised the chillurn I'd be there to see them graduate. Ja, ikimasu!!

-Thinking healthy. My body hates being idle, and feels the cold ever more. So it's now time to get my ass back in gear, and shift a few pounds. Not feeling fat, but not feeling fit, and I'm bored with not exercising. Am drinking stupid amounts of peppermint tea (my tummy loves it), but the folk at work drink tea something like 5 times a day, and I just can't handle that!

Gotta go listen to Karen.

Working Girl

2007-01-07T13:02:00.000Z

Happy New year! Hope yours was good. Me, I ended up at Rachel's impromptu house party in trendy Cockburn Street, after silly-bad weather called off the traditional street party celebrations in Edinburgh. It was a good time, I met lots of lovely people, though I really only knew Rach and her boyfriend Jake. I guess it was somewhat lonely, and I'd have given anything to see Joe suddenly appear and start dancing in his special Joe-style, or for Nate to come in with a pack of cards. But that notwithstanding, it was a jolly old time. Didn't last long though, was back in the flat by 1.30am listening to the rain outside.

However, 2007 should be interesting. I started my new job on Wednesday there. Hmm. It is mostly good, I think. The people in the office (I work with three others, another girl about my age, and two guys of 'family' age) are lovely and welcoming, and helpful as far as they can be. I am stoked to have people of all nationalities wandering in and out of the office to say hi, or ask me something. And I have suddenly inherited an address book with about 140 Edinburgh families in it, all of them keen hosts for our students, and all of them keen to chat and get to know me. It's daunting but nice. What is not nice is the prehistoric computer system we use. Holy crap, I can see there being computer-related defenestration issues on the horizon...

What is novel is getting up in the morning to put on business casual wear, hop on a bus with 50 other commuters, grab a coffee from Starbucks, and read the Guardian while I kill half an hour before 9am. I walk past the same church at the same time everyday (I know it's the same time, because the chimes always go off as I pass), I sit in the same seat in Starbucks, and before long, I'll be passing the same faces on Shandwick Place, as they make their way to their own places of work. Edinburgh is like that: a village where sooner or later, 'six degrees of seperation' doesn't seem so far-fetched.

After my first day on Wednesday, I walked out into full-on rush hour in downtown Edinburgh, and had 'New York Minute' by the Eagles playing in my head.

I like my job, but I'm not sure I am a 9-5 office girl at heart. This is for sure a road I am keen to explore in my professional life, but I'm also envious of Dave, about to move to Cairns to do some rafting work, and opening up his own business. For now though, a steady income and an ordered schedule will do me a world of good. Edinburgh still isn't sitting right with me, and it's partly because things were so crap for so long after I got back. My new job is going to do a lot to sort my head out, I think.

But today, I've been feeling kind of blue, and missing my old life. I wonder if I'll ever stop missing it, or at least stop missing it enought that it doesn't warrant a mention in this blog?

Accepted and Rejected

2006-12-24T19:35:00.000Z

I am employed! Properly employed! I will be working with the Edinburgh branch of Regent, one of the Uks biggest ESL schools, as their acommodation and welfare officer (placing students with homestay families, in hotels, sorting out welfare issues etc). I am excited beyond belief, and hugely relieved too. I can't wait to see where this could take me. I'll be working in Edinburgh's West End (no theatres, but lots of offices, banks, and suits) Mon-Fri, 9-5. Means I can plan my life again (shift work really doesn't do it for me), and know that I'll always have my weekends free. it's so nice to know that in 2007, I'll finally be living my life. Australia WILL still happen for me, either in '07 or '08, but for now, I want to concentrate on having fun again instead of worrying so about the future, and missing the past.

On the other hand, I heard yesterday that I got an outright rejection from Moray House for the teacher training course! It doesn't really bother me, it wasn't what I really wanted. But I did hope I'd get an interview. I have good experience with children, and I know I got a good refernce from Heinz. Some things aren't to be, and this, I think, was one of them.

It's Christmas Eve. I'm going to go round to our local for a drink with my family and some family friends soon. I wanted to go to Midnight Mass, but our minister has gone to give it at another church a car ride away, which isn't an option for me. And sadly, my exhausted, diseased body (bad cold) insisted on a long lie this morning, so I missed the usual Sunday service. I WILL get to church one day soon, I just really wanted it to be the Watch Night Service.

I hope that all of you, wherever you are, are with people you love, and who love you, and that you are warm, safe and happy. Have a wonderful Christmas, and be thankful for what you have. I'll leave you now with my warmest wishes for you and yours. Merry Christmas!

Second Chances

2006-12-18T15:28:00.000Z

After having the first interview for the ESL school job (as accomodation and welfare officer), I was convinced that, although I hadn't answered anything badly, I didn't really makle myself stand out. I had all but chalked the episode up to experience, and was ready to move on.

Not so fast there, sport! I got a call from the school's principal this morning inviting me back for a second interview. Somewhat unexpected, but it certainly made me smile! It's 9.30am GMT this coming Wednesday, so please keep it all crossed for me!

I'm just finishing a lovely three day weekend. On Saturday, I went into town and finally got some Christmas shopping done. I still have a worrying amount to get though. I also met Rona for a Breakfast Club showing of the Goonies at my favourite cinema, the Cameo. I love that film! The actual reel of film was so old, it jumped around a lot, it was full of cigarette burns, and at one point, we were even watching it upside down. That just added to the 'natsukashii' feeling though! Saturday night was the Gap Xmas night out, and we went to a Mexican restaurant, the Tiajuana Yacht Club. I've had better Mexican food, it must be said, but I had a riot sitting with Craig, Louise and Sarah. We never stopped laughing, mostly at Craig who is a proper comedian, and I awoke on Sunday with a hoarse throat.

Sunday was a relaxing day of visiting my newly-hipped Gran, then me and dad took a walk up to Gladhouse resevoir. It was a beautiful clear and freezing day. We came home to find Mum had finished putting up the Christmas decorations.

Today has been the usual blend of chatting to friends online, washing my clothes, and trying to do a little around the house. Back to work tomorrow, and only a week til Xmas to go! I'm not that excited, really, but it's nice to have something coming up where I get to hang with my family, and eat lots of good food.

If I don't write again til after Christmas, I wish you all a very happy holiday, and I truly hope to catch up with you all in 2007.

Finnish Love

2006-12-04T12:01:00.001Z

It's been a while. I guess things don't seem so vivid and memorable as they did overseas. The trick is trying to remind myself that they really ARE.

A few things have happened. I am enjoying Gap. It's mindless, it's easy, once you know what you're doing, and there's a certain perverse pleasure to be taken from meeting your sales target for a day. It's also nice to be speaking to people my own age, and finding out what's going on in Edinburgh. Polish people rock. We have two working with us, and they are really cool, easy to get along with, and smile endlessly.

David didn't get into the army. This is a blow for all concerned. It sucks to high heaven for him, as now he has to wait another 6 months to go through the whole damn thing again, and in the meantime, has to find a job to keep himself going. And it's looking horribly like he might need to return to Starbucks. It sucks for me, because now there is no date in sight for me getting my own apartment back, as that's where the boy is living. I have no intention of kicking him out, but at the same time, both myself and my parents realise that me living at home for another 6 months will likely drive all of us mad. So words need to be had to come up with some sort of solution.

I met Katja the other week! Katja is a Finnish friend from the heady days of Uni, and together, we were going to change the face of acadaemia. Well, life got in the way of that little idea, but we remained in patchy contact whilst I was in Japon, and then she finally came up to Ed last week with her lovely French boyfriend Laurant and his friend Benoit. We spent a glorious Edinburgh afternoon holed up in the Baillie drinking beer and chewing the fat. It was really great to catch up with her again, and I only wished we lived closer.

I received a wonderful letter from dear James, he of the beard who played rugby and ultimate at various competitions with us, now somewhere in the Australian bush, riding in helicopters and putting fires out. He sent along some snaps of his farm, and I am resolved to getting out to that country really soon. It looks wonderful.

I have my first real job interview coming up! I am so excited, but trying not to get too worked up. It's for an Edinburgh ESL school, working as an accomodation and welfare officer for the students. Woo hoo! I am just glad that finally someone saw my CV as being somehow relevant to what they are looking for. I haven't had interviews for anything apart from shops since my return, so I know that this job might not happen, but it's a real boost for me to finally see some results coming from my experience.

I submitted my application to Moray House College, the teacher training school in Edinburgh. It's not what I want to do. Of that, I am pretty certain. I will go through with the application process, and, should I get an interview, I will try my very best. But the more I think on it, the more I realise that I'm doing it for the wrong reasons. It's a bit of a conundrum, really, because that degreee would be a great way into Australia. But even then, I'd still be tied to teaching. James is urging me to simply take a year off and go on a working visa, see the country, and take it from there. It's a great plan in theory, but the thought of putting life off for yet another year is not one that sits easily in my mind, though it does have its attractions.

Mummy's off to Dublin next weekend for a shopping trip with my aunt. That leaves me and Dad with the rule of the roost. I think he's going to make monkfish tails in balckbean sauce one night for us (a first for me), and I think I'll do curry soup with lots of naan the other night.

Christmas is just around the corner. Madness. I picture where I was this time last year. I try to imagine where I'll be this time next year. Not knowing is exciting, but also pretty frustrating. I thought I was good at being a free spirit, and just letting it all wash over me, but actually, I'm not. I have this impatience to know what's coming next, and to see people and places that sitting back and letting it all happen is like proverbial nails on a board...

Love you all!

You are not your Gap khakis.

2006-11-12T15:34:00.000Z

Oh yes you are! Holy crap, could I be anymore of a corporate whore??! I don't think so. After 4 years in Starbucks, I have now aligned myself with clothes giant Gap. If only for a few weeks. Yes, dear readers, the only place that sees me fit to employ is Gap. And that's ok for now at least. It means I can buy Xmas presents, and it means I stave off serious money issues for at least a few weeks. The job is only temporary for now, but there is the chance of me being kept on. And if that falls through... well, I know of a few Starbucks stores needing some workers... :(

It's been a quiet old life the past week or so. The job is the biggest news. But I did go out with Jillsty on Friday night for the first Japanese food I've had since my return. I was like a kid in sweet shop! Then we went for drinks, and were like the three withes from Macbeth, cackling away in our corner over old stories. Good times.

So, I am excited to start a new job, meet new people and spend some time away from this damn house. I'll write later.

Low Winter Sun

2006-11-06T20:38:00.000Z

Being relatively far north means that Edinburgh gets a small amount of almost painful daylight during the winter months. The sun struggles up over the horizon sometime between 7 and 8am, fights its way around the sky, then gives up the ghost and starts going to bed around 3pm. Sometimes it gets to me, other times, like today, it gives the whole area a very ethereal feel, and illuminates the colours of autumn in a beautiful way. It never feels quite like day, and there's a sense of flux, of nothing being permanent.

Today I spoke to Stu over messenger, and it was one of the nicest conversations. He has an unconscious knack, sometimes, of reminding me how much I miss him, and how much he meant (means?) to me. After we signed off, I was left with a peculiar sense of longing (for him? for company in general?). It wasn't entirely unpleasant.

I had an interview with Margaret Hodge recruitment today. It wasn't fruitful. Although it was the best experience of my life, I think JET is hindering me in my search for work. I must return to university. I need to make a choice between a teaching (fees paid, good salary, guarantee of a job, not really what I want to do) and another vocation (pay own fees, no guarantee of work, but chance of finding something I feel good about). Bear in mind that I want to leave Scotland. With a teaching degree, I could pretty much do that straight away. With another vocation, I'd have to probably get a couple years work experience under my belt first. The comments link is below, use it folks! I want to know what you think, if you happen to be reading.

Right now I'm listening to the new Faithless album on MySpace. I find Maxi's voice ever so comforting. It's a great album, I reckon you should go and buy it.

I am reading the famous (in the UK at least) Scotland Street novels by Alexander McColl Smith. They are pretty good, not too challenging yet.

After I am done with Faithless, I shall go downstairs and hang with my parents, and eat some oat, raspberry and white chocolate cookies.

Second Wind

2006-10-30T10:43:00.000Z

Yus, like Joe, I think it's time for some writing to be done here. Cause I'm lazy, I'm prolly going to do what he did and list.

GOOD THINGS: Keiko coming to visit last week and being truly awed by Edinburgh, reading a book called 'Left Bank', getting exctied about next weekend's trip to Comrie with the family, being told my Margaret Hodge Recruitment that I was a 'star candidate' (see below),

BAD THINGS: Lack of employment, lack of money, lack of social life due to lack of money, indeciveness, boredom.

Last week, I went to a jobs fair at the Corn Exchange in Edinburgh, where I met an ex-JET mow working for recruitment firm Margartet Hodge. She was impressed with my CV, told me not to worry about a thing, and that they'd be in touch. I give them til Thursday, then I'll call them.

Despite being bored, and really not knowing what the hell is going to happen to me, I am feeling pretty ok. I am getting my second wind. There are ways and ways of getting a job, and I think that I just need to go beyond what I thought was necessary to get one. I am not unemployable. I have lots of transferrable skills. I want to work hard, and I want pressure in my life.

But for the last couple of months, I have been missing my snuggle quota by rather a lot. I need a cuddle.

Autumn

2006-10-18T12:15:00.000+01:00

It has finally arrived. Last weekend, the trees must have had a whispered Ent-like conference, because they have all decided, at long last, that it's time to turn lots of lovely colours, and shed their leaves. I think autumn is later in starting now than I remember it to be. This late in October, I'd have expected most leaves to be dead, if not shed yet, and maybe even a couple of morning frosts. But they are only just beginning to change colour, and while the mornings are cold, I don't think there have been any frosty ones. Unless I'm lying in bed too late to see it.

I actually did some socialising last week! On Tuesday, I met with Rach, and we had dinner in her apartment (which, by the way, is the coolest loft space I've ever seen). It was great just to sit and chat with her and Jake.

On Saturday, it was Kirsty's man Aly's birthday. The big 3-0. We went to a pub in town, where about 40 of his friends came and wished him a happy birthday. I knew very few people there, and felt a pang of shyness I haven't felt since before I left for Japan, so I pretty much stayed in the same place all night, and spoke to the people I knew. Hope this isn't a sign of things to come. After, they all decided to go out dancing, but I went back to Kirsty and Aly's where I was staying. I just didn't feel like going to one of the local meat-markets and trying to have a good time. Clubbing's fine, but I have be in a spot-on mood for it, and I just wasn't.

On Sunday, I went to ex Tokkers-Jet Rona's flat for lunch with her and her husband Nick. I had a lovely time, and Rona made quite a feast. Nick is now at Moray House, training to become an English teacher, so I made sure to pick his brain well and good. If I'm to go through with this teaching thing, a decision needs to be made really soon. Like before the end of this month. If I decide to do it, I'm looking at two years in Edinburgh, instead of the seven months I had in mind when I came home. That's pretty frightening, and I don't know if I want to spend that much time here. On the other hand, if I were to do that, it'd make immigrating to another country as a skilled worker that much easier.

I had a major Awa Odori pang yesterday. I had a longing to drink beer from a plastic cup while wandering around in my kimono, sharing jokes with the Minoda-ren mob, chewing the fat with Dave, and getting kancho'd from the kids. I even had a longing to see terrible little Keigo.

Jeremy Irons is on 'Who Do You Think You Are?' tonight. I can't wait. I want to drown in his voice!

Return of the Book Worm

2006-10-06T10:49:00.000+01:00

When I arrived in Japan, my head was so totally fried after my honours years in Uni that I simply could not read anything for about a year. Pretty bad for someone who had previously lived for books. As time went by, I was able to choke down 'Memoirs of a Geisha', 'Harry Potter', and the wonderful '100 Years of Solitude', plus a few non-fiction titles, but my capacity to concentrate on a book was fairly diminished. Besides which, my life over there was so crazy-busy that I often didn't have the time or energy to read. My life WAS a novel!

But having arrived home, I have found to my total joy that my passion for reading fiction has returned. I've read about four books since coming home, two of them fiction, and I am overjoyed. Right now I'm reading something distinctly trashy and Bridget Jones-eque, but far less annoying. Not exactely brain food, but enjoyable nonetheless. Joe, stop that tutting, you literary snob.

My dream job is still proving elusive, sadly. I was actually offered a job this week, but turned it down. Maybe that constitutes looking the gift horse in the mouth, or cutting off my nose to spite (despite?) my face or something, but it was part-time, didn't sound like a really great job, and wasn't really something I saw myself getting passionate about. So I said no. The hunt continues, with four applications handed in yesterday for various shops in the city centre. Yes shops. Not career jobs, those things take the longest time to apply for that I really need something meantime to give me some money.

I have discovered that the central mosque in Edinburgh serves kick-ass food at lunchtime. I went with friend Alice the other day, and for £4.10, got a massive plate of rice, mild chicken curry, curried vegetables and can of soda. Delicious, and if I was a student, I'd be there every day (it's located right behind George Square, the main Uni campus).

I am going into town with mum and dad tomorrow, for dad is taking us to lunch at my favourite pub, the Bailie. The Bailie is not funky. It is not new. It is not The Place to go. It's dark, with red walls, used to be wonderfully smoky (pre ban era), and a fair lot of over 30s go there. it's in a basement, and in winter, I just love curling up there for an afternoon with friends, to get tipsy and talk about how to save the world. They serve out-of-this-world food, and I can't wait to get some tomorrow.

Yes. In my boredom, all I think about is food. Go on, gimme a job, you know you want to...

My thoughts are still pretty much all over the place. I can't decide whether I want to try to ground myself here for a good while, and allow myself to feel that home IS home again, or if I want to keep imagining myself out of here as soon as possible. There are good and bad things to both. Part of wants nothing more than to get my house back, get a new points card for Canonmills Tesco's, cook for friends, get to liking wine again, and not really looking beyond the cosy confines of the Ed. The other part of me keeps clicking onto friend's blogs in Africa, Canada, the US, Australia and yes of course, Japan, and thinking that THAT out there is where I want to be.

I saw Heinz the other day, and it was so so good to see him. For those not in the know (um pretty much everyone reading, I guess), Heinz was my Uni professor, and I have the biggest amount of respect for him. He once again pleaded with me to come back to the department (I said that it would always be on my mind, but knew that it would be a long long time before I could do that), and then asked me why I didn't just go into teaching. And you know, he's right. Why DON'T I just go into teaching? Well, for one thing, you can't and shouldn't JUST go into teaching. I think to be a teacher, you have to have this thirst for it. I maybe had that at one point, but not now. At least not yet now. But teaching is something I have done, something I can do, and something that, given a proper course in it, I think I could do well. So I guess it's an avenue of thought I have to visit.

I am feeling frustrated with life at the moment, and something needs to change.

On Waste

2006-09-25T14:40:00.000+01:00

When reading this, forget things like euthanasia, that's not what I'm talking about.

On Saturday, I met up with an old flat mate of mine that I haven't seen in almost four years. It was great to see him, and hear all his news. He looks happy and healthy and all in all pretty good, so that's great. However, I did hear one sobering piece of news from him that hit home pretty hard.

When we were living together, I got to know some of his friends pretty well. I especially had time for this one guy, let's call him H, who was incredibly friendly, sociable and polite. I found H very easy to talk to, and without getting really close to him, I was always really glad that we were able to be friends. Well, on Saturday, my flate mate had to break it to me that about 18 months ago, H killed himself. He went to the roof of a uni library, floated to the ground, and when he got there, he was dead. I am so so shocked.

Sadly, this is not the first suicide I have had to deal with. Three years ago in January, my uncle hanged himself in his workshop. But when my family broke this news to me on a visit home, shocking as it was, it was easier to handle because they were able to tell me everything I needed to know. With H, it's not like that. My flat mate didn't seem able to talk about it, and I didn't like to further broach a painful subject that he had already dealt with and filed away. Like I say, H and I weren't super close, he was my flate mate's friend. So I somehow didn't feel I had a right to ask as much as I wanted.

When my uncle died, my family were able to relate to me all the sordid details surrounding his death. Horrible as it was, I was able to put the blame somewhere, and try to begin to understand what made him do it (though such questions can never be resolved). With H, there is this big fat "Why?" hanging over it. I can't begin to even speculate how this happy, confidant, wonderful guy went from being so well-adjusted to thinking that the only way things were going to get better was to kill himself. We were never in touch after I left the country, and I wasn't even in touch with the flat mate enough to get to talking about H. So I simply don't know.

What I do know is that I feel angry with him. Suicide is the ultimate in selfishness. I wasn't so close to my uncle. I wasn't close to H. But I can feel nothing but anger and hurt towards them. Until they spoke to every single person in the world that they knew, there was always another way to deal with whatever was going on. Always. I feel sad they are gone. Heartbroken. But also bitter. How dare they take themselves from us like that? Sure, it was their own lives, but what they obviously forgot is that with their life, they touched the lives of others around them. They had no right to decide to sever that in such a way. None.

But what gets me most about all of this is the waste involved. a A total waste of life. This guy, who would have been 23, 24 at the time, and had his whole life ahead of him. He was smart, funny, good-looking, and basically Full of Promise (those who have read Elizabeth Wurtzel's 'Prozac Nation' will get this reference). And now all that potential is gone, just like that. I wonder what he would have gone on to do. Probably he wouldn't have changed the world. Probably he wouldn't have been famous. That stuff doesn't matter. What does matter, is that if he had still been here, he would have still been in touch with people, making them feel good about themselves, making people happy they knew him.

Maybe it was just too much. Maybe he just didn't care anymore. I mean, if he did care, would he have done it?

I'll admit that I am no stranger to harmful thoughts myself. I don't want to go too far into it here, but I've been sad enough to want nothing more than to cause myself actual damage. Something to do with having something physically tangeable and painful to cry over, instead of the stressfulness of what's going on inside your head. But I've never, ever truly wanted to die.

A friend in Japan also recently lost a friend to suicide. I recall her feeling the exact same way I do now. Just totally at a loss as to why someone would do that. I tried to counsel her with the experience of my uncle's death. But then again, I was fortunate enough to know all the details surrounding that. She wasn't, and now neither am I. And it's the saddest, most puzzling and hurtful thing in the world.

This is the most personal thing I have ever written on this blog. I would like to say that I can't imagine any of my closest friends doing that to themselves, but neither would I have said my uncle or H would do it. So you know what? If you ever think about it, don't bother. I won't feel sorry for you. I'll be pissed off with you. Go and find help, for the love of God.

Shuffle shuffle

2006-09-19T15:39:00.000+01:00

Hello dear readers, it's been a while since my last riveting post, so I thought I should say something.

The world of employment still eludes me. I heard from eca on Saturday that I wasn't even called to interview for the International Student Advisor's job. Curses uttered, imaginative walls kicked, and frowns worn, but I guess it's ok. After years of saying that I didn't believe in fate, I have decided to stop trying to convince everyone I am Neo-esque in my outlook. To a degree, it's all mapped out, I reckon, so I am thinking that that job simply wasn't for me. I am hoping the one at the Japanese Consulate will be. If not... well, others are in the pipeline too.

I met ex-Tokkers JET Rona on Saturday. It was cool to speak to someone who actually knew what I was talking about, but my head felt like it was going to split me in two, so a couple of times I sat in silence, willing the pain to subside so I could gab some more. Twas not to be though. I hobbled home clutching my head, willing it not to fall off. There will be other opportunities to chat uninhibited, I'm sure.

I had a semi-night out with Kirsty, the twins and Kerry on Friday. I wish I could have stayed longer, but I just can't justify a huge night on the town at the moment. The twins are Emma and Susan, friends of Kirsty's from Uni. Kerry is a mate from school. Good fun and good craic. We got a taxi from Kirsty's up town, and I haven't been in such a girly setting for ages and ages. I'd forgeooten how much a group of girls can gas and bitch when they get together!

Speaking of gassing, last Wednesday saw me standing outside that staple of Edinburgh coffee shops, Elephant and Bagels, waiting to meet Rachel. For those not in the know, Rach is one of my two best mates from Uni, and I hadn't seen her since before I left for Japan. We talked and talked and talked nonstop for two hours. Our emails to each other over the years haven't been particularly regular, but we were able to pick off rght where we left off, and I can't tell you how good that was. Now that she's up here for her masters', I am looking forward to lots of hot chocolates, dinners and just chatting sessions.

I am so so bored right now. I promise that my life (and hence my blogs) will get much more interesting once someone deems me respinsible enough to give me a job. Oh, the plans I have!! And I need to post some pictures soon too!

Still a Dangler at Heart

2006-09-08T10:25:00.000+01:00

When I was living in Japan, I always used to get onto my friends and family for saying in their emails that "nothing was happening". Well... they were right. Nothing happens here. So to everyone who I lambasted for not writing me longer emails, I apologise. Life is empty and boring, you were right. ;)

Ok, I don't actually feel that terrible at all. There is plenty to write about, it's just not as obvious as it was in Japan, if you see what I mean.

The other day, David and I went to Alien Rock, our local (ish) climbing wall. I calculated that I hdn't been in about 4-5 years! I have to admit, I was a little nervous about clipping in that first time. What if I hadn't tied in properly? What if I had become a weak pansy who couldn't even pull herself up a grade 4? What if David had forgotten how to belay?! All my worries were, thankfully, unfounded. Tying a figure 8 is as easy now as it was then. I walked up the 4s and even some of the 4+s. David was up to his usual tricks, letting me abseil down to a few inches above the ground, then letting me dangle on the ATC til he felt like letting me down. It was a lot of fun, and although my out-of-condition forearms tired relatively quickly, I am eager to get back down there as soon as I can, and try to get myself up to, and then surpass, the level I climbed at years ago.

The job hunt is still going strong, but the waiting game is killer. My most exciting prospect at the moment is the post of Political and Economic Researcher at the Japanese consulate in Edinburgh. The salary hasn't been decided yet, and as it's not a very high-profile position, it'll likely be peanuts. However, I think I'd be willing to work for peanuts if it meant I could still have some sort of link to Japan. I really need to get something small to keep me going money wise. But the big jobs take such a long time to apply for, that by the time I'm done with those, I am really tired, and just want to have a cup of tea.

My boxes from Japan still haven't arrived. I think they probably have a week or so to go until I can start worrying though. There's nothing hugely important in them, but one does have my winter clothes, and the others contain all those gubbins that remind you of home: the pictures, the CDs, the books, the little wooden Buddha that Anya brought you from Cambodia, that used to act as poker button on Friday nights at your place. Sentimental stuff that you can look at and smile.

My state of mind is much improved, which is great. Being here still feels odd, uncomfortable and cold, but I have regular contact with most of the important people back east, and I feel confident in saying that, unless great big things happen, I won't be here for long. But you know... that consulate job, even if it is mule's work, could lead to good things. That could be the thing that kept me in Edinburgh longer than I am planning now.

Thanks Rona for that heads up, by the way! I emailed you from the JETAA site. Did you get it?

Must Stop Doing This to Myself

2006-08-28T20:27:00.000+01:00

Aaargh! Just read Smitha's blog (hey Smitha!) and about how all the westies went for karaoke in Mikamo and had a great night and blah blah blah... definite lurch of the stomach and stinging of the eyes. I really should not keep such a close track of life back in Tokkers, as it will only make life that much harder for me out here. But you know, with nothing on my hands but time at the moment... it's hard to let go.

I had kind of a downer today anyway, so I'll bet that when I am up, I won't feel as inclined to go clicking round blogs of yore. They're all just such good writers, though, and more often than not, it's really good to read what people are up to.

I saw Jane today, which was good. She has a new job lined up, starting next week. Imagine, our wee Jane finally a lawyer! Good for her.

I also saw Pernilla! Oh my oh my, it was SO good to see Perny again! She's sort of as down as me, having just graduated from Glasgow School of Art in Embroidery, but not finding the scene in Glasgow to be really buzzing just now. She's heading back to Malmo next month for a break and to gather her thoughts. She looks great though, in the quirky, unique way that only Pernilla can look great.

Sex and the City day turned out to be a so-so affair. It was good to get out and meet new people, but you know, all these people have families, are in their 30s and live in places like Curry and West Calder, so it's not as if I really networked. And some, who shall remain nameless, are total snobs, even worse than the pseudo-snobbery I put on to piss my friends off. True snobs, and they weren't brought up like that.

I heard from Vivi today too, and that was great! I miss Vivi and her ray of sunshine smile. Man, I am planning a MASSIVE trip around NA, I can tell you. I tried to link to Vivi's new website, but I think my blogger template is really screwed, so intead I'll list it here for now.

Back on the job hunt tomorrow. I wish I could give myself more time to get used to this country again, but I really need an income, and idleness does not become me.

On Being Back Part 1

2006-08-24T19:47:00.001+01:00

So I've been back a few days now. Primary reflections of an alien in her own home:

Firstly, this is NOT my home. I am in Roslin (yeah, that place from The Da Vinci Code) at my parents house, which is simply cavernous. Except the folks aren't here. They're in Canada, and I am here with the sweet, batty grandparents. I haven't LIVED here for six years. my room is exactely the way it was when I graduated high school (all suns and moons, Kurt Cobain posters, wind shimes and fairy lights). It's sort of depressing, but sort of comforting. Sort of like returning to the womb.

I went for a walk yesterday in Roslin, and for the first time that I can recall, I didn't see a single person I knew. Where did everyone go? I guess Roslin is an attractive suburb, with good local schools, and has seen an influx of new families. The Chapel is simply crawling with tourists, and there is a big new car park on Crawford's field where we used to go sledging in winter. Sad. Interesting. Progressive.

In doing my washing, it never fails to delight me to see my clothes come out CLEAN, not covered in lint, and smelling nice.

I went to Fopp in Cockburn Street (pronounced Co-burn for all you non-Edinburghites) the other day, and was immediatley transpoted into paroxysms of delight at the sight of all the new non-Jpop music... all sorts of stuff that I wanna share with people everywhere. Some special people are gonna be gettin' some special CDs through the mail in the future.

It is light here until a ridiculous hour at night, meaning I think the night is still young, when it is, in fact, 10pm. Nuts.

I went to Boots today and was BOWLED OVER at the cosmetics on offer. I mean.. where am I supposed to start? I guess it was the same in Japan, but I could easily ignore most of it, given I couldn't understand the packaging. But today, I found myself puzzling over blackhead prevention facial scrub, and deep-down daily facial scrub. Whatever happened to a simple scrub? I went for the daily stuff. Also, I love how in Japan the body lotions have whitener in them, and the ones here have bronzer in them!

I have been pouring over cookery books, planning my first assault on the kitchen. I am ITCHING to do some cooking again.

I saw some cows today and was all sorts of happy over seeing them. They just aren't seen in my part of Japan. These were beautiful big balck and white beasts with soft brown eyes, in a GRASSY field. Divine.

Amyway... just some random observations.

Snow Patrol with Kirsty tomorrow. Lunch with Jill on Saturday. Sex and the City day on Sunday. Glasgow to meet Jane and visit Perny on Monday. Excitement. Miss having a bloke friend on hand...

On Being Back Part 1

2006-08-24T19:47:00.000+01:00

Home Is Where the Heart Is.

2006-08-22T16:04:00.000+01:00

Hello all. I am back. The day dream hath ended. Now I can no longer cackle in ignorant bliss at the phrase 'income tax'. I made a new friend yesterday called Stephanie, and she is my account manager at RBOS. All of a sudden, I am a grown-up, and I have Stuff To Do.

My last couple of weeks in Japan were busy, stressful, wonderful, sad and unforgettable. I spent a week or so living and working at Happy Raft as General Bitch About the Base, making lunches, serving tea, answering questions and the like. I lived in the guidehouse with Dave, which I doubt even the most hardened of outdoor type dudes would warm to. I mean, if the boys of the house find the toilet too grim to even pee into, how was a girly gonna manage? Well, I didn't, I made do with a bush, and saved the rest for the lovely flusher at the base. Other than the nasty house, the time at the base was.... hard work, exhausting, but a welcome change from being sat at my desk in Miyoshi-chu, wanting to be outside.

On the 9th, Sally arrived. She looked scared. And it took her a while to stop looking scared. But by the time I took my leave of her, she was beginning to relax. She's very different to me, I think, but that's a good thing. It's excellent for the kids to be exposed to all sorts of foreigners.

Obon was exhausting, and emotional, but a lot of fun. Minoda-ren gave me a poster panel of the poster I feature on this year. People cried, and told me to come back next year. The ren has been like a family to me these three years, so bidding them farewell really hurt.

The eikaiwa class gave me a truly wonderful send-off as only they can. Amazing food, entirely too many presents, and a whole lotta love.

Hanna and Kuni were simply wonderful at putting me up, and holding onto my stupid amount of baggage while I was homeless. They really made the whole thing less stressful for me. Looking forward to showing them the same sort of hospitality whenever they come out to Scotland.

My goodbye to Joe was wonderful. We were walking along the street after Awa Odori with the noobs in Tokushima, and he said "I don't want to talk to you anymore Ellie". And I said "That's fine, I don't want to talk to you either". And we didn't, we walked off in opposite directions. It was funny and sweet, because if it hadn't been like that, it would have been messy.

Of course the hardest goodbyes were Dave and Nate. I said goodbye to Nate twice. His Dad was visiting, and on the day of our first goodbye (the final day of dancing too), I spent a wonderful morning with them at the onsen and later on at the beautiful Kurozo marshland between Nishiiya and Ikeda. Nate's Dad is an incredibly warm-hearted, big bear of a man. I took to him immediatley, and was able to see where Nate gets a least some of his traits from. Lovely. They came to see me dance, along with the whole gaggle of Miyoshi-gun noobs, and I was so happy to see familiar faces in the crowds. They drove me home after dancing, after I said goodbye to the ren. And although I didn't cry when I said bye to Nate, I had to go and lock myself in the bathroom to howl for a good 10 minutes when I got into the apartment. Poor Sally must have felt a bit awkward.

Luckily, I got a second goodbye cuddle from Nate a few days later, and I didn't cry this time either. I think cause I was spent from crying so much, but also because he made me feel loved and missed, and somehow that took the edge off.

My goodbye to Dave was, as not as... drawn-out as I had planned. A good thing? It was sad, I cried a heap, told him I loved him, and left not sure if we would ever see eachother again, despite me being so sure we would previously. Tough one. I can't talk about it too much, I am still crying over him not being close to me.

Japan tried to send me off by charging me an extra 8.5,an for excess baggage. I nearly died. A nice man decided to knock it down to 3.5man for me. Screw you Japan, love you Lufthansa man!

I am home, and cold, and not really believeing that I am here to stay. Odd feeling. Need a job, need to get some friends. But I only want Nate and Dave and Joe and Jordan and Jenna and Amber and Tera and Kelly and Anya. And everyone else back in Japan or wherever you are.

Stay tuned, people, it's going to be an interesting time of it.

Sayonara pictures coming as soon as I figure out how to hook my camera (on its last legs) up to Daddy's computer.

I LOVE YOU ALL AND MISS YOU TREMENDOUSLY.

2.5 weeks....

2006-08-02T04:06:00.000+01:00

Man, I am so ready to be outta here. I am have telling everyone this, and I am sick of talking about it, so I'll say no more. But yes, that is my feeling.

Things have been cer-azy recently. Mad parties up at Sean's, getting totally floored by a cold, cleaning, packing, seeking out alternative accomodation for when I lose the house, enkais, dancing... yup, with all that, really it's no wonder I got sick.

Sean's party was a blast. Two weeks ago, up at his amazingly renovated house in Higashiiya. It was a very esoteric crowd, it was an odd party, but a good one. Me and Nate smoked cigars. I saw Dave. I felt love for everyone there. I enjoyed the speactacle of seeing Sean get totally wasted. And his ensuing hangover the next day. I also enjoyed swimming in Nate's river the next day with Anya-chan and Nacho himself.

My house looks amazing. It has been gutted. It is clean. It is tidy. And I have SO MUCH stuff to send home. Mum and Dad'll have a fit. Man, I feel like I still have a lot to do. I really would just rather have it all over now.

Not much else to tell, and not any time to tell it in, so you'll just have to wait. :)

School's out for summer!

2006-07-20T06:31:00.000+01:00

Yup, that is it. The last farewell speech. The last bunch of flowers (I hope!). Probably not the last tears cried, but hopefully close.

I won't dwell on it all here. It's in my head for now, and I haven't the energy to regurgitate it all yet. I have my final teacher's enkai tonight, which I hope will be a blast, then on holiday for a week, then back for a final few days to sort out the desk and other loose ends, then I am done.

People are away already. Andy left last Friday. Stu on Monday there. Such a strange feeling.

Today, I applied for a job. Eek! As an academic adviser with the Uni of Edinburgh! Sounds right up my street, but the interviews will be held August 7th, and I'm not going to be around for that. So the hope is that I've sold myself well enough to presuade them to wait for me.

Also done some kanji study today.

I haven't much else to write for now. I have the music issue of Nylon magazine, and it's full of cool-sounding new bands. So now I'm going to look for some free MP3s online.

It's raining like a mofo.

Sayonara Weekend

2006-07-10T01:55:00.000+01:00

Firstly, thanks to Rona for the comment she posted on my previous entry. Will look out for you at JETAA.

Aaaaah! This weekend. It was really pretty huge. It was happy. It was so very sad. It was relaxing. It was exciting. It was very very.

Friday started with what will probably be the last poker night we'll have. It wasn't as fun as I had expected. We played for too much money, and as a result everyone played very conservartively, and we didn't get much excitement going on. However, I always enjoy my time with Joe, Jordan, Julie and Nate, so from that perspective, it was a good time.

On Saturday, I was met off the stupid-early train by Terlynn and Amber, and we drove aaaall the way down to Ikumi beach, so they could surf, and I could watch, and make sand angels and swim in the ocean. It was an overcast day, but it was good. There's something wonderful about the feel of the sea air in your lungs, your hair going all stiff with salt, wandering around in flip-flops with your skin all sandy, and eating big burgers for lunch after a morning playing hard. It was relaxing in a way I haven't been relaxed in a while.

Saturday night was the Sayonara Party. I had been looking forward to this beause it's the one night of the year when EVERYONE apart from the most hardened recluse comes out. This year, something changed, and while the vast majority of JETs were there, lots weren't and I was quite disappointed. However, the people who were there are ones who have rocked my world this year, so it was all good. First of all I FINALLY got a ride on Noam's motorbike! I was so happy! I never see that Kat, so the first I said when I saw him was "You owe me a ride!". So we went! On the roads surrounding the campground. It was a lot of fun. Noam only had his helmet, so we took it easy. It was exhilirating all the same. On our travels, we spied a massive climbing frame, just begging to be exlored by semi-naked/inebriated JETs. So we went back, grabbed Amber Teralynn and Smitha, changed back into our swimmies (as by this times it was raining), and went to play. Such fun! But I have a well-bruised behind today from going on the damn roller slide.

The party went on as most JET parties do. Rory got too drunk. BJ played some cool tunes. We danced some. Took lots of pictures. Chatted. A bunch of us decided to hit the sack about 11.30pm. And so it was time for my first proper goodbyes.

It hurt a lot. First came Jenna, and I wasn't feeling like I was going to cry at all, since she looked so strong. Then came Amber, who made the mistake of saying "Don't you cry", thus opening the floodgates. And once I started I couldn't stop. It felt so utterly wrong to be saying goodbye to people who mean so much to me, and my head and my heart were all asking me why I was doing this. I had a miserble night, couldn't sleep well, and kept on tearing up. Ugh.

In the morning, it was raining really heavily, but that soon gave way to a blue sky and blazing sunshine. Still feeling down, I had planned on getting home as quickly as possible so I could wallow in self-pity, and get some sleep. But it was really a great day, so I decided to tag along with Nate and Ben who were going climbing in nearby Hiwasa. Teralyn came too, and of course Ben's wife Julia.

It was a wonderfully relaxing afternoon. It was difficult for us girls to get down to the base of the routes the boys wanted to climb, as we were only in flip flops, and the walk called for some proper scrambling. So instead, we clambered up to the top of the cliffs, and secured ourselves a great vantage point. We spent a wonderful three hours or so simply taking in the view of the ocean, watching the boys do their thing (wished to goodness I could have joined in! Oh for my rock boots!), and chatting about all manner of things. It was really a lovely way to spend the day. It was a little overcast, but really warm and breezy, so I am sporting a nice red back today, despite creaming up. Rats.

We then went for dinner at a Canadian burger restaurant, before I headed for the train home. Arriving home at 10.30pm, I was wiped out, emotional, but oddly relaxed.

I simply can't place my feelings now. I am heartbroken that the goodbyes have started, but I also wish they were over already, so that I didn't feel so bad. I think what affected me most on Saturday night was not saying goodbye to people, although that was incredibly painful, but witnessing the way that those who were not leaving were enjoying themselves. For them, Saturday was mostly just another party. I know that they will miss us. But they have a fresh bunch of people coming who will all be equally as special in their own way, and while they'll once in a while maybe think "Gosh, wish Ellie/Amber/Joe was here to enjoy this", they'll be cool, because while we're not there with them, others are. It was hard for me to see friendships growing on Saturday night between people who have a year or two left together knowing that, for the most part, my own friendships with these people have gone as far as they're going to. Even writing that is gut-wrenching. There are one or two people I am leaving, and I so wish I had had more time with them. How I wish for that.

So, to the people reading this who have been with me here, and to The People reading this (I hope The People know who they are): I love you so much, and leaving you will leave a hole in my heart that will never be filled in. Know you are special, know you are amazing, and know that no matter where or when, I will be here for you when you want or need me.

Weary

2006-07-06T01:17:00.000+01:00

It's been a while since my last post. Why? Don't know. Just haven't felt like writing, I suppose.

My body hates me for constantly putting it in harms way. I am afflicted with all manner of little ills at the moment, all combining to exhaust me and worry me. I'm sure none of them are at all serious, but it's just a crappy time for me to be feeling ill, when I should be feeling super-healthy and happy. Meh.

James sent me a book to read which he translated from French. He's such a clever-clogs, he is! It's a history of France in the 17th century, but related from the standpoint that women, love and sex were major reasons for some of that period's most important events. It's funny and informative, and while I'm not sure how respected the work is in historic circles, it does give a good outline of the events which shaped France.

This weekend is the Sayonara Party. Wow. But we are expecting a typhoon. And we're supposed to be camping. Damn.

Last weekend was the Taj Ultimate Frisbee tourny which, if I had been feeling 100%, and if I'd had more than 30mins sleep on Friday night, would have rocked my socks. Lets say it rocked one sock. The other was concerned with ongoing stomach trouble after taking antibiotics for impetigo, coping with gnat bites (OW!), and trying to stay alert enough to catch the frisbee. The sock didn't do so well, and I played for peanuts.

I am dreaming of.... sandwiches from Bar Italia, shopping in Newington, going to the Cameo on rainy Friday nights, doctors who speak English, trying out new recipes, feeling healthy.

I, Gaijin

2006-06-23T00:24:00.000+01:00

It occurred to me the other night, during the course of a conversation with Nate, Joe and Jordan, that this blog is incredibly superficial. And not that there is a thing wrong with that; I wanted it to be a place where I could record my experiences without the bulk of a paper journal. But my journals are much more reflective than the majority of these blogs are, and more eloquent too. I am aware that my writing has lost a lot of the expressiveness I was able to give it when I was doing it on a more regular basis in university.

Our conversation, amongst other things, was about how foreigners perceive the native community here in Japan. Throughout my last year here, I have consciously decided to distance myself from the Japanese community. Not because I dislike them, far from it. But for a time now, I have felt that my ideals are not those of the Japanese people, and I struggled to find common enough ground with most Japanese people that I wouldn’t be left tearing my hair out after a conversation. I think my attitude towards the Japanese has grown very negative in the last twelve months. Only yesterday, I found myself biting my tongue as an eikaiwa student detailed how, after finding a wart on her neck, she went to a dermatologist to have it removed. He said it was too small to remove. Unsatisfied, she drove an hour and a half to another doctor who was willing to take it off. Then she was upset over the price. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t just listen to the first doctor. Her ire over a small skin blemish struck me as rather vain, and the fact that the other class members in the room were nodding sympathetically led me to the conclusion that, in this student’s position, they’d have done the same thing.

This is where the gaijin community sells our Japanese friends short. Before arriving in this country, the majority of us do some sort of research on the community we are attempting to become a part of. Time and again, we read about the Japanese ‘group’ mentality; about how the standards and aspirations of the group are valued higher than those of the individual, be it the family, the company, the club or what have you. The archetypal Japanese salaryman is a common example in trying to explain this phenomenon to new arrivals: he works ridiculous hours, even when he has no real work to do, will go out on mid-week benders with his department to foster team spirit, and will often become little more than a stranger to the family he is working so hard to support. Of course, such people do exist in Japan: I’ve seen them on the Tokyo subways, late at night, shirt open at collar, cheeks flushed from beer, eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep. They are a sorry sight, but a familiar one.

Now, here’s the crux: foreigners in Japan have become so accustomed to reading about and witnessing this ‘birds of a feather’ behaviour, that oft-times, we forget to dig deeper. Japanese people are not as cut-and-dry as much of the literature would have you believe. Individualism is rife in Japan, but people are not taught to express it. The group comes first. That doesn’t mean that individualism doesn’t exist. It just comes second.

Case in point: the self-assured, distinctive, refreshing Yoshida-sensei. Yoshida-sensei is a member of my eikaiwa class. She’s a staunchly feminist, human rights loving, knowledge thirsty middle-aged elementary school teacher. She’s not afraid to express her views, at least to our little club. She’s openly critical of the government, and loves to ask about women’s equality in other parts of the world. She’s an assertive, intelligent woman whose views would arguably be more at home in the west. What marks her out as Japanese is the fact that she is still very much a team player. She goes to work on a Saturday. She begs the favour of her peers. She serves tea to her male colleagues. Does this make her a hypocrite? Some might say yes, but I don’t think so. She gains more utility (to make use of economic language) by suppressing her own views and interests in order to achieve a common goal. She is prioritizing, and what Yoshida-sensei illustrates is that the Japanese have a different order of priorities to Westerners. The team comes first. The individual comes later, in private time with friends rather than collegues.

Until I was discussing this topic with the boys on Wednesday night, I had forgotten that Japanese are very much individuals, and that they just don't express it as much. In distancing myself from them, I allowed myself to place all Japanese people in the same boat, which is unfair. I'm not about to go out and start shunning the company of fellow foreigners in favour of Japanese people again, as I did in my first year out here. But I think I need to be a little more lenient in my judgement of them.

Again, eloquency fails me. This is hardly ground breaking thought, but I guess that's what I get for trying to expound on a 36 hour old conversation.

All Things Go...

2006-06-14T06:47:00.000+01:00

Hmm, there is SO much I need to be doing right now, and I really don't want to do any of it. I feel so disorganised and lethargic. I just want to be outside! I don't want to teach anymore! Only 6 weeks to go... scary, but kinda nice. I almost wish it was August 20th already, and then I would have had all the painful goodbyes, have packed up my house, have got my successor sorted out, and be ready. All this prep is no good for one's constitution!

What is good for one's constitution is spending a weekend in the mountains with a great person, soaking up the calm, and talking about farms in Australia. I spent this past weekend down in Hongawa with James, and thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was such a change of pace, and James is a very refreshing person to be around. I made a great curry, he made an even greater apple crumble, and I altogether wish I could spend more weekends like that... just kicking back and chewing the fat. He has a farm down in Oz... well, it's his parent's, but it'll probably become his. Not sure if I'll see James again this side of the planet, but I hope that I can visit him in Gippsland. I so wish we had met a lot earlier: it's an odd and not entirely comfortable feeling to think that someone might have been a great friend if only you'd had a bit of extra time to hang with them. I'm actually feeling this way about a lot of people I met recently: there simply isn't enough time, I guess!

I think I am going to skip dance practice tonight to do some cleaning, and try to sort some stuff out. I need to make a start, or I never will.

In other news, Christian down in Miyazaki is attempting, along with many other people, to break the record for the longest basketball game ever played. I think they're going for something mad like 60 hours. If it works, they'll get into the Guiness Book of Records! Go Christian!

I have nothing else for now, except that I am sat right underneath the aircon, and I'm cold.

How To Acquire a Taste for Grapefruit

2006-06-07T05:18:00.000+01:00

I never did like grapefruit. I found it bitter and far from refreshing, much to the incredulity of pretty much everyone everywhere. Most people, it seems, like grapefruit. This is the story of how I finally became a huge fan of the humble grapefruit.

As regular readers will know, my good friend Nate and I had planned a weekend of hiking and camping in the Ishizuchi Quasi National Park in neighbouring Ehime Prefecture this weekend past. We planned to take in Ishizuchi-san herself, plus another couple of smaller peaks, kipping halfway through at a designated, but isolated, camping spot. We were joined unexpectedly by Nate’s friend Roger, a massive Swiss fellow Nate had met over the Christmas vacation in Cambodia. Roger arrived in Japan last Wednesday and had decided to come to Shikoku to see Nate. Since our plans had been set pretty solidly for a number of weeks, Nate asked Roger to come with us, and he happily agreed.

On Saturday, we set off bright and early from the car park at the base of Mount Ishizuchi. Because we are young, beautiful and incredibly stupid, we decided to forego the ropeway lift that takes people halfway up the mountain in the name of mountaineering purity. So we slogged our way all the way up the mountain. It was a hot hot day, and water went fast. Nevertheless, we felt fit and good, the banter was rolling, and we were having ourselves a damn good time.

Nearer the top of the mountain, we ran into my friend James, who had started the hike from Ishizuchi’s south side in order to meet us on our way up. After another couple of hot hours, myself, Nate and James gained the airy summit of Ishizuchi-san, having left Roger resting a painful hip at our lunch spot. We played around on the summit a little, enjoying the vertiginous feelings it inspired, before going back to Roger, and descending the southern side of the mountain.

Another three or so hours later, we finally got ourselves to the camp ground, and made a great little base. After a bath (my first mixed onsen!) at a nearby lodge, the three boys and I joined the lodge caretaker and his one guest for some dinner and drinks that the guest insisted on paying for. He was an incredibly nice fellow who had come to Ishizuchi for sentimental reasons. His wife and him had enjoyed climbing the mountain together, but sadly, his wife died five years ago. He had come back for her. We soon called it a night, the three original members of my party heading to our tents, leaving James merrily chugging sho-chu with the guest and the lodge caretaker (who is a friend of James’).

Sunday dawned bright and clear. Roger complained that his hip and knee were hurting badly after so much climbing the day before. Nate and I were also pretty wiped out, so we made the decision to avoid climbing another mountain by taking a path which, on the map, looked to skirt round the base of the mountain, yet still put us in the same end point as if we had taken our original route. We consulted the caretaker who said he’d never heard of anyone using that path before, and that it may be bad. We decided to try it anyway (Fools? Us?).

We found the path after one false start, and jauntily walked down it, chewing the fat, and marveling at the good weather. Or some such crap equally as cheerful. The path started to get overgrown, but was still visible, and looked to be following a river. On we went. Eventually, the path became completely overgrown but by the time we realized this little fact, we had already clambered down or around several waterfalls and other bothersome geographical entities. We stopped and debated. I think my exact words were “Well, I’m up for an adventure”, and this seemed to be the general consensus of the group, so we went on (Fools? Us? Yeah, ok.)

The going got stupidly difficult, but we knew (or so we thought) where we were, and since the path on the map was only two-three kilometers long, we were convinced that, as long as we followed the river, we’d hit our road sooner or later. It came to one o’clock, and the landscape kept forcing us higher into the surrounding mountain. This was not in the plan, and so Nate left us on a foray to try to find a way down to the river. He came back some time later to report a huge waterfall ahead of us, and that our only way past it was to climb up the mountain around it. We thrashed our way through the forest climbing higher and higher. Eventually, we got to a high point. The head of the mountain ridge. Here, we were able to see our valley and the one next it, and hear the river in the other valley. If the valleys merged into one, then so did the rivers. And that was a major feature on our map! Mild concern gave way to relief as we realized that we were indeed on the right track, that the compass had been right, and that the map wasn’t totally awry. We decided, since the drop down to the river was so steep in our valley, to cross over into the other valley, and follow that river instead.

Lo and behold, the same geographical boundaries stood in our way. A big waterfall forced us high up into the neighbouring mountain in order to avoid it. By this time, it had reached 5pm. It was clear that we were not going to get to our intended destination by nightfall. Rather than try to follow the blasted river any further, we decided to hack up to the top of the ridge we were on in order to find flat ground in order to pitch a tent on. We had been attacked by various biting insects all day, and staying a night out in the open on a slope with no protection would have made a meal of us. A desperate hour of serious uphill work later, we gained to top of the ridge. Or at least a flat part of it. On the way up, we heard the shrine drums on Ishizuchi-san, and were sure we could hear the cable car, and this reinforced in us the idea that we were in the right area. For my part, half of me felt scared and worried and disbelieving that I was about to spend an unscheduled night on a mountain, the other part felt like I was in ‘Swallows and Amazons’ or an Enid Blyton adventure, and looked forward to missing school the next day in order to get myself out of a pickle.

We cleared enough space to pitch my little 1.5 man tent (big enough for one, two is getting cosy). Got out the sleeping gear and crammed ourselves inside. It was a long, hot, uncomfortable night. Thankfully it didn’t rain. Three of us in there. A well-built American on one side, a massive Swiss bloke on the other and wee me in the middle. By the time my alarm went off at 5am, we were all suffering with cramps and lack of sleep. We were also all partially dehydrated. Water had become a problem around the same time as we decided to camp out, and Roger even suggested we conserve our wee in the empty water bottles just in case. We didn’t. What we did do was split the one and only grapefruit we had brought with us. As I said, I don’t like grapefruit. But that night, parched, worried and hungry, it was the best thing that had ever passed my lips. It was sweet enough to stop my tummy gurgling, it had bite enough to refresh, and it had juice enough to trick my tongue into peeling itself off the roof of my mouth. I haven’t eaten another grapefruit yet, but I bought one today, and am planning on eating it when I next want a drink. So, before I reach the end of my story, here is its message: if you want to start liking a particular food, get yourself lost in the woods with some of it, and I guarantee, it’ll be your new favourite by the time you get out.

The next morning, we set off around 5.45am. Not the way we came, and I can’t for the life of me remember why we didn’t. There was a logical reason for not going back down the same ridge we came up, I know there was, but it escapes me now. Anyway, we decided to head down the side of the mountain rather than the ridge, and the going was tough. We had to use long reedy grass as ‘rope’, lowering ourselves down backwards much of the time. The mountain was really steep, and if we fell, it could have been pretty bad.

We found a stream high enough up to fill our water bottles with, and that was a massive relief. The low water had been gnawing away at us all, and although we didn’t voice our thoughts to each other, it had become a major concern. Once again, the valley floor hid behind impossibly high or steep cliffs, and wouldn’t let us down. I suppose I had thought it before this point, but I think I first remember the water stop being a point where I worried about dying. Everyone, from the moment they are aware of death, has had the thought or uttered worries about possibility of death. But how many people have uttered them without the slightest hint of flippancy? For the first time in my life, it occurred to me that it was very possible I might die in that place. It wasn’t a huge jolt, it wasn’t ever at the front of my brain, it was just a quiet voice in some part of my head whispering a memento mori to me.

We turned to climb away from the river, since it was about to go over another waterfall, and we couldn’t follow it. After a little while, we stopped for a break. Exhausted. We looked at each other. The boys said we should phone for help. I wanted to keep going. The idea that we actually needed help to get us out of this situation was still a little far-fetched to me, and I wanted to keep going til midday. The boys, though, were firm, and I relented. Nate and I had our cell phones with us (stroke of luck number one), but the signal was patchy, so we had to climb higher to use them. I contacted Claire, the Tokushima PA, Nate contacted Sean, the artist living in H.Iya. And that was it. The ball was rolling.

What we had to do now was climb to as high as we could, find a spot with as few trees as possible and wait. It took another two hours to do this, and I don’t think I have ever felt so utterly defeated. The enormity of the situation we were in hit me, and I grunted and moaned and whimpered my up the mountainside. The vegetation was so thick, we could barely see 10 feet in front of us. We had to use our arms to fight our way through, and today I consequently look like I’ve been self harming. When we finally got to a semi-clear point, and could go on no further (neither our bodies nor the mountain would allow it), I sat down and cried. I was totally exhausted, hope of us getting out without help was gone, people were worrying about us, and we were now at the mercy of nature and the police. I guess we had always been at the mercy of nature; one fall could have broken someone’s ankle, and the whole thing could have gone differently. A snakebite. Rain. No river with which to refill our water bottles. But as long as we believed we were walking out by ourselves, it felt like we were in control. As soon as we called for help, it was like we relinquished that control to other parties, and that, I think, is what broke me.

After I pulled myself together, we dug out my tent fly sheet and strung it up in the trees. We had some calls from the police trying to ascertain our position. We waited. We didn’t say much. Eventually, we heard the sound of the helicopter approaching. When it came into view, we went mad, shouting (like they’d be able to hear us), waving the tent sheet, using my mirror to reflect the sunlight. Thankfully, they saw us. The helicopter swooped over us, looking at our position and waving to us (we must have looked like we were totally mental, jumping up and down and waving like crazy). They started speaking to us through a loud speaker, telling us not to move from our position, and saying that another chopper would be back in three hours to pick us up. It flew around some more, I guess documenting our exact location before it moved away.

It was intense. I can’t describe the feeling we got from seeing this helicopter seeing us. We hugged, and laughed, and knew that we’d be ok. We were all totally blown away. In the time we were waiting, we were pretty quiet. I don’t remember much about it, apart from saying that I was going to email the girl who sold me the tent we strung up in the trees, an ex-JET called Alison. We got some more emails from the people who’d been involved in finding us. We called and emailed various people to let them know we were found. We basked in the feeling. We laughed. We marveled, and shook our heads a million times. We wondered how much it’d all cost, and whether we’d need to pay for it. Still, to me at least, it didn’t feel like it was actually happening.

Some two hours later, we got the call saying the helicopter was coming early, and we were to get ready. We packed up all our stuff, and set about straining our ears for the slightest sound. There it was. A big white chopper, with winching equipment attached to it flew into view. It was on the wrong side of the valley to start, but we did our crazy dance again, and when it turned round, it saw us. Now it started to feel real. We were about to be WINCHED off a mountain into a HELICOPTER. Isn’t that the maddest thing ever? My tummy was up somewhere near my throat at the realisation that I, as the only female in the group, would be first to go. Two men in orange jump suits came whizzing down the wire, and sure enough, clipped me in first. Then I was off the ground, with an orange-clad dude clipped in underneath me, flying high above the green abyss. If my nerves hadn’t been so totally shredded, then I think it’s an experience I would have enjoyed. Said nerves, however, were in tatters, so I simply held on tight, and kept my eyes mostly shut. I looked round long enough to ascertain that we were, indeed, in the arsehole of beyond; nothing to see apart from trees and sky, and a distinctive looking landslide we had spied, which probably did a better job of getting us found than our ‘directions’.

Our rescue crew was wonderful, very kind men who didn’t look at us like we were the stupid kids we were, but simply asked us if we were ok, and kept grinning at us, giving us thumbs up. At one point, as we were waiting for Nate to be winched in, they said they wanted to leave our bags behind. I must have looked pretty stricken (that would have really been bad; the amount of borrowed equipment that we had, not to mention the loss of all the important gubbins in our wallets, plus our cameras) because they decided to bring them up as well. Kagawa Air Rescue, I bow down to you.

A short, bumpy ride later, we were back on the ground in Saijo city, where we were met by a fire crew (?) and three supremely kind police officers, two of whom spoke English. After they took our statements, we got into the car, and were dropped off at Saijo bus station to take a bus back to where we had left the car. The whole thing was over so quickly… from being picked up off the mountain to being dropped off at the station took less than an hour. I felt sure we would have been taken to hospital for a once-over, or at the very least taken to the police station to give proper statements. Nope. After a 45 minute bus ride, we were back at the car, and met by Nate’s Board of Education Supervisor. That’s when the enormity of what we had done hit us. We were going to have to bow down low, make lots of apologies, eat lots of humble pie.

I didn’t think that the experienced had had a hugely negative effect on my mind… however, without the slightest trace of melodrama, on the way home in the car, I was looking at trees in a very different light. I had trouble dropping off to sleep, my mind kept on floating back to the forest, and I had the oddest sensation of fighting my way through trees again, of feeling rotten wood cracking under my feet, threatening to send me bouncing back down the mountainside. I think I still feel a bit unsettled, but as time goes on, it feels like it was a dream.

I spent yesterday (Tuesday) morning being frog marched around various offices at the Board of Education by my Kocho-sensei, making many apologies to the people I’d worried (the entire BoE, it would seem). I had to stand up and apologise to the staff of the school in the morning meeting (who I swear had vicariously enjoyed my adventure). Kocho drove all the way to Matsuyama to talk to the police there (not sure why he had to go all that way, the operation was based out of Saijo). It wasn’t a fun day. I spoke to Dad on MSN, he laughed at me, I just cried a bit. I cancelled eikaiwa last night, washed my clothes, started writing this.

Not sure how to wrap the story up. Yes I am. I made a playlist for our car trips to and from the moutain. It’s a pretty generic playlist. But one of the songs was one I discovered about a month ago, and it has been crying out for some sort of context to attach it firmly to my soul. Well, now it has one. It’s called ‘Teen Angst’ and it’s by M83. Another song on the list is called ‘Oh My Corazon’ by Tim Burgess. We listened to this one the way home, Nate commenting that it seemed very appropriate for the situation. I couldn’t agree more. The picture is us after the first chopper found us.

Memento Mori

2006-05-29T03:14:00.000+01:00

Well, maybe that's a little too dramatic of a title, but I certainly did get a reminder of my impending departure from Miyoshi. My successor's name. And only her name. They won't tell me anything else yet. Which is kind of ok with me. I just had a lovely weekend, and I'm not ready to gush details of my town to someone else quite yet. :)

Joe came round Friday night, and we cooked a superb pasta dish. I think it could have used more sauce, but it was yummy all the same. Then we watched The Crow, and I got a big natsukashii feeling in my tummy, and remembered how into all that Gothic crap I was. Before Gothic became cool. Good film. Glad I'm not 16 anymore. Who'd be that age? Seriously....

On Saturday, I bought Mika lunch then waded shin deep in the most glorious mud ever in order to plant a few, erm, plants? of rice. What does one call that? A sheaf of rice? A bunch of rice? I have no idea. Whatever. I planted a few, in bare feet, back all bent. The mud was the best feeling I've ever had between my toes. Hope that Japanese B Encephalytis vaccine still has some punch, though I suspect not... Then I went to an Awa Odori meeting, and didn't follow most of what was going on, but I have been neglecting the ren, I feel, so it was good I went. Things are just stupid crazy at the minute, and it's hard for me to get to all the practices.

Then I came home, and watched Bad Santa (so funny!), and Nate came knocking at my door needing a place to stay, so we chatted about our trip next week, and watched the film.

On Sunday, we got up at 11.30 (great sleep), and then I spent the day watching The Notebook (and cried unashamedly at it), and sleeping some more, and walking a bit, and watching it get dark from my balcony with a cold beer in my hand. It was a nice weekend spent in town, being quiet and not getting crazy. The next load of weekend will be far from that!

A Year on AJET

2006-05-25T08:13:00.000+01:00

It's DONE. I am through, more or less. My life is pretty much my own again. A love you, AJETters of 2005-2006. What a crew. I can't sum them up in words (I've been trying for the last three days, and there's too much I could say.　So I shall simply let my pictures (actually a lot of them are Christian's) do the talking. You guys rock my socks, I love you all!

Typhoon Numer 1 and Other Stories

2006-05-18T03:50:00.000+01:00

So yeah, Typhoon Chanchu is currently showing the poor people of China the back of its hand. Down here on Shikoku, we were caught in the fingers of the storm, and had a lot of rain all day long yesterday. We're still rather cloudy today, but it looks like it's going to blow itself out before it hits us. I sort of like typhoons. I hope I get a big mother of one before I leave here to give me a lasting impression...

In other news, I got beaten up by a three year old boy on Tuesday. But he was cute as a bean, so I resited the urge to hit him back. Yuuki has started at Higashiyama's nursery school. He has a gammy leg, so he walks and runs with a limp. He's a a tyke, though. He ran towards where I was sitting on the floor the other day with a big slavery smile on his face, and squealing "Errriiiii!", and when he got to me, gave me a cuff round the jaw. It was pretty sore, but he giggled so much, as did everyone else, so I just poked him in the belly, which made him laugh all the more. Bless.

I had one of those lovely walks the other day, between my house and the Daimaru, where practically every car that passed me had someone in it I knew, and who waved to me. I had the 'Cheers' theme tune running through my head.

Neto-kun and I are off camping in two weeks time. We're going to hike and camp Mount Ishizuchi, the tallest mountain on Shikoku, and the tallest in Western Japan. I am so looking forward to it, but I think it'll be hard. On Nate's advice, I have started running everyday, just a short way to begin with. It feels good, and I am fitter than I thought I was, which is encouraging. I am looking forward to getting up into the mountains, it SO LONG since I topped out! I only hope with weather will be fine.

But this weekend is the biggie in Tokyo: my last AJET meeting. And I won't pretend I'm not looking forward to handing all this over. When this is done, it'll allow me to concentrate on packing up, CV writing, looking for a job, and all that sort of crap. But I'll miss the crew tremendously. There are so many good people on the AJET council, and I have had a lot of fun with them, particularly at the Tokyo Orientations.

Speaking of AJET, it's time to finally bid goodbye to my baby, the Team Taught Pizza. I am now well into the process of handing the beast over to its next nuturer, a person who goes by the name PJ. He sounds well up for his challenge (I certainly hope he is), and I think he'll do a grand job. He has much more experience than I did when I took over, so I have no worries at all.

The Japanese have just passed a law that will make it compulsory for all foreigners to be finger printed on entering the country. They're worried about a threat from terrorists. Well... in my memory, Japan has only been attacked by terrorists once in recent years... and that was by one of their own kind! But no. The gaijin (how I hate that word) must be watched. We are dangerous, dontcha know? I sort of like being dangerous. Sometimes I get eyed up in the street, like I might pounce any minute, and kidnap the next cute little chibi-chan that walks past me. Other times, I know these people are just curious about me. What a mental country this is.

I want to eat pizza. I wonder if there's a Pizza Hut in Kabuki-cho. Maybe slotted between the pachinko parlour and the Russian-staffed soapland. Yummy.

A Very Mixed Bag

2006-05-11T01:18:00.000+01:00

I have been in this country for the best part of three years now. It's had it's ups and down, and I generally have a healthy love-hate relationship with the place. More often than not, it's hate, but I think that's more for my job than actual society and culture.

Yesterday I had one of the saddest moments I've ever experienced here. I have started teaching regularly at nearby Hiruma elementary school. This is the largest school in the town, yet they never got regular ALT classes until this April. As such, a lot of the kids don't know me. I was sitting in the staff room yesterday waiting for my class to begin, and girl came in. She would be in the third or fourth grade, so she wasn't a total baby. She saw me and stopped dead. I said 'hello' as I usually do to all kids who stare at me. She jumped a MILE into the air, said, in Japanese, that I was really scary, and ran out of the room. Well. That went well. Most kids in town, whether I teach them or not, have seen me. Most would say hello, or konnichiwa back to me. This girl didn't know where to look. That's the first time that's ever happened to me. It would have been fun if this girl had smiled, or given some hint that she had seen me before, or had some sort of twinkle in her eye. But she didn't. Ugh.

Things like yesterday make me want to take the collective Japanese population and shake some sense into them. The level of their insularity in this day and age is staggering and frustrating. I think I have given up on trying to internationalise them. The task has become tedious and repetitive. I remember my friends who were going home last summer felt this way as well. I am worn out in this job, bored to tears. I don't regret for a second staying three years. But it's time. And it's time that is causing me problems.

I am stuck between a rock and a hard place these days... I have so many things planned that I am looking forward to (frisbee, camping, visiting Kochi, rafting etc...), and yet they are all in the future. The faster they come, the faster going home comes as well. I am so ready to be finished this damn job, and be out of this damn country for a while. I am not ready to say goodbye to all these people. I guess that's why I'm coming back. I am such an odd mix of feelings these days. I am happy to be finishing, but so unhappy to be leaving. I keep meeting all these wonderful people, and I know that I would love to spend a significant amount of time with all of them. But time is pretty much up. I don't know how to balance myself out. I feel like I'm bobbing along with little control over my life. Which is nonsense, I have total control. I am dying for something to change, but afraid because I know what form that change will take. I need some sleep.

The River Wild-ish

2006-05-08T02:03:00.000+01:00

Well, Jillsty arrived on Monday night! And how! It was so wonderful to see them, and be able to show them around. They have arrived right at the start of the good weather: our temperatures now are the very highest that Scotland would see in summer.

After a couple of days kicking it around Miyoshi, we jumped in our funky-ass hire car on Thursday morning, and headed for Iya. At Oboke, we met James, who generously offered us his car and chauffeuring skills for the day (accepted!), and got on the road proper. As expected, Iya was crawling with tourists who couldn’t drive (bloody Kagawans!), but no matter. We arrived at the remote Okuiya vine bridges, and spent a happy 45 minutes playing on them and chewing the fat. After a nice lunch where James and I introduced Jillsty to some more traditional Japanese cuisine, we hopped up to Chiiori to pick someone up, and then hit the onsen. Jillsty LOVED the onsen, although being Golden Week and Iya’s Hikyonoyuu, it was pretty busy. After the onsen, we headed to Happy Raft, struck camp, had some BBQ, went for walks, and finally crashed about 2am. It was a really fun day. I learned about Australia’s political system, listened to Van Halen’s ‘Jump’, which immediately made me feel like I was 5 and dancing with Dad, and had my hiccups cured by listening to people debate abortion.

On Friday, it was time, once again, to climb into our rafts and take on the Yoshinogawa. As always, it was a total blast. Although Jill had a nasty fall while climbing up a rock she had intended to jump off. She gave herself a bad knock on the elbow, enough to send her back to base for the rest of the day. Her new name is Rockfall. The day once again reinforced my intention to do some time on the river before I find myself a ‘career’. The river wasn’t as big as I’d have hoped for, but I think that for first timers in our crew, it was quite big enough. It was a beautiful sunny day, though, and we all got the sun rather a lot.

Saturday and Sunday saw us three in Kyoto taking in the sights. This was my third time in the city, and I think I saw more this time than I have ever done before. I enjoyed myself a lot, but we were all really tired. Going to the city is a lot of fun. But when I get off the bus in Miyoshi, smell the heavy wet air, and hear all the frogs and insects, I know that I really belong in the country.

Back at school today, longing to be outside, in the mountains or on the river with friends. Jillsty heading up to Tokyo today, giving me a chance to tidy the apartment up, and gather my thoughts a little. I feel like I haven’t stopped for a week. Which is pretty accurate really.

I have pictures to post, but they aren’t ready yet.

How Green Is My Valley

2006-04-28T07:28:00.000+01:00

Wow, barely one month ago, Mum and Dad were here. It was the height of the sakura season, but the mountains were still a very wintry, dead shade of brown. Now, 4 weeks later, and the trees have burst into life, covering the slopes with more shades of green than I can count. Bee-yoo-tee-ful! It's so fresh and full of life, and makes me feel really optimistic.

It's been a busy wee week here in Tokkers. Report writing galore has gone on. I've been emotional, Nate and I had fun falling out online, I've played more poker, I've taught classes. I am really tired, but I feel like I'm at least doing stuff. Dave was at Jordan's on Wednesday night, it's so lovely to be able to see him through the week again! He beat me at poker though...

Have been getting on really well with Noda-sensei now... I think that he is now my preferred team-teacher. I don't know, he and Tame-chan are both so different, but I feel like both me and the kids get out of the lessons I teach with Noda.

Right now, the senseis are at the annual gun teacher meeting, and I am hanging at school with Usuki-san (who just did a major operation on my crappy bike), and Hori-san. I am listening to Radio 1 from home online, not knowing any of the music they are playing, and waiting til 4pm, when I can go home, walk in the sun, and wait for the lads to come round for.... more poker. Sorry Mummy!

Rested

2006-04-24T02:13:00.000+01:00

Mmmm, it's so delicious to have a weekend in sometime, all to myself. Almost all.

I started off on Friday by ordering a massive pizza (what was I THINKING?!), and then hitting the onsen with Nate and The Deer. The they came back to my house, and we played poker. The aces were LOVING me that night, and I had some great hands, much to the frustration of the boys (Nacho eventually giving in and calling me a bitch). Jordan crashed and burned after a while, I had all his money, but he insisted he wanted to watch me and Nate (play cards!). So we had some intenese one-on-one (poker!). The outcome was that all the money I took from Jordan, I gave to Nate, and lost about Y150 of my own. Not bad. If I had stopped along with The Deer, I would have been well up.

On Saturday, I met Jordan and Saori for lunch, before raiding the Kings Road, and then walking home from Mikamo in the pouring rain. I had my Walkman on, playing the Prodigy LOUD, and had a lovely hour to myself. Hmm, but my knee hurts like a bitch, not sure what's wrong with it. That happens when I walk a lot, I can feel things grinding, it's not good.

The films I rented this weekend were as follows:
Ocean's 12
Hitch
Closer
Before Sunset

With the exception of the first one, all of these films had to do with relationships in some way (not that I am totally in need of living vicariously through films, it just sort of happened that way). Hitch was total Hollywood fluff, and made me laugh. Good film. Closer just made me sad and unhopeful, and made me wonder why anyone would get into a relationship that could get as destructive as that. But I guess you don't know it's going to get destructive. it made me think twice about wanting a relationship, though. Then Before Sunset is sort of a bridge between the two. It's a beautiful film, I love it, it has an unsatsifying ending, that is a sort of test as to whether you're a cynic or a romantic (die-hard romantic here!), but it went some way to repairing the damage done by Closer.

I dunno... I always thought of myself as someone who is really self-reliant, I like to think that I'll always be able to make my way by myself. And I think I will. But I need people around me, and I need to be able to trust them. Closer is a representation of relationship hell. It's bleak. It's a well-made film, but it really made me sad. People say that life is never like the films. Let's hope not.

Lindsay left us on Friday morning. She was a bit messy, I hear. I will be too. Now we have Chalice. Interesting gal. She's a hit with the gunnies already. She'll fit right in. But we misses Lindsay! You hear that?! We do, y'know! Send us a postcard from Togo!

This week, I am... rested. I am busy. I am scared about returning home, it's something that I think about on a daily basis. While I am relishing the thought of a new job, I fall to pieces at the thought of the goodbyes I'll have to make. Mm. AJET is in high gear. I cannot wait to get shot of that whole thing. I have to start packing up the house. Jillsty touch down in a week. Holy crap!

Gotta go. Love to you!

One out of ten ain't bad!

2006-04-17T01:11:00.000+01:00

Another full weekend of sports, and I am wiped out. Next weekend is my first unplanned weekend since... February. I intend to vegetate and do some serious sleeping.

BUT, all the tiredness is worth it! This weekend was the third annual AJET Games Touch Rugby Tournament here in Tokushima, and it was the biggest yet! Over 200 people from all over the southern half of Japan came out for it, and I think they all had a blast. I do hope so! The weather certainly could have been kinder, it was somewhat cold and rather windy (windburn abounds on the faces of all ALTs this morning!), but I think that spirits were high enough to negate the less than ideal weather.

My own team, Touch n' Go, pretty much sucked at the game. Most of the team had never played before the weekend, and our inexperience was quickly picked up on by our first opponents, the Gaijin Ninja, from Hyogo. It was something of a baptism of fire, though, the Ninja are probably the best amateur touch team in southern Japan. Nevermind. We finished the first day having won not one single match on our pool. Damn!

Saturday night saw me on duty as BBQ organiser, and I am so grateful for all the help I got. I had never been in charge of something as huge as this, so I was really worried that people would get pissed because of lack of organisation, lack of food or whatever. But Ron (who organised and bought all the food, as well as planned the actual process) was on hand to help out, and the people I had recruited to help me out (namely the Gaijin Ninja, Okayama's Grapes of Wrath, and of course Touch n' Go) were absolutely wonderful at just getting on with it. I'm especially grateful to the Ninja: so laid back, nothing was a problem, they just did it, even though they were paying guests.

AJET babes Froilan and Jessie came from Kumamoto and Kyoto respectively to help and hang out, and it was great to see them. Also got to know a lovely Kochi bloke by the name of James a bit better. He was part of the Kochi frisbee crew last weekend, and then came to play rugger this weekend. Actually, a few of the frisbee people were here for rugby, it was great to see all of them again. Also met up with a girl from Shimane (whose name escapes me!) who had lived in Scotland for a long while. We met last year, and chatted a bit, and did the same this year.

Play finished mid afternoon on Sunday. Touch n Go surprised ourselves by actually winning a match, and having to play an extra match on Sunday. We damn near won that as well, but lost on handicap points (points awarded for tries scored by girls). We had fun on Sunday: we'd picked up the game, and knew much better what to do with the ball when we got it. I don't think the kids want to play regularly, though, which is a shame, but I guess it's not a sport for everyone.

After a spot of dinner and an onsen last night, I finally got home. Sadly, the mayor's election headquarters are behind my house (he's running for prefectural governement) and it was results night or something, so the place was packed with shouting and cheering supporters til nearer midnight. Meh.

Back to school this week: some classes to teach, but mostly the timetable is still out of sorts, as it is for the most part of this term. Am now organising a rafting trip with Happy Raft in Golden week, and hoping it will be something of a block event. Jill and Kirsty will be here then, and Dave will be guiding by that time, so it should be a good time of it.

Ok... am going to go and work out how to get my ass to Australia now. Yee haa!

Big, Fat, Purple Lip

2006-04-10T02:00:00.000+01:00

There are few things I like better than getting together with friends in good weather and spending the day outdoors playing sports of some sort. This week I have had the opportunity to do that twice. Yee haa!

On Tuesday, Mum, Dad, Mika and I made the drive from Miyoshi to Otoyo-cho, just over the border in Kochi-ken. There we met up with Dave and his brother Michael, along with Happy Raft owner Mark, and off we went on a quick trip down the river. I had been a little worried about how the parents would like the relatively extreme sport of rafting, but they seemed to have a great time, especially Dad. The water was a bit low, so the normally huge waves seemed a little small to me, although for the first timers in the boat, I suspect they were more than large enough! I also got swept out the raft a quite early on in the day, which was unexpected, but I guess that’s rafting for you.

Mum and Dad left Tokushima for home on Wednesday. Unfortunately, something went wrong with their flights, and they were stranded in Amsterdam for 24 hours. I suppose there are worse cities to be stuck in, but when you’re trying to get home from a two week trip to the Far East, unscheduled stops in Europe are the last things you want. Although their visit tired me out completely, and although I was looking forward to having my room to myself again, it’s always sad to wave goodbye to them. I think now they understand why I have stayed in this crazy country for so long, and that was an important outcome of their trip for me. So while it’s good to be able to walk around naked again, and listen to whatever music I like, there’s a lot to be said for having someone there when you come home half-cut from an enkai, wanting to talk about saving the world. Yup.

No real rest for the wicked, however. After a couple of days at school catching up on work (and playing Uno with a cool kid called Haruki, the seven-year-old son of one of the new teachers), it was Friday afternoon all over again, and I was hauling ass back to Ikeda for Lindsay’s farewell hanami party. She couldn’t have asked for a better night, really. It was warm and clear, and the trees were simply beautiful. Check out the picture of the gang giving me their best peace signs. I wish I could have stayed longer, but I was subject to what Nate was doing, since I was crashing at his house that night. So about 7.30pm, we bid the party goodbye, and made our way home to Nate’s. Soon after we got there, we were joined by Anya and Kelly, and proceeded to spend the night playing some Dance Dance Revolution (I have never, ever witnessed anything like what Nate was doing that night), talking about the theory of teaching, sex, and functional penises. Oh, and of course the obligatory snuggling.

Saturday saw us on the road to neighbouring Kochi-ken bright and early. My second chance to be outdoors this week came in the shape of the first All-Shikoku Ultimate Frisbee tournament in Sakawa-cho. We had an awesome time! It wasn’t a hugely attended event, but the small number (I think about 30-35) meant that we could actually have proper conversations with people, and make some cool new friends. Chris, the organizer (I guess you could call me the promoter, as I was able to publicise it island-wide through AJET) is a hardcore Ultimate player, and we listened in disbelief as he casually announced a schedule of hour-long games. Yikes! Play we did, however, and I am happy to say that I was in the winning team of the morning. The afternoon saw the format change slightly, but it was just as good fun and exhausting. During the day, I took not one, but two frisbees to the face. The first one, I ran straight into, and have a bit of a red mark where the disk caught me on the jaw. The second one was much more painful: it caught me right on the upper lip and I had to sub off to get an ice pack, and spill the tears that the blow had brought to my eyes. Damn, it hurt! Today, then, I am sporting a slightly swollen purple upper lip. Nice.

There was a BBQ on Saturday at a mountaintop clutch of bungalows Chris had managed to secure. It was a prime location, and the mood was right for really having some good chat, but I was so shattered from the day’s play and the late night on Friday that I hit the sack not long after 10pm.

On Sunday, we were supposed to have a second day of frisbee, and I think I might have actually managed to play, but the others were adamant that there was no way they were up for a second day. So that was that. Maybe just as well, I was, and still am, pretty sore, and we did have a ways to drive home. No matter. Plans are afoot for a second tournament sometime later in the summer, perhaps in Tokushima.

Two of my favourite smells in the summer, and two that I got to smell during the course of events in this entry: the smell of wet neoprene, and the smell of my skin after a day in the sun playing frisbee or rugby- sort of dirt and sweat mixed in with sun lotion. I love the smell of wet neoprene because it reminds me of days spent on the beach or on the river with good mates. Mark loves it too. I like the smell of my skin, because it reminds me of good exercise that doesn’t feel like exercise because you are having such an awesome, sociable time doing it.

The sports aren’t over yet: this coming weekend sees the third annual All-Japan Touch Rugby Tournament in nearby Mima-cho. 250 people from all over the country coming to our wee ken! It’ll be a lot of hard work, but I’m really looking forward to it.

So much to do. So little time left. Life’s good, yo.

On Being a Parent

2006-04-03T07:47:00.001+01:00

Well, not really, you understand. But these last couple of weeks, I feel like I have actually had a couple of knowledge-thirsty kids trailing along in my wake, since Mum and Dad touched down on Japan's shores in late March!

Not that I grudge all the questions at all. It's been an interesting role reversal, me having to explain a different way of life to them, having to read restaurant menus to them, having to teach them how to enter a house properly, how to draw money out of the bank... I've loved having them here, and I'm glad they've been able to meet all the people who are so important to me out here, and see all the places that I hold dear to my heart. We still have one big day of action left in us, we're rafting tomorrow with Dave and his brother Michael, which I am psyched about, and then it'll be time to wave them goodbye on Wednesday afternoon. The holiday has gone at breakneck pace, and I feel like another holiday, but it's been a grand way to spend my last sakura season in Japan. I think they have enjoyes themselves too, but I rather doubt they'll be dabbling in Japanese cookery when they get back home... not quite to their taste!

I also have my parent's blessing to pursue further studies in Australia after my Japan dream comes to an end. It's not like I HAD to have them give me the ok, but their being happy with what I do with my life is important to me, so I'm glad that they are comfortable with some of the decisions I have made since I last saw them at Christmas.

I haven't time for much else at the moment. I have a lot to say, though, so I may write a longer more in-depth post in a few days. For now, I have an enkai to go to tonight, and then hitting up the river tomorrow! Yee haa!

Kirsty, thanks for the comment, sweetie, love ya loads!

That's a Wrap!

2006-03-20T00:56:00.000Z

The 2006 AJET Tokushima Musical finally finished its five-show run on Saturday night in Wakimachi.

Tradtionally, the last show is always in Wakimachi at an old Kabuki theatre called the Odeonza. It's a beautiful theatre, all wood, no seats, just zabuton cushions to sit on. It's very small, and the audience is really close to the stage, so it's quite an intimate venue. The show on Saturday was absolutely PACKED, and the audience were great. They laughed at all the right places, and at the end, donated an amazing amount of money for next year's effort. We had a great time, and they seemed to aswell. JET Programme sceptics would do well to get themselves along to a JET musical performance. You really see what an ALT means to their community at these events. One ALT named Evan had a quite a few people in the audience, and you could see how proud and excited they were that their ALT was up there in lights. I don't care what people say: someone who can touch their community in this way is worth every yennie.

After the party, the cast and crew retired to a mountaintop clutch of bungalows to have a well-earned party. We didn't start til nearer midnight, as it took a good while to get packed up, and drive out to the bunglows. We chatted and laughed til the wee small hours, did a good amount of snuggling, and a good amount of body-slamming. The tech crew, namely me, Hannah and Nick, also gave out awards to the entire cast, and those seemed to go down well.

My parents arrive on Friday. My house is still only half clean. Man. I really need some time to do nothing but sit and vegetate. This term has felt, since day one, like a sprint-to-finish. It's been a lot of fun, for sure, but I need a holiday! I am really looking forward to the olds coming though. It'll be great for them to meet all the people I've been raving about for 2.5 years, for them to see my town, where I work, and hopefully understand why I couldn't have left after only a year or two.

The party on Saturday night reminded me, cliched as this is, how important my friends are to me. Two of my closest friends weren't there, snowboarding in Hokkaido, and getting chased by police in Kobe, as they were, but there were people there on Saturday that are very close to me, and I realised that very soon, we'll be saying goodbye. I mean, who is going to replace Joe, Joe who likes sleeping in closets, Joe who only says "fuck" when he's drunk, Joe who is the most honest, unpretentious person I've ever met?

Last week was a crazy week in terms of learning about the people I hold dear to me in this country. No matter how close you feel to someone, they will always have the ability to surprise you, to shock and upset you, to make you angry beyond belief, and to make you fall in love with them all over again. All of that happened with me last week, and I was left reeling for it, feeling like I knew these people, yet didn't know them, all at the same time. I felt close to them, and felt far away from them. And this both confused me and made me smile. There's a lot to be said for "what you see is what you get" people. But there's something addictive and endearing about people who keep you guessing. I wonder if these are the people who have the ability to hurt you most, and to be hurt the most.

Unlike a friend at the moment who is feeling homesick for people at home, I am struggling to accept the fact that I am going home. I have changed so much. I found a letter I wrote to Katja in the autumn of my first year, but never sent, and freaked myself right out when I read it. Is the girl who wrote that letter really me? It speaks of a worry that time is too short for me to do all I want to do, it speaks of a longing for the womb-like confines of academia, and there is a definite thread of homesickess all the way through. Now, I realise that I will not be able to do it all. I don't want to. I don't want to spend my life with my head in books. I know who I am, I know where I want to be, what I want to do, and who I want to do it with. I have gained perspective. What I wonder about now is do I have the guts to chase after it?

Bye Bye Babies

2006-03-15T00:59:00.000Z

After a couple of snowy days at the beginning of this week, I am hoping that we have truly seen the last of the winter weather. The sakura are scheduled to bloom in this part of the country on March 26th, which is Sunday week. Come on, warm weather! Show us some love!

Luckily, the warm weather did indeed make an appearance last Saturday, which meant my kiddies could graduate under a blazing blue sky. As I have said, this particular graduation was special to me: these kids are the ones who have been with me since the beginning, and while I was not relishing the thought of waving goodbye, I was happy that I was able to be there for such a milestone in their young lives. Tears spilled, yearbooks signed, many pictures taken. It was a bittersweet day, I feel like now I have truly started the long list of goodbyes I'll need to say before I leave this country. Check out the pictures: me and the girls basketball team, who were some of the brightest and friendliest kids in the year, and me with Akiko, who is a girl who always spoke to me.

As is tradition, I spent the evening of the graduation in a smoky room with about 50 drunk parents, and 20 drunk-ish teachers. Good food, good chat, lots of beer and sake. Yeah, I had a blast! I even made it along to Awa Odori practice afterwards! But then I wound my way home to my empty apartment, and wished there was someone there to talk to. And then did my usual rounds of terrorising special people with daft emails and phonecalls.

Sunday was another musical day, and it was a lot of fun. Some of my friends and students came out to see the show, and I'm told that they really enjoyed it, so that makes it all worthwhile. Only one more show left to go!

I spent Monday lying on my couch under a pile of blankets watching a movie called 'Bandits' (Nate D: it's ok, good ending), and FINALLY after ALL THESE MONTHS I completed my 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' odyssey. Phew!

It's all go this week, what with preparing for the impending arrival of my parents , trying to start the handover of National AJET business, preparing for the BBQ I need to organise at the upcoming Touch Rugby tournament, and trying to get the frisbee tournament underway. But today, while I am planning on doing something on all those little projects, I am also planning to show my co-workers some TLC, and bake them some shortbread this afternoon.

I need a haircut, new make-up and about 24 hours of sleep.

Peter Pan: 2 down, 3 to go.

2006-03-06T02:18:00.000Z

I am pretty beat today. It has been a busy and very fun weekend. This week, I have not one single class at the JHS, but I'm hoping I have a full quota of three elementary classes to keep me from going totally mad.

I had been pestering people to do something on Friday night, and it looked like some of us would be in for more karaoke, but it was not to be. So I left school Friday afternoon with the prosepect of spending the evening alone, which I HATE doing on a Friday. Found myself in the freezer section of the local (tiny) supermarket, seeing nothing I wanted to eat worthy of a Friday night, and felt sooo depressed. Not a major depression just a "aww man, it's FRIDAY, why the freak doesn't Nate want to go boarding? Why is Julie sick? Why does this supermarket not stock pizza?!". Wound my way home, tidied the hovel a bit, and ate my frozen ebi-gratin type thing.

Was watching the superb "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrells" when Dave called to say he'd be round in an hour. Yeah! Company! Spent the latter part of the evening drinking cheap wine, talking on the phone with our friend Linda, and generally having a good Friday night.

Saturday and Sunday saw me out in eastern part of Tokushima prefecture for the first two shows of the AJET musical. This year, we had chosen to perform 'Peter Pan', tweaking the story slightly so that it was relevant in some way to Japan. For example, the crocodile was replaced by a giant mukade (poisonous centipede). The shows themselves seemed to go really well, with minimal screw-ups (though we did have two people falling off the stage on Sunday!). It's a gruelling three weeks of perfomances. I will be missing next week's Saturday show, due to my school's graduation, which I'm sad about, but this is a special graduation.

I spent Saturday night at Amber's house, along with Bessie, Julia and Nikki, a friend of Amber's from Kobe. We had a relaxing night eating pizza (steer clear of Pizza Hut's Salmon Grande, or whatever it's called. Yuk!), drinking some drinks, and chilling out. I love hanging out with Bessie. She's totally laid back, and I always feel like it's summer when she's around... I have no idea why, I think it has something to do with her habit of wearing a sarong and sandals in winter, and with the reggae-type beats that are always blasting from her car! :)

So today, I am sitting chatting to various people online, digesting and re-living some nice events of the weekend in my head, and planning (always planning) the Holiday of the Parents. Feeling a bit sleepy too.... busy time of it!

Cleaner Extraordinaire!

2006-03-03T00:33:00.000Z

Ok, so my predictions in my post yesterday? BS! I went home. Felt bored. Slept. Felt cold. Ate udon. The went mad cleaning! Here's what I blitzed:

-The hall cupboard- ususally never opened except to wrestle the hoover from it, and to shake my head at what might be in there.

- The hall in general

- The shower room

-The bathroom floor

-The hob

Wow. What an effort. And on a school night too!

三寒四温

2006-03-02T04:14:00.000Z

This is a Japanese proverb to describe the schizophrenic weather that always accompanies the month of March. It reads 'san kan shi on' meaning 'three days cold, four days warm'. And that's more or less what you get in March.

At the end of February, the uninitiated could be forgiven for thinking that winter was all over bar the shouting. It was getting milder. Breath inside the house wasn't quiten as visible as it had been. The fridge was actually clicking on. And then today, we wake up to... snow. At least on the mountains. I gather from the mountain men that Mother Nature did indeed crap more of the fluffy stuff all over them last night. Seeing as how this is my third winter over here, I am accustomed to suck fickle behaviour. It'll be over soon. Then... HANAMI!

I feel like I am a resevoir of untapped energy today. I am feeling... pent up. I am feeling... ready for action. Ready for a change. Something new. A new country. New challenges. I am sitting at my desk, and I feel like I am stagnating. I am so over being an ALT. I am not over living in this town, or living with these people. But I am over this country. I can't explain this in any eloquent way.

I want to do something. I want to interact with people face-to-face. I have become a web chat monkey. And it's fun. It passes the time. But I yearn for something a bit more than that! Web chat is evil. It is addictive. It's easier to be honest when you are hiding behind a computer screen. That's no way for human civilisation to be.

I wonder why it is that people need alcohol, or a computer screen before they feel comfortable being honest. Maybe that's too much of a sweeping statement. I know people who are perfectly relaxed with revealing thoughts and feelings without either of these aides. Personally, it depends on who I am with. If I see someone else ill at ease with revelations, then I don't go in for it. If someone opens up to me easily, then I guess I do too. I am rambling. I think this is probably the same for most people. See, this is what I am now. I have thoughts that turn out to be nothing new, nothing original. I am becoming stale. My mind is not sharp enough. Aaaargh. I hate to be bored. And I know that I have the resources right here to not be bored. But idleness breeds idleness. I want to go home tonight and clean my house. In reality, I will go home, wash the dishes, perhaps make an attempt to organise a cupboard, and then I will sit and watch some mindless DVD, or something. Not because I am lazy. But because I am exhausted from doing nothing.

直島

2006-02-27T04:07:00.000Z

On Friday night, I had what may have been one of the best karaoke sessions ever! We'd gone to the Miyoshi-gun English teacher's enkai, which in itself was a blast. When that finished, the ALTs decided to head to local karaoke house, Chantez, for some crooning. Oh my, we had such a laugh. We went mad, and by the end of it, my voice had really gone. Check out Tamezane-sensei's face in the corner of the picture of Nate and me (we're singing 'Perfect Drug' by Nine Inch Nails, a song I wouldn't recommend for karaoke!)

Saturday was a musical rehearsal, and it's good to see it all being pulled together like this! It was a long day, though, lots of standing around waiting for things to happen. That night Noam came back to mine to crash. We had a blast, drinking a LOT and talking a LOT. The musical is great in that way, because it allows you to meet a lot of people who you might not otherwise see so often, as they live miles from you. Noam is a great guy, and if we lived closer together, I'm sure we'd hang out a lot. But he lives in the south, me in the west. Such is life.

However, I somewhat regretted the late night (actually, early morning 2.30am), when at 6am my alarm went off! I was picked up at 7am by my friends Hanna and Kunihiro, as we were taking a day trip to Naoshima. Naoshima is an island off the northern coast of Shikoku, and takes about an hour to get to on the ferry from Takamatsu city. I tried to keep my eyes open, but I simply couldn't and ended up fast asleep on the ferry. Guilty feelings for the lovely people I was supposed to be bright eyed and bushy tailed for. However, on arriving at our destination, I soon perked up.

Naoshima is famous for its art galleries. It has three of them, and we were heading to two on Sunday. The first was called Bennesse House, and it is a contemporary art museum, with exhibitions that change every so often. I was excited to be in an art gallery again, it feels like a long time! Some of the exhibits totally blew me away. I won't even try to describe them, I won't do them justice, and taking pictures was a big no-no. But suffice to say that I was very content indeed to be wandering around in such a great space, appreciating all that I saw.

The second gallery of the day has a name that I forget. I was a bit reluctant to head here, as it had an admission charge of Y2000 (about £10), which I thought a bit steep. Well... I have never been as retrospectively happy to part with a tenner. This place was unreal. I think it might be one of the best galleries I have ever been to. Again, some of it is simply inexplicable. But there was the Monet room that I'll tell you about.

You leave your shoes outside, and step into an unlit, white room. The floor is laid with unpolished marble cubes, with rounded corners. It's a beautiful floor, and I just wanted to lie on it and float away. On the walls are three Monet originals, all coming from his work at Giverny. The thing with this room is that it is lit only with natural light from above, so that you can appreciate the paintings in something like the sort of light that Monet painted them in in the first place. The soft white of the room, the floor, these amazing pictures, the quiet... I felt an ambience in the atmosphere that made me never want to leave. What an experience.

We caught the ferry back to Takamatsu about 2.30pm (and this time we all dozed, tired bunnies we were). On the way home, we stopped off at the Shinto shrine where Hanna and Kuni got married. I'll admit, I was less than eager to do this. It had been a long day, communicating in broken English and Japanese, and I was more than ready to call time, and head home. But once again, I was really glad we stopped.

神谷神社 (Kamidani Shrine) is the oldest Shinto shrine on record in Japan. It's a beautifully serene place, set back from the road, surrounded by forest. The priest is a personal friend of Hanna and Kuni's, and so gave us a guided tour of the place. It was really interesting, and I felt honoured to have been given such treatment. I also found out the answer to a question that has been on my brain for some time now: the little pebbles that people throw on top of torii gates at Shinto shrines mean NOTHING. There is no religious significance in doing this whatsoever. What a stupid practice, then. Cause it's damn near impossible to get them up there, and you can spend hours trying.

So that was the weekend. And it was good. I have very good friends, I am a lucky person.

This week is one full of changes. Firstly, yesterday I had my last lesson with my third-graders. These are the special kids: the ones who have been with me since the beginning of my time in Japan. They gave me a lovely send off that had me bubbling at the front of class. I am going to miss these kids something chronic.

Also, yesterday was Miyoshi-cho's last day on Earth. Today, we merged with Mikamo-cho across the river to become Higashi-Miyoshi-Cho. What a mouthful! Changes indeed.

Sake and Naked Men

2006-02-20T04:25:00.000Z

Yosh! What a crazy, almost-brilliant weekend that was.

Friday: Joe, Amber and Teralynn came over to my place for some pizza, films and serious snuggling. Just take a look at the snuggling! Piles and piles of futons and blankets… aaaah! Hard to believe, but Amber and Teralynn had never seen The Goonies before, so we gave them something of an education, as well as watching a crazy-fun looking snowboard race on the Olympics, and apparently annoying my neighbour with lots of noise. Oh dear.

Saturday: Up at the very respectable hour of 10am, and then off to Ikeda for the annual sake festival. For the humble sum of Y1000, you get to go around all the breweries in Ikeda, and sample all the sake they have on offer. For the sake-lover, it’s a treat. For someone like me who likes the stuff, but not enough to drink it regularly, it’s a good chance to go and get very sociable with the locals, who are all drunk, and think you are wonderful. I came away with a small bottle of what they called ‘champagne sake’, which is a young sake, slightly sparkly, and nice and sweet. Something happened to my bottle over the rest of the weekend, though, and I think that most of the fizz may have gone out of it. Hmm.

After the sake festival, a bunch of us jumped on a train to go to Okayama’s annual Naked Man festival. It’s an ancient festival, to do with machoism, masochism (takes place in mid-February, in the middle of the night, and involves cold water, and pain) and virility. For the girls and wimpier guys, it’s an excuse to appreciate the true value of clothes, and their cold-repelling properties. Actually, we just stand around watching the guys run around nearly-naked, getting progressively colder, until midnight, when there’s a brief tussle for a couple of sacred sticks thrown into the crowd by the temple priests, and then it’s all over. It’s a pretty violent affair: two thousand men scrabbling over two little sticks of wood, and not surprisingly, there are some quite serious injuries that occur every year. Thankfully, our boys returned to us more or less in tact, if somewhat dazed and amazed at what they had just put themselves through. Nate flopped down beside me on the bus after the festival, looking drunk and tired, and declared it had been the most harrowing experience he’d ever been through, and that his life had flashed before his eyes. He’s going to get quoted in Ehime’s ‘Mikan’ newspaper for that!

After the nakedness, we trooped back to Okayama proper for the after-party thrown by Okayama AJET. And I ran smack into Stu. Someone had told him I was in town, and we met up at the party. It was… interesting. I had actually been hoping to see him, but it made me a bit sad, really. We didn’t get to talk properly, the place was mobbed and noisy. But he looks great, and still makes me laugh. Man. Trying not to dwell, but it actually put a dampener on the whole weekend… Not cause it was BAD to see him, you understand. Just cause.

Sunday was spent in a couple of cafes, eating great bagels, drinking buckets of coffee, and just shooting the crap for a while. Back in Miyoshi by 3pm. There was a house fire here yesterday, and a man died, so that was a pretty sobering end to the weekend.

Mind is pretty busy now, digesting and thinking about a lot of things. Also reading a book called ‘Naked Economics’. It’s a very interesting read, and really puts the world into perspective. Currently listening to a bunch of new music procured from the likes of Amber and Nate. Highlights include Neutral Milk Hotel, Loop and ‘Fevers and Mirrors’ by Bright Eyes.

Ouch!

2006-02-12T23:55:00.000Z

I had my first glimpse of the upcoming AJET Musical (Peter Pan) on Saturday there. It looks great! For all the stressing he's done over it, Joe is really bringing this thing together. it's mosr of a true musical than in previous years, with the actors actually bursting into song on occasion. I'm involved as the props manager, so it's important for me to get along to a few rehearsals to see how it's all fitting together. Nice work, crew!

Saturday night saw the first Minoda-ren practice of the new season. Predictably, hardly anyone showed up, but I really enjoyed myself. It feels like it's been ages since I last danced, and watching Dave at the kaikan last week (which was great!) really gave me a shot of enthusiasm to get stuck into it again. I hope Mum and Dad get to see a show when they come, though I'm not sure we'll be performing that early in the year...

On Sunday, me, Dave, and fellow Brit Nick all piled into Teralynn's car to make the drive to Ehime's Ishizuchi-san ski slope. It was an early rise, we were anticipating about 2.5 hours on the road, but it ended up being much quicker than that. Ishizuchi is Shikoku's highest mountain, but the ski gelende is still pretty short. Granted, it's bigger than the local slope at Kainayama, but still, but the end of the day, I felt like a yo-yo. That's not to say I didn't have a good time! On the contrary. The snow was in nice condition, the weather was pretty damn good, and the slopes, although short, were steep and fast, and of sufficient difficulty to make me think that I may have improved just a little when the day was over. And since I hadn't really seen Dave properly in a few weeks, it was nice to have a good chat. At one point, Dave got a bit over-excited about getting up the slope as quickly as possible, and took on the characteristics of a dog chasing a car as he tried to catch a ride on the chairlift. Nuff said, you had to be there!

Home in the early evening, with a splitting headache due to hitting my head on a fall. Didn't feel much like dinner , or moving, or breathing (it was that sore), so I curled up on my bed. Nate came by briefly to drop off some stuff I'd left at his, and tell me about what sounded like a great weekend at Daisen, and then I had a shower, and went to bed by 9pm. Slept like a log. And hurt all over today. Sure sign of good times!

Want to write more, but have a class to prepare (a Monday class, people!!). Will write more later in the week. Oh, check out the Lost Kids in rehearsal, and Dave on the slopes.

Winter's not over yet....

2006-02-05T23:50:00.000Z

No indeed. After a week of unseasonably warm weather, we have been thrust back into the snowy depths of winter proper. Chitter. But it feels better somehow. Warm weather in winter is a bit strange. I prefer snow and snuggling.

I had a really nice weekend. It didn't involve as much sleep as I'd hoped, but who needs sleep when you have good company?

-Friday: top day at work. Clever kids, happy teachers, good atmosphere in staffroom (not always the case). Got home. Put on some music very loud, and danced around my room. Nate came and picked me up, drove to Kitamjima singing a song about broccoli. Played poker. Bad cards. Counted out before I lost too much. Sit and watch the others play, feeling pretty choked with the cold. Down to Amber's to crash. Love Actually. Massages. Cool music. Tracy and Brittany. Scary looking humanoid rabbits (or rabbitoid humans?). 4am bed.

-Saturday: haircut. Love Keiji! Caught the eye of his Beautiful Assistant, and thought about asking his name, but chickened out. He has a nice smile, and hair to make you weep. Walked for an hour in search of Cafe Bugaku. Walked passed it. Twice. Finally arrived. Nate studied. I read the Economist. Mango latte, huge doorstop piece of cheesecake. Up to Dave's Taco Stand. Actually had a taco. Back in car. Drive back west. Snow falling. Want to drink wine. Feel crap with the cold. Pop into Minoda-ren enkai, make my apologies, chat to Shige. Up to Higashiiya. Scary roads, drove slowly. Had wine.

-Sunday: took Sean and Aki to Ikeda station (Sean's jaw is getting unscrewed today in a Tokushima Hospital). Breakfast at Autobahn. Bad hot beverages and music, but nice staff, and free ocha. Home. Shower. Hoover. Buffy. Sleep. Kick-ass dinner of salmon, hijiki, and fried peppers, leeks and mushies. Feel a bit better. More Buffy. More sleep.

Sean is an artist living and working with his girlfriend in Higashiiya. He is a very gifted lampmaker, and his work is amazing. He just finished a piece that Nate commissioned from him, and I'm thinking of asking him to do one for me, as it's a wonderful thing to be able to take home. Mum would love these lamps, I think. A couple of the lamps that Nate has are pictured. The tall rectangular one is the commissioned piece.

This week looks set to be busy. Dinner tonight with Hanna and Kuni. Eikawia tomorrow. Possible free night on Wednesday, but could possibly see some mates. Off to the city on Thursday to watch Dave dance at the Awa Odori Kaikan (museum). He's dancing as one of the leaders, so I want to see him do his thing. In April, he's moving back west to become a rafting guide for Happy Raft. No more JET. No more Tensui-ren. He'll still be a ways away from me, and it'll probably be even harder to see him at weekends, given that's when he'll have most work to do. But I am psyched that he's coming back. He seems to be too, and that's the most important thing. :)

AJET also has cranked into high gear, what with meetings, reports and elections. Nate (that's local Nate) has decided to run for my job, along with a couple of others from other prefectures, while our very own Christian is going for Chair. GO CHRISTIAN! I hope he gets it. He'd make a great chair, he'll just charm everyone to get what he wants. ;)

Who Needs Torino?

2006-01-31T04:57:00.000Z

A weekend of fun in the snow! I have just come back from an awesome three-day weekend, the sort of weekend that makes me wonder if I shouldn't do a fourth year out here (chill, Family, it won't happen).

On Saturday, I was picked up by shiny, happy Teralynn in her kocho-sensei car, and headed for the slopes of Kainayama for a spot of boarding. We had a grand old time, chatting away, comparing snow stories, shooting down the tiny gelendes, and marvelling at how warm it was. At about 4pm, we called it a day, and prepared to embark on the long drive to Higashiiya, where we were spending the night before the frolicks of Sunday. Saturday night was a good time: about 11 people eventually turned up at Nate's, and we chatted until the wee small hours, making ourselves a team flag, and generally chilling out proper.

Team flag? That's right, Sunday was the Yukigassen, which you may recall I wrote about a couple of weeks back. The All-Shikoku Snowball Fight Tournament was a total ball. We did much better than we thought we would, and were knocked out only after a desperate tie-break. We went down in a blaze of glory. If I write about all the details of the tourny, it'll be boring, so I'll just say that I haven't had that much good clean fun for a long time. We were a team, we did our best, we didn't quite conquer, but we had a damn good try. After the tourny, we ate, onsenned, drove down to Mikamo, ate some more. Then Nate came back to mine, we had a beer, watched a Buffy, then became unconscious as the fatigue of the day caught up with us. Nate especially: he was our team captain, and it had been a very physical and mental day for him. I think 'happily frazzled' is how I'd describe his demenour at 11pm on Sunday.

We both had the day off on Monday, and had decided to use it to go boarding. Being so drained, it was late morning before we finally got on the road. The snow was pretty rubbish, and the weather left a lot to be desired as well. Nevertheless, we had a lot of fun hanging out. We called it a day about 3pm, heading back to mine to sleep some more, before Nate headed to Ikeda to meet a friend for dinner, and I got down to some laundry and lesson planning.

The weekend relaxed me so much, and I had such a lot of fun. I wish this was life, but it isn't. My one low point was when some people were talking about what they'd do about "next year's tournament", and I had one of those horrible little lurches in my stomach because I know I won't be here.

AJET mad season is upon us. I have an inbox full of correspondence, and a forum full of new posts to digest. I love all this craziness. It feels like I'm doing something, and I'm part of something. Life's pretty damn good.

Infruenza

2006-01-25T04:23:00.000Z

The Japanese and flu. It's a love/hate relationship, for sure. One that annoys the hell out of me more than Jordan cracking his knuckles.

Japanese people think that sickness is a direct result of cold weather. And while I am not for a moment suggesting that ill health has NOTHING to do with the winter, winter is certainly not a prime cause.

Every winter, usually in the 6 weeks or so after the holiday, kids and teachers can be seen wearing surgical masks. Many kid will be off school with 'infruenza'. Let's explore these two very Japanese phenomena...

MASKS: People wear surgical masks in the belief that it will protect them, to some degree, from flu bugs floating around in the air. Perhaps these would do SOME good if they were used at all consistently. But you regularly see noses poking over the tops of masks (NEWSFLASH: your nasal passage leads to your oral passage that leads to your lungs!!), teachers take masks off to explain things in class, and people put masks on half way through the day when SURELY, if they were going to catch something, they'd already be doomed? Silly.

INFLUENZA: If you've ever had flu, then you'll know how debilitating it is. You are bedridden. You hurt. You wheeze. You live for the next dose of whatever drugs you're on. You are off work for two weeks. You don't get it every year. Proper flu happens only every few years, if you're that unlucky. In Japan, what they call influenza is more like a heavy dose of the common cold. Kids stay off school for a week or less. Maybe they have a slight temperature. And they get it year after year. This is NOT the flu, or at least no full-blown flu! It's a bad cold. It's not something you need to go to hospital to diagnose. You need a Lemsip and a day in bed to sweat it out.

And then I asked one of my friends if she's play tennis on Thursday. And her answer was that if she wasn't sick, then maybe she would. But tennis is dangerous in winter, because of the cold. WTF?! Sorry, but that is pure tattle.

I love this country, but sometimes their reasoning is just so wrong! Especially in health matters.

The pictures are: what Joe looks like with a flu-like illness called Between Party and Hangover, and Jane, cause she's cute, she's dressed in winter clothes, and I don't have a picture of a good-looking, fluey girl. Sorry Giuseppe. I did look.

Gie her a haggis!!

2006-01-23T00:22:00.000Z

What a busy week it was! Just the way I like it. On Thursday and Friday, we had the mid-year seminar in the city, which was a nice change of scenery from school, and it was good to see everyone in the same place, but it was a bit yawnsome. Spent Thursday night at Dave's, eating Italian food, and watching some film called 'Sahara', which is a Boys Own Adventure, brought into the 21st Century. Very watchable fluff.

Saturday afternoon was spent mostly at the Woody Rest, talking to owners Setsuko and Nobu, and in the Marunaka, shopping for Burns. It's a big job, getting ready to throw a party for 45 people, so I enlisted the help of Dave and his car, and I simply couldn't have done it without that help!

Everything was finally ready, and I had wrestled the haggis from it's tin, all ready to zap in the 'wave, but NO-ONE was there! I had about eight of my expected 45 revellers at 6.30pm, half an hour after the party was scheduled to start. Eek. By 7.30, most people had arrived, so we FINALLY got the show on the road.

As is tradition, we kicked of proceedings with a rendition of 'Address to a Haggis' by Burns. I am the only Scot in the ken this year, and I didn't much relish the thought of having to hack my way through eight stanzas of Broad Scots on my own. So Chris and Dave (American and Australian repectively), two mates with a healthy dose of Scottishness coarsing through their veins, stepped up to the challenge, and we read the poem between us. The boys' effort was great, and I think it may possibly have been the best reading of the poem in my time here.

After that, it was down to eating (excellent food, hardly any sushi or deli food in sight!), and sharing more poems, and songs. Highlights included Katie doing the opener to Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' with a torch under her chin, Joe in his Utilikilt doing some horribly verbose nonsense he found on the net (and hamming it up to perfection), Dan doing 'Yellow Submarine' in Spanish, Nate doing 'The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock' in it's entirety, Dave's funny, smarmy definitive limericks, and all the Miyoshi-gunners doing another round of '500 Miles' a la the Xmas Carol Tour. There wasn't much Burns going round (maybe another one or two after our Haggis effort), but that was ok, as Burns is pretty hard to understand, and hard to read as well.

The haggis itself went down immensly well. People actually really liked the stuff, and my worries of having to throw most of it away went unfounded. I don't think the tradition of eating it with Ritz crackers will catch on, but I think I've done well to promote Scotland's national dish in the foreign market! :)

It was a pretty early night for me: I'd had a long day, the beer was affecting me quite fast, and since I had to be the first up the following morning, I called it a night around midnight. The party went on til 5am, I'm told.

Everything was cleared up on Sunday without much hassle, and then people wound their way to the onsen to soak away hangovers. I was told from some folks that it was the best JET event they'd ever been to, so that made me happy. Personally, I think I hit a peak with it last year. It went perfectly last year, and had very definable stages of eating, poetry, drinking, then bed. This year, it was sort of jumbled up, and it was certainly more drunken than it's been before, but that's not neccesarily a bad thing. The main thing was that people had fun, and they certainly seemed to.

Sunday was beginning to look anticlimatic, which I was dreading, but a few emails saw me eating lunch in a nice restaurant with Nate and a very sleepy Joe. Joe and I then drove to his place (going to Iya was NOT in the plan this weekend, but however...) curled up under the kotatsu, ate a lot of chocolate, watched a lot of Azumanga ("Nani......... kore?"), and slept a little. Joined by Nate a few hours later, we played a geeky board game of some sort, before Joe gallantly drove me home, a round trip of about 2 and a bit hours for him.

So here we are at Monday again, and I have things to do. Have a good week, hope you are all well!

雪合戦の練習

2006-01-15T23:48:00.000Z

The title reads 'Yukigassen no renshuu', which means 'Snowball fighting practice'. That's right, on Sunday, the かっちんこっちんイングリシュティーチャーズ (Kacchin-kocchin Ingurishu Teechaz, or Frozen Solid English Teachers), had their (our) first practice at this surprisingly complex sport.

When you think of snowball fighting, you think of powdery fields of white stuff, people with rosy cheeks, woollen hats and scarves, and innocent giggles, throwing handfulls of soft snow at each other. Not so in Japan. This competitive game has been refined here into a game of strategy, strength, accuracy and team work. Snowballs are shaped using regulation moulds, so that each ball is near-perfectly spherical, and all the same size. And they're bloody hard, being the sort of consistency that would land you in the head teacher's office at home if you were caught throwing one at someone. To minimise death and other nasty injuries, helmets are provided (since heads are fair game), but it can still hurt if you get sconed on an unprotected area! Since this was our first practice, we got a royal ass-kicking from the kids and teachers of one little Higashiiya elementary school, but a lot was learned and a lot of fun was had. I can't throw for beans, but I intend on doing some target practice this week!

After that, I went to hang out at Hannah's with Joe and Nate, and we watched a film called 'The Island'. Surprisingly good, and people like Ian Wilmut would do well to watch it before they start mucking around with human nucleai and rabbit eggs.

Nate and I had a good conversation over dinner: it's surprising how voicing one's thoughts to another actually reinforces them in one's own mind. He spoke about how, growing up in the church, certain things were simply off limits, no questions asked. Then, when he got to forming his own opinions, he did a lot that went against all that teaching, and how now, he is sort of coming back to something of a happy medium (but really, is there such a thing?). And it sort of made me realise that for the longest time, I have followed a very normal path. I went to school, got good marks, had a slightly weird episode involving a love of scissors and Nine Inch Nails, went to a world-class Uni, did some experimentation (but nothing that could really be called hedonistic), graduated, left the country for a few years... None of that is in any way special, or extraordinary. Not that I want to be special. But neither do I want to be sucked into a life where things are a given. I think Mum and Dad expect that this stint in Japan will get the travel bug out of my system: that I'll have had my three years of fun after Uni, and that when I finish in August, I'll be ready to go home, get a career job, and 'settle down'.

And it's just not the way I'm thinking at the moment. It sort of scares me: part of me, I think, would like to be the sort of person who has a very ordinary 9-5 life, with a couple of weeks somewhere sunny in the summer. Another part of me, which is bigger and louder, wants something a bit more than that. Looking round my dinner table last night, I was sitting with Americans, Canadians and New Zealanders. I love my community. I love the way it allows us to learn from eachother, and swap stories. It's hard for me to say all these things without sounding obnoxious, but I really feel that this three years has thrown my mind wide open in a way that simply wouldn't happen at home. Edinburgh is a great, cosmopolitan, international city. But I never felt part of an international community the way I do here.

That's not to say that I wish this was a permanent set-up. It simply can't be, not for me anyway, if I want to do anything else apart from this job. Which I do. Some people have made it their life. And that's great, if that's what you see yourself as. But not me. I DO want to have a career. I think what I'm trying to say is that I want to do things in my own sweet way, in my own sweet time. At the moment, I simply don't see myself living in Edinburgh, with the job, and the flat and the endless days. I am enjoying life too much. Perhaps living here has given me a skewed perspective of reality: people who come here are generally the kind of people who like to get things DONE. We are organisers, debaters, idealisers, thinkers. We are, I guess, over-achievers, and our way of life here nurtures that. Is it like that elsewhere? Or is this some sort of utopian society, where the lawyers, economists, teachers and politicians of tomorrow come to stew in the juices of other cultures, to learn, expand and bulk up their CVs, before heading back to the real world, to try their best to influence their own societies?

Maybe I'm reading too much into it. Maybe The Zutons have it right.

BUFFY!

2006-01-12T02:55:00.000Z

So Joe, kind soul that he is, lent me his entire collection of 'Buffy' at the end of last year. He had seasns three to seven on DVD. I got into Buffy as a result of being forced to watch it in my first student flat. But I sort of got out of it again when I came here. I missed a lot.

Joe warned me that Buffy would start to rule my life. I laughed. He was right. I am now hooked on Buffy til I can get all the DVDs finished. A sad state of affairs indeed.

In other news... it's a beautiful day here in Miyoshi. The sun is shining, it's brass monkeys, kids are happy, teachers are overworked... aah! At the moment, I am enjoying listening to The Go! Team's 'Thunder, Lightning, Strike' album, which I just know Nate and Joe will love. I got some news from Dave the other day which made me really happy and excited (more later). People are looking forward to the Burns' night, and I simply can't wait. I hope it snows for it! Rinjii, bless her cotton tabi, got a job with the Peace Corps in Togo in Africa, and will be leaving our fair gun come June, I believe. Will miss her heaps. But a girl that works with Dad is interested in the job, so fingers crossed there.

This year is all about change, and while I normally abhorr change, cause it's not so often you're a huge part of it, I have no choice this year but to embrace it. I've no doubt that it will be bittersweet, but hopefully with more emphasis on the sweet.

Life is good, and it's so nice to sit down and write that.

There and Back Again

2006-01-10T04:23:00.000Z

Have been home, and since returned. And it was good, mostly. My perspective of home has changed. I'm not sure in what way, except that it has. I caught up with a good load of people, and got a good load off my troubled mind. With the result that I have returned to this home feeling more or less relaxed, happy, and optimistic. Hmm, except some major life-changing decisions are in the works, and I'm pretty sure it'll be a fraught time, the next few months or so.

Nothing huge to write about, except that I love my friends and family to bits, and wish they were slightly smaller so that they could accompany me in my suitcase wherever I may go. But that might be preceived as a wee bit selfish.

2006 will be huge. No two ways about it. I am ready. Bring it on!

PS> Especially for Joe, who complaineth that my entry is too small: a picture of a beautiful Northern Irish lass cavorting on the rocks at the Giant's Causeway.

"...like a soccer mom on crack"

2005-12-18T23:30:00.000Z

Ah good God! What a busy weekend, and I am horribly underprepared for going home!

On Friday, I was supposed to be going night boarding with Nate, but it fell through cause the skijo was closed. :( So me, Nate and Joe went to dinner. Nate and Joe ate tempura garlic cloves (smelly!). Hung at Lindsay's for a wee while, then Joe and I went back to mine. Watched Buffy. Slept. Woke up, felt cold, room smelled like garlic. Went to city. Read musical script with a bunch of people.

Came back mid afternoon, met by Nate at train station, and BOARDED! What an epic. We left Miyoshi at 4.30pm totally fired up, thinking we'd arrive nice and early, eat our conbini dinner in the car, and be on the slopes promptly by 6.30pm, when the night session starts. HA!

The trouble started about halfway up the mountain, when we ran into the back of a queue of cars, all stopped for no apparent reason. We got out, and managed to pick up that the ski bus was coming down from the day session, and we had to pull off the road to let it past. Ok. We pulled off the road... and got stuck in the snow! We were in a teeny weeny k-plate car, and hadn't put chains on yet. So we needed a push to get started again.

Not 10 minutes later, we ran into ANOTHER line of stopped cars. Again, out we got, and it seemed another bus was coming down. Ok. We figured we'd put the chains on this time. We silently cursed the huge 4x4 monsters, and their smug drivers as they pulled away from us, and set about wrestling the chains onto the front wheels. Well, Nate wrestled. I held the torch. :) The bus came down the hill, and we waved to it as it passed. Probably the filthiest, most suprised looks either of us had ever received from Japanese people. Chains on, we were good to go!

Now we were second in a line of cars, ahead of us a Ford pickup, which looked like it could handle anything. Not so, it would seem. It looked like the car had no snow tyres or chains on (suicide on this crazy-ass road). Time and again, we would start to go up a bit of an incline, and time and again, we would see the back wheels of this beast spinning furiously, while the front ones refused to budge. Tsk. Back wheel drive. (Nate taught me about the difference between front and back wheel drive while we were sat waiting, so I feel quite justified to tsk) Nate finally got fed up with this, and at the next hill, got out to see what was up. When he got out, the drivers behind followed his lead, and between them, they managed to get the pickup up the hill. By this time, it was getting late, and we were getting rather impatient to still be stuck out on the road.

Yet again, though, the Ford struggled at the next hill. We watched incredulously as the driver tried and tried to gun it over an icy pothole, and failed time and again. Once again, the other drivers got out. This time it was game over. Nate reported that the concensus was that the truck should pull off and let everyone pass. They had been "voted off the island". Hee hee! Nate got in, put the car in drive... and we listened in disbelief to the unmistakable sound of tyres spinning without finding traction. Nate eased, off, tried again. Nothing. WTF?? We've got chains! We've got snow tyres! What's the deal here?! We looked at eachother, horrified at the thought that WE had become the roadhogs, holding everyone else up. We tried again, and this time I heard a different noise. The noise of a "soccer mom on crack".

Let me describe this concept to you. In the UK, we have PTA parents. You know the type. They stay in the Wimpies, they drive Rovers or Vauxhalls. Their children are named Sarah or Kevin. They like to push their kids. They help out at the school sale, or disco, or play. In the US, they have soccer moms. Moms who drive huge station wagons, whose sons are on sports teams (soccer) and who go to every game, screaming their little darlings on. They're probably on the PTA too. I bet they have names like Joyce. Or Shelley. Or Bree (Desperate Housewives, anyone?).

Well, Nate's strategy for getting his tin can of a car moving again was to scream at it like, well, a soccer mom on crack. It's ear shattering. "COME ON BABY, COME ON BABY, BABY YEAH, WOOO HOOOOO, COME ON BABY, ALLLLLRIIIIIGHT, WOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!". And you know what? It worked. The car found the bite, and we edged forward. Awww yeah! Let's hear it for the soccer mom (that's him showing off his ski wear)! We edged past the stuck truck, and I got a look at the occupants: two girls, looking far from happy. Bloody Kagawans. They should stay in Kagawa. Safely on the road again, albeit with a severe case of tinnitus, we made good progress up the mountian. We rounded a bend, and were confronted by what can only be described as a pile of snow boulders. I actually thought at this point that we had been defeated, but Nate found his inner soccer mom again, and the car shuddered sort of over and around the obstacle.

By this time, it was past 7pm, so the order of the day was "Screw the food, find a toilet, and get on the slopes!". Which we did. I had an excellent first board of the season, and for a near-first timer, Nate is a fantastic boarder. We had one unfortunate incident, where my board got wedged where the sun don't shine (that would be Nate's, not mine), while his board decided to beat my elbow up, but apart from that, we were beautiful. I even managed to do a wee jump, which felt good. Haven't really hung out with Nate for a while, so it was nice to chat away with him while having tonnes of fun.

Tired, somewhat sore, but very happy, we called it a night just before 10pm. Sadly, the mountain hadn't finished with us, and not five minutes after we took the chains off, we had a bit of a bump. Nothing serious: I have a wonderful purple knee today, and the headlight casing of the car got smashed, but we were otherwise fine. Except that the car was a lender whilst Nate's own car was being fixed after a crash earlier this week. Eek.

It was snowing heavily even down in town. On the drive home, I saw a lady walking in the snow, lit by the sodium yellow glow of a streetlight. I was reminded of one night years ago. I think it was Christmas Eve. Me, mum and dad were still up, late into the night, and we had switched off all the lights apart from the Christmas treee lights. We had opened the window blinds, and were watching a blizzard outside. I remember seeing a family from down the street, bundled up against the weather, on their way home from the church watch night service. I just have this one image of their forms, and the only light being the street lamp they were walking under, and I remember feeling so safe and warm and happy inside, sitting beside Dad, watching the crazy weather. I'm going home on Thursday. :)

White stuff baby!

2005-12-16T00:45:00.000Z

Awww yeah! I'm going boarding tonight! Woo hoo! I am so psyched about this!

Heading up with young Nate (other Nate, not AJET Nate for obvious reasons) after school, and, providing we can get his wee lender car up the mountain (had a crash the other week, the Suzuki is in the shop), we'll be whizzing down the hill by 6.30pm or so. Bring it on!

I have to go to elementary school like now, but I am reluctant to leave, as it is snowing something chronic outside. Here is a picture, but you really can't see how hard the snow is coming down. This is my sports ground at school. Normally the mountains are right there, but you can't see them today. Chilly!

See ya!

AJET Superstars!

2005-12-14T01:02:00.000Z

Four days in Tokyo really takes it out of you! But I had a good time, seeing all the AJET crew, some of whom I haven't seen since May. So much happened during the weekend, here are bullet form highlights, cause this entry would be ridiculously long otherwise:

- Waking up on Saturday morning to a view of the Tokyo skyscrapers, edged with trees still in beautiful autumnal colours was awesome.

- We found a great place for dinner on Saturday, Y2100 for tabe/nomihoudai (10 pounds all you can eat/drink). We could pour our own beer too! Tip: never let a Jamaican named Kevin pour you a beer: you'll end with with more head on it than if a Japaese person had poured it!

- Spent the later part of Saturday night fooling around in Nate and Michael's room. Nate is such a star, I wish he stayed closer to me! At one point, I took off my bra (under my jumper!), as the wire was digging in. Poor Michael didn't know where to look! Then Nate wrote PEN15 on my arm... I wanted to be cool, but I didn't realise til it was too late.... Oh well! It was Nate who wrote, and Nate is inherently cool, and he's my darling on the council, so it was ok. :)

-Spent much of Sunday asking various people where my bra was, which was amusing.

-Threw a fit on Sunday night over stupid accommodation arrangements, so we trooped across town to where Steve and Yih had stayed before. Not fun.

- Had to change accommodation AGAIN on Monday night, but at least this place had free porn, so me, Susan and Jamie spent a productive hour evaluating various performances.

-Christian decided to grace me with his presence on Monday night, the result being that I got NO sleep, as he snores like a mofo, and that the entire night was an exercise in balance, as Christian spread himself over the entire bed, granting me only a small space at the edge. Christian is a big bloke, kicking him to get him to move feels like, and has the result of, kicking a brick wall. The result being that I woke up feeling like I'd never even gone to bed.

- Gave good presentations for the CLAIR/MEXT folk, went out drinking with them afterwards, made lots of inroads, felt sad that so many JETs think CLAIR does dick for them. Simply isn't true! Some of the nicest, most hard-working people I've met in this country!

-Home last night to freezing temperatures and steady snowfall. Woke this morning missing my AJET buds, but looking forward to my trip home. And it's a snow day: no classes!

Pictures: Some of our crew, in no real order: Nate on the far left, Jamie, Froilan, me, Jessie, Mia, Kevin and Alex in the corner. Then Yih and Jamie strike some poses for us. Then there is a view from one of the windows on the 19th floor of Shinkasumigaseki, the buliding that houses CLAIR. You can JUST make out Fuji-san in the background. It's a very rare event indeed these days to see Fuji from smog-clogged Tokyo.

Muppet Weekend

2005-12-08T05:07:00.000Z

Ah, tough life this! I'm off to Tokyo tomorrow for an AJET/CLAIR/MEXT meeting. The Tokyo bit in itself is not the best: Tokyo's great, but it does begin to, well, grate after a while. But I AM pumped about seeing my fellow AJET Muppets. Specially those I spent the two crazy weeks with in Tokyo this summer. Good kids. Muppets cause a) I love them like you love the Muppets and b) cause we are in the middle of a big screw-up, and one might hold us responsible like you might hold Miss Piggy responsible for squishing Kermit. But it'll get sorted. I'm hoping to get in a game of poker with them over the weekend.

I've just been reading the Xanga blog of a friend who left this summer. I didn't know Joe very well, he came over the same time as me, but we always moved in different circles. But whenever I met him, he was such a nice guy, genuinley interested in what you had to say, and was just a really top bloke. Isn't it funny who you miss? He seems to be doing well at home. In fact, all the people I am in touch with who left last summer seem to be doing well! Heather landed a great job, and seems so happy and content, Sarah has a plan of action, Jane is working (and worrying) her socks off as per usual, Dubs has got a job relevant to Japan, and all the other people who left Japan are equally well-engaged, it seems. It's encouraging! There's hope yet!

Closer to home, we are still stuck in some autumn-winter black hole. It's cold as hell, it's been snowing, and yet the leaves are not leaving the trees (you can almost hear them sing "We shall not be moved"). Odd, but in a nice way. It's quite a beautiful transition.

Current music: An album by Ozo Matli, a Latin - Hip-hop fusion outfit. They are cool, and my favourite rapper, Tuna Fish from J5, does vocals. Think I'll copy this one for Tim, the sort of stuff he likes, I think. :)

Decking the Halls

2005-12-05T00:43:00.000Z

We took ourselves up to Higashiiya on Thursday night, to Nate’s house. On Friday, we were going on our annual Miyoshi-gun Junior High School Christmas Carol Tour, starting as ever with the furthest-flung school (H.Iya). Thursday night, however, was a night for relaxing and catching up with some people that I haven’t seen for a long time.

Nate’s had a lovely cosy atmosphere. He has just bought two lamps from Sean, an American lamp-maker who lives locally. The lamps are beautiful, to me they’re quite maternal in theme, and the light they gave off was somewhat womb-like. Anyway, ten of us crowded into the only heated room in Nate’s house, and chatted, had some drinks, sang some songs, and generally chilled out. It was a really nice night, and if I hadn’t received the last ever email from Stu just before we got there, I would have had a lovely time. Said email arrived, however, and I spent much of the night swallowing lumps in my throat, and blinking back tears from my eyes. But I’m not going to write about that anymore, because now it’s over. However sad that is, and it is, it’s time again put him in a part of my mind that’s warm and safe, but seldom visited. (Really, how can someone who was in my life for such a short time have such a de-stabilising effect on me?)

On Friday, we were up not-so-bright, but very early, and after an excellent breakfast of eggs with peppers and onion, and Danish toast (Nate’s a wonderful host), we were on our way, decked out variously in reindeer antlers, Santa suits and ‘capelets’, and tinsel. My tinsel lasted til the third school, Yamashiro, before some girls decided it was the coolest thing ever, and relieved me of it. Oh well!

It was a cold day, and just before our lunch stop, the heavens opened. After lunch, we went to a school in nearby Hashikura, which is for kids with physical and mental disabilities. It was the first time ALTs had gone there to sing carols, and I’m really glad we did. The kids seemed to really enjoy the spectacle, and I think the teachers were happy we’d gone too. Not long after, it was the Miyoshi kids’ turn for some fun. Everyone probably thinks that their own students were the genkiest and cutest, and most charming, but I am proud to say that my ones were for sure up there in the top two or three schools for welcoming us, and getting right into the mood. In my opinion. But I think lots of people would agree with me!

I was worried, because we were told to sing inside as a result of the rain, and I thought it might dull the mood. The whole school came down to the assembly area, and we got up on the wee podium in front. Lots of my 3rd grade girls were shouting for me, and waving at me. I shouted good afternoon, and then asked That Question: “How are you doing today?”, and the ENTIRE SCHOOL, all 250 or so students, yelled back “I’M FINE THANK YOU, AND YOU?” . All at the same time, perfect unison. It was a beautiful moment, and all I could do was just grin madly and stick my thumbs up at them (cheesy!). My babies. We then proceeded to rock the house, and the best part was when a rendition of ‘Deck the Halls’ turned into ‘1000 Miles’ by The Proclaimers. We sang the ‘last’ song, and started to leave. Then the first whispers of ‘encor-u’ (encore in Katakana English) began. I pretended to not here them, and cupped my hand to my ear in an effort to better understand them. Soon the entire student body was screaming “ENCOR-U!”, and I finally said “Oh, right, I get it!”. And we went again. Before we headed off to the next school, my lovely Kocho-sensei showed us into his office where we were served hot chocolate and crisps, and then we were off. I love my students! It was the best atmosphere we’ve ever had at Miyoshi, and I needn’t have worried about a dull mood!

After we had finished the tour, we were all done in, but I was in an ‘all back to mine’ sort of mood, so that is indeed what we did. Had a good game of poker, ate some yummy pizza, and huddled under my kotatsu. I was pretty tired, however, and felt fairly snappy, which I felt bad about.

On Sunday I went to sit a Japanese test. But the less said about that the better. The me and Joe and Lindsay came back to mine, swathed ourselves in blankets, watched the excellent 'Labyrinth' and ate (more) pizza. And it snowed, so it was COLD.

I am very much looking forward to bidding 2005 farewell. It’s had some incredible highs, and some horrific lows, and it has made me feel tired and old. I actually think I have some bona-fide wrinkles now! Anyway, the New Year will herald a new… well, year. A new start. Time to get focused, get the last bit of childishness out of me and be happy. Looking forward to it.

If you love something....

2005-12-01T05:26:00.000Z

...give it away.

What they don't tell you, is the second part of this little life-tip. "After you've given it away, your heart will feel like it's been ripped from it's chest, because now you are without the thought that nursed you to sleep at night, and woke you up with it's possibilites the next morning".

If you walk away I walk away
first tell me which road you will take
I don't want to risk our paths crossing somday
so you walk that way I'll walk this way

We made love on the living room floor
with the noise in the background from a televised war
And in the deafening pleasure I thought I heard someone say
"If we walk away,they’ll walk away"

BRIGHT EYES

珍しいのクタス

2005-12-01T04:13:00.000Z

This is my new cactus. It's a rare (or mezurashii) cactus, apparently. Because it has yellow flowers. His name (yes, it's a he) is Hans. He came from Kagawa. His seller is a lovely older German bloke, who speaks wonderful Japanese, and a smattering of English. Each year this gent comes around our schools to sell the plants he grows. I didn't buy any last year, because I had no cash on me at the time. But this year, I wanted to buy a plant because plants are good for the soul, and because this German is such a nice man. He said that soon he would return to Germany to see his 93 year old mother, because he wanted to look into her eyes. I also decided on a slightly more expensive cactus because to sell a plant to me is usually a death sentence for the plant, and I want this one to have a fighting chance. It only needs watered once a week. I think my sunflower from ren-cho lasted all of two days. I shally try harder, with Hans, my German cactus.

AaaaCHOOO!

2005-11-28T04:35:00.000Z

Man. I have the sneezes goodstyle today. I thank Dave for that. He was sniffing and sneezing all over the place this weekend, and I think his allergies (for that's what it is, not a cold) have rubbed off on me. Or maybe, just maybe, it's because he sneezed all over me in the middle of the night on Saturday. Forgot I was lying beside his bed, and sneezed in my general direction. Nice.

It's cold here today. Nothing like the cold at home, I gather, but cold enough for me to wish the kerosene stoves were on at school. I spent the weekend being quite productive: was in the city on Saturday to try to finish my Chrsitmas shopping (HA! What DOES one buy one's grandfather?!), and then spent the evening at Dave's doing AJET work, while Dave went out to an enkai.

On Sunday, we were up early doors to go and play touch rugby on nearby Awaji Island. I have to admit, rugby was the last thing I felt like doing on Sunday. No real reason, I just didn't have much 'get up and go'. The day, it seemed, was fine enough, and I spent a nice lazy first hour rolling around on the grassy (albeit DEAD grass) field in the sun. Then we had a nice thunderstorm and some freezing rain to remind us that it was indeed late Novemeber, and we were indeed right beside the sea. Brr. All in all, though, I really enjoyed the running around. Didn't score, but I got a couple of decent runs in.

After a good dinner at Masala's in the city (about the closest you'll get to a decent Indian in Tokushima) with Dave and GEOS manager Angela, it was time to board the train home.

This morning I spoke to Alice on messenger. It was so nice to 'speak' to her. I got a lot off my chest, and, as expected, Alice gave me bucketloads of support. Of course, it would have been better to do it in person, but that'll come in about three weeks. I can't believe how much I'm looking forward to going home. Not because it's home, but because of the people I'm going to see. I haven't seen Alice in a year, I saw Jil-sty for only a few hours in June, and I'm going to get to see Jane again. Sadly, I won't see my babies, Jo and Pernilla. That reunion will come in the summer.

On Thursday, the postie came to school with a parcel for me: turns out it was Jill's birthday present, sent to her in August, which I assumed was languishing in some Edinburgh-based Lost Post storage room. But no! The parcel travelled all the way to Tranent, floated around there for a while, looking for Stumpy, and then, when it couldn't find her, it came ALL the way back over here, in perfect condition! I am impressed. Now Jill will get a birthday present.

It's a beautiful day today: I don't think I've ever seen my mountains quite so aflame with autumnal colour. We've had a dry year this year, so it makes the colour that much more vivid. My house is a mess, it needs tidied. My head is a mess, that also needs tidied.

Gobble, gobble

2005-11-24T00:47:00.000Z

I am feeling about 10 times better than I was at the start of the week. Not quite HAPPY yet, but certainly not as bleak as Monday.

Yesterday was another one of those weird Japanese events... a mid-week holiday. Not that I'm complaining! I went out to Kawashima on the train with Julie and Smitha for a Thanksgiving dinner. Wish I was American, there's something terribly civilised and friendly about a day devoted to eating, and playing parlour games, and watching American football (the latter was sadly lacking). I suppose also, there's something terribly privileged about it as well.

Kelly has the largest house of any ALT in the ken, and yesterday it was pretty full with about 25 fellow JETs, who had all come with various food and drink, to sit, eat, talk, laugh and play charades. What fun! The turkeys had been bought specially from a company that specialises in importing foreign food (yeah, whole frozen turkeys don't exist in this country), as had the stuffing and gravy. There were mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, cranberry sauce, El's yummy cream vegetable pasta thing, a few pasta salads, bread, cheese, wine, apple crumble (no custard! for shame!) a brave attempt at Yorkshire pudding, and lots of red wine. My poor tummy's tied in knots today over such rich food, it's used to gentle Japanese cuisine! We played charades, which was a lot of fun, and at about 9.40, it was time to jump on the train back west. Sadly there were no taxis, to I buttined up my coat, pulled on my hat, and started the 30 minute walk home.

It was a beautiful clear crisp night, and the stars were gorgeous. At one point, I lay down in the middle of the road to look at them better, and had to laugh at the thought of one of the locals walking by, and seeing this foreign girl lying in the middle of a dark road for no apparent reason. It didn't happen.

Back at school today, and my one class is cancelled. So time for study. Have also made the decision to go to Belfast over New Year to see Jane. Good stuff.

The picture is me, along with Kiwi Amber, and Canadian Julia, both first year ALTs, and both very lovely. The other one is Beej chewing over life's little idisyncrasies with what's left of the turkey he so expertly carved. :)

Seven Years Bad Luck

2005-11-21T00:43:00.000Z

Look what I did. I broke a mirror on Saturday morning. The last thing I need right now is seven years bad luck. This term has had too much that is bad. Sadly, the weekend had a fair share of bad luck, which I attribute to my poor mirror:

1) Intending to go to the city to shop on Saturday, I woke up at 8am, broke the mirror, and then discovered that the roadies who are currently digging up my street had turned my water off. So my plans for the day were scuppered. I stayed in and did some work and felt cold.

2) Something else happened last night, which I can't write about here, in case it's read. Suffice it to say that things are not as they seemed. But although I am unhappy at the piece of news, the person giving it to me seemed very happy indeed, and that is more important. After I heard what this person said, I went and listened to Nine Inch Nails, turned up very loud, and felt like I was 16 again.

I feel quite blue and alone today. Need some love. And need to reign my imagination back in. Tonight, I am going to run the broken mirror under cold water, and bury it in the soil. Apparently that reverses the bad luck. I don't want anymore bad luck. Things need to start going right, soon.

"It's mine!"

2005-11-17T01:44:00.000Z

I just had a couple of really good first year classes, using phrases like "Is this yours?" and all they associated answers that come with it.

Firstly, me and Tame-chan did a demonstration skit, where we had been shopping, we were on our separate ways home, and we bumped into eachother. Our shopping spilled all over the floor, and we had to sort it out asking the above question. At one point, we had a pulling match over my Cadbury's Advent calendar than mum just sent me. She was really pulling hard!

We handed the floor over to the kids, and they just bowled us over with their skits. We expected them to be really dry, using only the target grammar. Instead, we had fights, romance, murder "I kill you! Give me! I kill you!", and pets "My animal, follow me". It was wonderful. Times like this, I just love my job. It should happen more often!

Cold days now. Snow will come early this year. Means a good long boarding season. I have a lot of work to do. I must get going.

So looking forward to seeing everyone at Chrsitmas, and just TALKING with people that know me. This term has been such a rollercoaster, and I'm mentally drained.

Iceland Airwaves

2005-11-16T04:12:00.000Z

This last couple of months, as I've already commented on, I have been in this sort of musical dreamland. The music I've ripped from people (mainly Nate) has enlarge my collection something ridiculous, and I haven't listened to half the stuff I have yet.

The JETs in Tokkers are a musical bunch, we have a whole spectrum of taste represented here, everything from Classical to gangsta rap and all the stuff in between. From time to time, you get a musical tip-off from a fellow JET about a music website, and you're done for: download orgy, and things like JLPTs and AJET report writing get thrown out the window. The last time this happened was when Mat posted about epitonic.com and I spent many a happy hour browsing the amazing collection of free MP3s they have there.

Today's tip came from Beej, who I will admit, isn't really on my wavelength when it comes to music. But he is serious about it, and any musical tip from Beej should be followed up on. He recommended tofuhut.blogspot.com which is more of a links site to MP3 blogs. And my, what a resource. It's amazing what and who you can find on the net by following link after link.

One of the best finds today was a playlist of some acts at this year's Iceland Airwaves festival. I think Scandinavia has some of the most innovative music around, and I always like to hear more. So I was pretty psyched when I found this playlist just waiting to be downloaded. Haven't taken all of it, but if I like the stuff I have taken, I'll go back for more.

I also found a really great photographer, who turns out to be this 18 year old kid somewhere in the US. His work is really edgy, and beautiful without being sentimental. Check him out here. When I go home, I'm going to do the courses at Stills and get back into it.

Too many kaki

2005-11-14T05:23:00.000Z

I had a quiet weekend for the first time in well over a month, probably nearer two months. Predictably, by the end of it, I was feeling lonely and bored, but I reckon the down time has done me a world of good. Here is my weekend in bullet form, as there is nothing hugely interesting to write prose about:

1) Sat in on Friday with beer and the films 'Volcano'- a literally steaming pile of Hollywood cak, perfect for mindless Friday entertainment-, and 'Carlito's Way'- one of my favourite films, but I saw it not so long ago, so it wasn't quite as breathtaking as usual.

2) Woke up at noon on Saturday. Did some chores, studied a very little, go bored.

3) Spent Saturday night with more films: 'Devil's Advocate' (going through an Al Pacino phase) and 'Death to Smoochy' which is superb, can't understand why it failed at the cinema.

4) Woke up at 7.30am on Sunday to go and spend 3.5 hours in my freezing gym, watching the PTA playing volleyball. As anyone who knows me already knows, I loathe PTAs. So I was not overly happy to have to spend time on Sunday pretending to want to be there. God, was it cold.

5) Went to the onsen to warm up after this, followed by a steaming bowl of udon. Then went home and slept for a good long time. Was woken up by Kocho-sensei's wife, summoning me to their house in order to give me kaki (persimmon) from their tree. I have so many of these damn things now, all sat in my kitchen, and not a single idea of what to do with them. Maybe kaki-shoyu, or kaki salsa, or kaki pie? Hmm, no oven with which to make said pie.

6) Had a quiet Sunday evening, did some AJET work, and by this time, was ready to start the new week, and see people again.

Today, I've had no classes, no-one is really online to talk to, so I'm still feeling somewhat lonely, but that's ok. Monday is busy for most people apart from me! I did have my ass slapped by a third year girl. She's a shocker. I ran away from her clutching my backside, feeling violated.

Tomorrow, we have the big demonstration class for the people from the prefectural board of education. Not overly worried, but would still prefer not to have to do it!

100MpH

2005-11-11T06:02:00.000Z

PHEW! What an absolutely MAD week. It's been good though. It's not often that I feel totally worn out at week's end through hard work, so I am enjoying this sleepy Friday feeling (instead of the usual Friday feeling, which is euphoric at the prospect of two days away from my desk).

Today, I had no idea what I wanted to do in any of my three classes, but they all came together swimmingly well at the last minute, which is always a great feeling. The teachers seemed happy with what I did, the kids seemed interested, so all in all they were good lessons.

Tonight, I plan on being alone for the first Friday in.... a long time. Not so long ago, I was moaning because I always seemed to be at home on a Friday, but then things took off, and I found that my house was always full of guests. Which was great, I love having people over. But this weekend, I am bowing out of the social scene, and having a weekend in on my own to get some sleep, watch some films, and do some.... JAPANESE STUDY!

Yes, the JLPT (Japanese Language Proficiency Test) is but a scant three weeks on Sunday, and I am woefully unprepared. I don't expect to pass (not being a martyr, I simply don't know enough to pass), but I can try my best. And I also have a bet with Stu that if I pass, he has to stop drinking for a week, or a month's worth of weekends, or something like that. If I fail, I have to send (yes, SEND) him a crate of beer. So there's an incentive if ever there was one.

Studying comes tomorrow, though. Tonight, it's me, some beer, my blankets, the rain outside, and some films. Bliss.

Love to you all, see you soon!

Elbow to the Eye

2005-11-06T23:46:00.000Z

The Japanese can be an odd bunch sometimes: like putting a National Holiday in the middle of the week. It just strikes me as odd. It was well received, of course, and I spent the day vegging out with Julie and watching videos, then playing tennis (badly) at night. Just wish it had been a Friday rather than a Thursday.

On Friday, my friend Mat came to stay over. He brought a film called 'Kikojo no Natsu', which means 'Kikojo's Summer'. I think that was the name used... I forget the exact name of the character. Anyway, it stars Beat Takeshi, one of the most famous Japanese actors, and a young boy (who was just beautiful really), and they go in search of this boy's mum. The story is about the unlikely friendship that grows between them, and about some of the characters they meet on their journey. It's quite a melancholic wee film, but nice too.

On Saturday, Mat and I loaded up his car with futons and food, and made our way to the Iya Valley for the annual camping JET camping trip. This was the first time I had been, as in previous years I had been busy with dancing. The drive up to the valley was amazing: we caught the leaves at a perfect time. Unfortunately, I discovered that I had brought my camera without its battery, which was still languishing in the charger at home. So I didn't snap any of the foliage. Nutter than I am.

The trip was good; it's always nice to see people away from Akita Machi, the drinking area of Tokushima. Of course, there was drinking going on, but there seems to be more of a social edge to it when it's done outside. Spoke to a lot of people, snuggled with a few others, and ate some really good BBQ tortilla/quesidilla type things. And drank, maybe just a little more than was necessary.

On Sunday, me, Mat, Joe and Jordan headed to Joe's place nearby, and spent a few hours chatting, playing this odd game called 'Settlers of Catan' (which borders dangerously on the the 'geek' side of things, but however...), and then having a crazy, four-way thumb war which ended abruptly when Jordan's elbow invaded my eye socket. Ouch. Small shiner today, but nothing too noticeable.

Had a wonderful early night last night, after watching 'Heat' (great film), eating Japanese deli food from the local supermarket (wanted to cook curry, but decided that I simply couldn't be bothered), and actually talking to Stu on the phone. He phoned me, and it was really good to hear his voice.

Going down the tubes!

2005-11-01T05:19:00.000Z

My football team, the Heart of Midlothian (or Hearts, or Jambos) have had a great run of late. Since the start of the season, they have scaled the heights of the Scottish Premier league to sit on top, and lord it over the likes of the Weegie teams, and the ever-so-nasty Hibees. No longer. First of all, our manager departs. Then we draw with.. someone, I forget who. Then we LOSE to the HIBEES, thus allowing Celtic to claim the throne AGAIN. THEN both our chariman AND our chief exec leave at the same time. Crumbs! I blame the majority shareholder, some millionaire from Lithuania, or some such place, who was quick to appoint his son as executive. Something is amiss, and unless this idiot starts respecting the people who actually work at the team winning (ie. not him!), he's going to find that his club slip steadily down the league.

In other news... I'm off home at Christmas. This last few months has had a lot of highs and lows that have left me reeling somewhat, and in need of some TLC in the shape of Mum's chocolate trifle. I was looking forward to spending this winter break doing some travelling in SE Asia, but the plans simply haven't come together. Maybe it's for the best. When I made the decision for sure (last night), I felt quite happy at the prospect of home. Not that I am counting down the days til the end of my Japanese life. It's just been a mad time of it, and I feel the need to go home and chill out.

Still emailing Stu, which is still nice.

Ducks, Frogs and Blasts from the Past

2005-10-27T02:44:00.000+01:00

Ducks: We had to go to a silly teachers conference on Tuesday, all the way down in Anan. That meant me, Giuseppe and Jordan had to leave my place (where the boys had stayed the previous night, after a violent game of Crazy 8s) at 6.30am. Bleugh. It was not a nice drive. Until we got to south of Tokushima. Sat in heavy traffic, we noticed a truck, a removal truck, edge up alongside us. It had a duck painted on the side. And a big "DUCK!" printed under it. We raced that truck all the way to Anan. It was fun. Jordan had a fight with a hedge, and Joe looked like Neo from the Matrix while helping to push a stalled car off the road. Later that day, at Christine's, we had a small rubber duck as our poker button. Christine had a book, I'm told, called 'Magic Things You Can Do With Ducks'. Or maybe 'Things You Can Do With Magic Ducks'. I forget. Either way, it was magically ducky. We listened to a band called Duck Missile. And our duck button was thrown to shouts of "DUCK!"; in warning that a duck was coming your way, and you should duck avoid being struck by this duck missile. We're clever kids, us. Funny too.

Frogs: Had about 9 years shaved off my life just this morning. Our school janitor, Usuki-san, is quite possibly the coolest cat in school, and something of a practical joker. No, he IS the coolest cat in school. He saunters up to me, and offers me Something in his hand. Like a fool, I make to take it, but then the Something jumps out of his hand and onto the floor, eliciting a "MWAH! JESUS!" from me, and much clutching of the chest. The Something was a small frog, and the poor little thing was covered in dust, having been living in the staffroom for a while. Usuki-san cackled while I regained my composure, sent him filthy looks, and rescued the amphibian from the floor. I like frogs.

Blasts from the Past: I had an email from Stu. Well, I emailed him first, I won't go into details, but I sort of had to. Anyway, Stu emailed me, and it was actually really nice to hear from him. I had hoped he wouldn't email me back, but he did. And when I read his mail, I remembered him, and it was a nice feeling. I'm over him, and I've stopped missing him, but hearing from him was sweetness. I'm not sure if we will keep in touch. I don't know if I would want to. Then again, maybe I would. I don't know. I'm not trying to analyse it, I do that too much. I simply wanted to state that he had written to me, and that I liked it. And it didn't hurt. So for now, emails from him are welcome sights in my box. I also had an email from Alice, who I miss fiercely. Alice has the best listening ear of anyone in the world. I like nothing better than going to the Bailie with Alice, having a pint, and getting it all off my chest. And she does the same. Alice is the least judgemental person I've ever met. Nothing I say has ever fazed her. She's gold.

I am grammar checking my near-sister-in-law's PhD thesis. Title? 'Later Prehistoric Settlement Pattern in South Scotland'. Yikes.

I have a huge weekend ahead. Poker (hope Mum's not reading this) on Friday, Frisbee, Halloween costume shopping, swing dance lesson with Dave, and then Halloween party on Saturday. Possibly dying on Sunday. Or maybe just sleeping for a long time. Dreaming of ducks, frogs and my precious blasts from the past.

Chitter

2005-10-24T04:54:00.000+01:00

Yeah, it's cold. It got very cold over the weekend, cold enough for me to turn on the space heater in my house. I think I had a grand total of three weeks without the need of aircon of any sort. Three damn weeks.

The weekend was pretty quiet, and truth be told, pretty murky. Lots of stuff happening that needs to be thought out and considered very carefully. Wishing that I was at home, or that at least I could SEE someone from home.

I did have a good time at a small-scale poker game on Friday (sorry Mum, but I think I deserved it!). I made a couple of good bluffs, and kept most of my money.

On Saturday, the weather was cold, grey and rainy, yet I had to cycle about 10km to a new private eikaiwa class. A mother and her two young kids. It was good, as far as eikiawas go, but there were many other things I could see myself doing on such a nasty afternoon.

On Sunday, it was the festival at the local onsen. I had a lovely time hanging out with the locals, watching some performances on stage, dancing myself, and playing with the kids. I haven't spent a day like that in a while, so it was nice. It cheered me up.

I haven't really a lot to say. Just lots to think about.

Cracked it!

2005-10-19T02:02:00.000+01:00

Finally! I have discovered how to team teach with Noda-sensei! Sensei and me have had something of a love-hate relationship since day 1. I always dreaded teaching with him, because he left the entire lesson up to me, and it was always such a hit-or miss affair. In retrospect, it has probably made me a better teacher, but the road to that has been a little bumpy. Anyway, things are different now, and we work a lot better together. And now, the answer to good lessons which make me, the kids AND sensei happy is MUSIC! And it was staring me in the face all the time. Dummy. I won't go into detail, but this week, for the first time ever, we were united: in disbelief that out of the 75 third graders (14-15 years old) in the school, 5 of them knew or had heard of John Lennon's 'Imagine'. Shock-a-rooney. So we have decided to take the bull by the horns and introduce the kids to a song that at first glance is beautiful and idealistic, but by the time someone is 15 years old, they should be beginning to question its message. Jings!

Speaking of music, I am in a musical wonderland just now, with all the new stuff I am listening to. If anyone is in need of some new sounds, then let me know. I can put together a zappy CD for ya, and send it off! Maybe the stuff I'm listening to isn't new (I don't think it is), but you need to remember, that I have more or less been out of the Western musical loop for over two years now, and there's a lot of stuff that has come out during that time. I have a lot of experimentation to do when I get home! Maybe I'll try to get a job in a record shop when I get home as a stop gap...

Travels in my more immediate future are on the horizon. I want to go to SE Asia this winter break (sick birds and suicide bombers be damned!). I'm hoping for Cambodia, as it's pretty cheap to get to from this end, but I still need a travel partner. I would travel alone, if only it wasn't Christmas. We'll see. I've always wanted to visit Cambodia, and I want to go before it becomes too much like Vietnam or Thailand: overrun by white backpackers with degrees and a burning desire to find themselves. I think at the moment that it's not quite that bad. And I might not get such a good chance to do it so cheaply again...

Must be off!

Too sleepy

2005-10-17T01:03:00.000+01:00

I feel so tired this morning. It's been a busy time of it this last week. The weekend was back to usual madness after a rest last weekend.

I went east on Friday night for a get together at a friend's house. It was a good time, nice to catch up with people that I haven't seen in a while.

Had a long lie on Saturday (having spent the night at another friend's house), then woke up and had the best breakfast ever. Scrambled eggs with peppers, onion, garlic, loads of Danish toast, fresh tomatoes, apples and juice. What a feast!

After that I went into the city for a haircut, and a spot of shopping: winter is on its way, and I need some new clothes badly. I got a couple of jumpers and some new underwear, so I was happy. Then I went for a haircut, before heading to Big Brothers', a local sandwich shop run by a couple of Americans who have been in the country for a long time. Good food, and there's always people there to talk to. As it happened, I was meeting my friend Kenji.

Saturday night was spent out on the town. One of the most popular (the most popular?) gaijin bars was closing it's doors. Mabuhay (better known as Ingrid's, for the name of the kind but crazy Phillipine owner) is the tiniest karaoke bar ever. The bar is only big enough for six seats, and there is only room to stand about 10 people after that. So patrons would regularly just stand behind the bar, and pour their own drinks, or hang out on the balocony. However, Ingrid has decided that she and her customers have outgrown Mabuhay, and so she is moving. I went along on Saturday to see the place for the last time. But it was so crowded, I didn't even try to get in amongst it. Dave came and joined me, we chatted to Ingrid for a bit, then bid the place farewell, and headed for a jazz bar a little way down the street. There we met some other JETs, had a drink, enjoyed some live jazz, and headed home at about 1am.

Sunday was by far the best day of the weekend! Up early doors to go and play in a local Touch Rugby competition. The fields we play on are down by the river, and on Saturday, it rained non-stop. The result was that we had to play on water-logged pitches on Sunday morning. We didn't so much as run around, as we did slip, slide and fall. By the time we were done (my team won), I was caked in mud, and I rather doubt my trainers or t-shirt will ever be the same again. Still it was a good time, and I enjoyed the exercise, fresh air, and after-match BBQ that we had.

But I wasn't done with physical activity yet! After the rugby, I headed north to Naruto for some Ultimate Frisbee. I had a great couple of hours in the company of about seven other JETs, throwing the 'bee around. We had a face paced game, that wasn't quite Ultimate because we were lacking in numbers, but it was still a proper 'scoring points' kind of thing that left us knackered but feeling very alive and invigorated.

Finally started the long drive home with Smitha and Nate about 5.30pm, stopping on the way for food, and a trip to Book-Off (second hand book/CD/game shop), where we all bought some cheap Y250 CDs, and then blasted our heads off all the way home to Japanese punk and Euro techno. All right.

Those kids...

2005-10-11T08:22:00.000+01:00

Long weekend was pretty quiet. Sadly. But everyone was tired from shenanigans the previous weekends, or had dates, or stuff... What did I do?

1) Watched films. Lots of films. Including, but not limited to, the entire Indiana Jones series, Twister, and US Marshalls. I felt American.

2) Slept.

3) Ate entirely too much junk food.

4) Attended a meeting for the upcoming AJET musical, which I feel I will regret becoming involved in.

Then it was back to work today, Tuesday. Tuesday is my least favourite day of the week. Today, I was dreading it, but it was actually not bad. Thus far anyway... Two good third grade classes, and a not-bad junior class, followed by a disastrous senior class, both in the mountains. It could have been worse. They could all have been disastrous. :) Eikiawa tonight, which I always feel pretty nonchalant about, but always enjoy. Yeah, this could have been a worse day. I like being busy!

I also got given a lot of omiyage (presents) yesterday for no apparent reason. From the vice-principal of the mountain elementary school (such a nice bloke, he is), and from one of my eikaiwa ladies, who just had a holiday in Okinawa. Sometimes these people just blow my mind with these random acts of kindness.

I also taught my eikaiwa class Einstein's Theory of Relativity last night. They didn't know it! So I feel that I have finally taught something of import to these people: EVERYONE should know Einstein's Theory of Relativity.

Dance Practice

2005-10-07T07:12:00.000+01:00

Minoda-ren is part of a group of five rens all based in the Miyoshi-gun area. We all perform at the Highway Oasis on a weekly rotation. From time to time, all the rens get together and do a big performance. One such date is coming up in a couple of weeks time. It's for the Minoda-matsuri (the festival named for the Minoda rocks, which are a feature of the river at the Oasis).

We had a practice for the matsuri last night. Usually dance practice is at the weekend, but to get ready for the big show, all the rens have been getting together on Thursday nights. Practicing mid-week always serves as a reminder to me of how diverse the Dancing Fools of Tokushima really are. People turn up fresh from work: teeneagers in their school uniforms, construction workers, electricians, teachers and so on. Seeing people of so many backgrounds come together for a common purpose is, I think, one of the best things about being in a Awa Odori ren. It really is for everyone! I love how it brings people together so that we can enjoy dancing, and so that we can entertain people.

If you would step into any of the high schools in the county, and look at the sullen faces of the students, you'd be forgiven for thinking that doing something as community-minded as Awa Odori would be their idea of hell. But come down to the Oasis on a Thursday night, and watch them as they transform themselves into fools. It's a great spectacle, and something I will be forever grateful to be involved in!

I hope to see some of you on October 23rd at the Miyoshi-cho Highway Oasis!

Weekend pictures

2005-10-05T07:33:00.000+01:00

Here we are: a spot of star-gazing in Nate's garage roof, and me, Julie and Joe doing battle with the tree.

Lunch

2005-10-05T04:43:00.000+01:00

Yummy. I got to have some school lunch today: it was my favourite cream corn pasta stew type thing. It's wonderfully comforting food, and since it's a rainy day today, it's just perfect. And then I ran home and snatched the bag of Maltesers that Mum sent me. Which I am munching as I type. And all the while the Mad School Nurse is screeching away in my ear.

I like rainy days. I'm going to stay in tonight, have an early shower, maybe actually go to the onsen, then hole up with a film.

Need inspiration. Feeling bored this week. Must gee up.

Trees and Bad Shoes

2005-10-03T00:53:00.000+01:00

Last week was one of those weeks that you just want to be over. Not because you are having a bad time of it (I had a good week at work, actually), but because you have some stonking activities planned for the weekend. But my plans bit the dust on Thursday night (we were supposed to go and play Frisbee on another part of the island, but we cancelled because of time contraints), and I spent the evening in a blue funk, because I'd been waiting ages for it to happen.

However, the weekend was still one to remember! It started late on Friday afternoon, by teaching my 2-nenseis (2nd graders). I always dread these classes, as they are the last classes of the week for both kids and teachers, but the students are always great, and I love teaching them. They set me up. Anyway, Friday there, I taught them the phrase 'Happy Friday'. And during cleaning time after class, two or three of them passed me in the hall and wished me a Happy Friday. All right!

After that, it was time to head over to Julie's place in Mikamo. The rough plan was chat, films, erm poker. D'oh! Nate is a total poker monkey, and so once again, I found myself staring two cards in the face. But THIS TIME I WON! I tripled my buy in (so more or less recouping my losses over the previous two weekends). Happy! But still aiming for no poker next weekend. We had a really great night, everyone was on good form, and it was a good substitute for Frisbee. Joe and Nate came back to mine to watch a film called 'Saw', which I think may have been scary if I had been by myself, and the mood of the group wasn't as happy. It was an ok film I guess, but I was sort of tipsy, and we were all wired so I didn't watch it like I should have. Then a pillow fight ensued, then a half-serious argument about the distribution of blankets and pillows and things, and then 3.30am we finally crashed.

On Saturday, we got on the road about midday. We picked Julie up, and headed for the nearby city of Kawanoe (paper milling capital of Japan, hence smelliest city in Japan) to do some shopping. Nate is still kitting his house out to make it feel like home, and on his list was a tree. He wanted a tree for his kitchen. So we got one. But we had to get it back to Higashiiya. Hilarity. We were in Nate's car. Nate's car is tiny. It was crammed with four people, and their stuff for nights away at people's houses. And now we wanted to fit a tree in aswell. A six foot tree. This will go down as one of my classic JET memories. Nate putting this tree in through the back window, me having to recline the seat all the way back, thus pegging Joe in place, then sitting with the tree trunk on top of me. The foliage of the tree was in Joe's face. So he was breathing leaves. It is one of the funniest situations I have ever found myself if. A giggling Nate ran round the car taking pictures, so when I get copies, I will post them.

It was a long drive back to Iya, what with a tree lying on top of me, but we got there, tree and all! Quick stop at Nate's to dump gear, and then we drove up the mountain to an old samurai house for the annual jazz concert. This is one of the coolest events ever: all these people sit round an old iryori (open fire used for cooking), and listen to these cool cats go mad on vibraphones, double bases and pianos. Jazz in the mountains. Sweet. The concert is made all the better for the great home-made Japanese food laid on (food with a distinctive Iya twist).

After the concert, we went back down to Nate's to par-tay. There was our Kawanoe crew, plus Jordan, Dave, and a few other JETs who had been rafting that day. It was a really great night: I was in an ass-slapping sort of mood, we played some mad games, Dave and Amber showed people how to swing dance, and there was swimming in the river outside Nate's house. Some people were more dressed than others. :) Again, it was 3.30am by the time we finally crashed out: drunk, tired, but happy.

I wish I could have slept in longer on Sunday, but I was due back in Miyoshi by 12.30 to dance. So I left my nice futon, said my goodbyes, and drove back towards civilisation with some of the other revellers. I hadn't danced for a while. Things have been busy. And Minoda-ren is having something of a membershiop crisis. However, tired as I was, I always like to dance.

Yesterday, though, was the worst I have dance for a very long time. Maybe cause I was so beat, but I think it had more to do with the poor shape my shoes were in. I always carry two pairs of geta with me (wooden thongs on wedges that you dance in) in case one pair breaks. My first performance was horrible because the rope of the thong was about to snap, and I could feel it getting weaker and weaker with each step. it made me lose all concentration, and I guffed up dances I've been doing with my eyes closed for two years. And Dave was watching! So sad! I always like to dance well if Dave is seeing me: he's my Awa Odori mentor, and I always want to impress him, but alas, not yesterday. Quick shoe change, no worries. But the second and third performances were no better! The wedges kept dropping out the bottom of my shoes, making me stumble and forget my timing! Then a blister formed and popped right between my big and second toe, where all my weight rests when I'm dancing. As you can imagine, that's excurciating!

So all in all, a pretty grim day onstage, but good to see the ren and hang out. There are only a couple of shows left before our winter break, sadly. It's been a quick season! I hope that next season (from about March time) will see a newly revived Minoda-ren dance up a storm. I'm sure it will.

So back at school today, Monday is when I have no classes. That can be a blessing and a curse. A pretty average looking week lies ahead, and then next weekend is another long one, with the 10th being Japanese Health and Sports day (which is so important, it warrants a National Holiday!). I'm going to do lots of studying this week, maybe see Hanna and Kunihiro for dinner, and try to catch up on some sleep. No plans for the long weekend as yet, but I hope it'll be good. Sure it will. :) The pictures are of Joe on Saturday (VERY late on!), and Joe, Nate and new JET Sara looking philisophical on Friday night.

Brrrr!

2005-09-29T03:15:00.000+01:00

The one thing about living in a country as hot as Japan is during summer is that any slight drop in temperature is felt quite a lot. There is no heat in the night now, which is really refreshing, but something of a shock to the system as well! In the space of a week, I've gone from sleeping in the buff, with aircon and no blankets, to wearing a t-shirt, switching the AC off, and using my duvet.

It's not really cold, but there is a definite chill in the air. I use hot water for showers now, and the glass on my bathroom mirror gets misted up when I come out. There was condensation on the insides of my windows this morning. The shops are starting to sell nabe broth (nabe is a tradtional type of Japanese stew, very delicious, and eaten in the winter months). The kaki (persimmon) are starting to turn orange on the trees. The leaves of trees are taking on a faint yellow/brown hue. Yup, summer is truly gone, and the country is preparing to hunker down for another long winter.

This sort of thing is the best part of living in Japan for me: the change of the seasons. It is so marked, the change is not a gradual process, but one that happens noticeably over the course of two or three weeks. I love how there are four distinct times of year, rather than the long grey nothingness of the UK. I think it's very good for mental health as well. Something about your surroundings fitting in with your state of mind. Maybe that's why so many people get SAD in the UK? Because although it gets colder, and darker, there is no proper change of season, just a gentle decline into it. So people still wonder when the next warm day will be, still think of summer activities. In Japan, people sense the winter coming, and change their lives to reflect this. They adapt their activities to deal with the different weather, and I think this has a good effect on their minds. In Britain, we associate summer with good living, but this doesn't have to be the case. Winter in Japan is full of activity. It's hard going, because it's so cold, but if you keep yourself busy (not hard to do!) then you can have a really good time of it, as good as in the summer.

2005-09-27T07:57:00.000+01:00

Here's the little boy and his fishes. See? This is why I live in Japan! The cutest kids in the world.

Yet Another Long Weekend!

2005-09-27T07:55:00.000+01:00

Ah I love and hate September for exactly this reason! It has all these wonderful National Holidays, but those, combined with the crazy-ass schedule at work, make it nigh on impossible to settle into any sort of routine. Which in itself is good and bad.

Anyway, Friday was a National Holiday, but it was Miyoshi Junior High School’s bunkasai or culture festival. This is basically a day for the kids to perform serious and not-so-serious skits, show off the work they’ve done in their practical lessons, and host a bazaar, full of stalls run by the students. They sell all sorts of food, you can play video games, and even catch your own goldfish! I didn’t realise that I had signed up for this, so when I was handed my fishing net, I was a little panicked! I didn’t want goldfish! I caught two of the poor creatures, and immediately handed them off to a little toddler boy standing watching me. That’s him with his new pets in the picture. Cute kid.

I spent Friday ONCE AGAIN in on my own, but I was rather tired, so it wasn’t a bad thing.

Had a great long lie on Saturday, and then heard from Nate that poker was at my place that night. So I spent the afternoon cleaning the place up, and chilling. Nate, Lindsay and Joe turned up just after 7pm, and I had time for a couple of hands before I had to go to dance practice. I came back just after nine, and we played til about 11.30. I lost again, but not everything, and I feel like I know the game better now.

The following day, I went to Ashiro Elmentary School’s sports day. It was a really good time. I had been invited to watch the events with the Ito family, who I know really well: I teach or work with or am friends with a lot of the family. Ito-san, the grandmother, who is also my eikaiwa student, had brought along a tonne of homemade Japanese food for lunch, and it made me so happy. I love Japanese food, and if it’s homemade, it’s out of this world! There was so much to go round, we ate like kings. In the afternoon, there were more events to watch, and I got roped into the tug-of-war event, which was actually a lot of fun. I left the Itos around 2.30pm, and biked to another elementary whose sports day was also being held. I didn’t stay long, as I was tired, and I didn’t know so many people there.

Back home for a quick snooze before heading to Jordan’s place in Yamashiro for more… poker! Hmm, yeah, I’ve played a lot of poker the past couple of weeks, and I think I’ll not play any more for a wee while. It takes a lot of brain power, and while I enjoy the game, and I think it’s something I’ll enjoy playing from now on, I’ll never be a total card shark. Anyway, Sunday night was a good night, we had some good laughs. I stayed at Nate’s place in the mountains, and had a really great sleep. Full of weird dreams, but it was a good sleep nonetheless. I woke up at 11.30, and an hour later Joe came round. We three went for some lunch, then Joe and I hit the road.

We were headed for Niihama, a city about 2 hours west of Miyoshi, in neighbouring Ehime-ken. We wanted to see a new place on our day off, so we picked Niihama. We got started rather late in the afternoon, so we didn’t arrive in Niihama til 5.30pm. Enough time to look round the shopping complex I wanted to show Joe, get some great melon ice-cream, and buy some Body Shop smellies (yes, the Body Shop!).

After that, it was back in the car, and back east to Kawanoe for the first Miyoshi-gun bowling night. We didn’t have a full showing of folk, as people are still tired and busy and stuff (it really has been a mad month). But we had a good time, good craic, and my bowling skills aren’t as diminished as I’d feared.

So back to school on a Tuesday (such weeks can often be longer than the full five days!), and then it’s another exciting week next week. But that will have to wait. I am becoming hooked on weekends, and it needs to change. I need to rediscover the joys of simply living in Japan from day to day.

I’m in such a weird place mentally just now. It’s sort of exciting, but sort of sad. It’s not quite where I want to be.

School's Gone Nuts!

2005-09-21T08:50:00.000+01:00

A little add on: the school has become this hive of activity, it's amazing. It's the school culture fest on Friday, and all the preparations have gone into overdrive. Between concert rehearsals, kids preparing skits, and teachers gathering stuff for the bazaar in the afternoon, it seems madness has finally descended! A teacher just came into the room with a big candy floss machine, which fell apart when she put it down. She put it back together, switched it on, and now the room is filled with the smell of hot sugar!

At the end of the concert rehearsal today, I was chatting with my 3rd-grade girls. One of them, a cheeky but rather lovely kid called Akiko, came up to me, put her hand on my shoulder and looked very sad. Then she said "Eri... you're crazy". Just like that. I cracked up. I love moments like this!

Oh man, now the teacher is MAKING candy floss! Woo hoOo!

Weekend pictures

2005-09-21T07:17:00.000+01:00

Here are a couple of pictures, click to enlarge:
Tamezane-sensei, Yuki and me after the speech contest.
And some of my friends playing on the vine bridge. I wanted to post a mukade picture, but I can't get the image to copy over. Just think of a big black centipede with orange legs and antennas, and fearsome fangs, and you're there. :)

Looong Weekend!

2005-09-21T04:50:00.000+01:00

I feel like I have a lot to write about today, so I hope that you make it to the end of all this....

First of all, yeah, I had a long weekend, which was mostly super-duper. I spent Friday night.... yep, you guessed it, in and alone with some videos. This is beginning to get to me. Friday nights are when I feel best about going out and having fun. It's just that everyone is so crazy-busy in September that it's hard to make it happen. So yeah, more movies, and it wasn't entirely bad. Heartily recommend Fargo, that's a funny film. Yah. William H. Macy is possibly the best actor to ever live. Ever.

Saturday, I met Yuki for speech contest practice in the morning, then went to the city at night for a BBQ. The party was being held by Aussie couple Ron and Andrea in their lovely big house just North of the city. Dave and I drove up, and proceeded to eat great food, have some good chat, and run around with Josh and Hannah, Ron and Andrea's young (and very energetic) kids. Twas a good time! I stayed with Dave at his place, and we had a good time watching a really bad Steven Segal film, and chatting about life and future plans til the wee small hours.

On Sunday, I headed allll the way back West... further even than Miyoshi. Destination: Higashiiya! In my first year, Katy lived in Higashiiya, but she left, and the placement was vacant last year. Now that Nate is here, I get to go up there much more often! So a group of us trooped up on Sunday night to play poker. My first time, and I won't pretend I didn't find it all somewhat confusing. But it gets under your skin, and I'm thirsty for more! I'll be boning up on poker thoery before the next poker night, that's for sure! There's something about throwing chips on the table, and calling and raising, and bluffing and all that. I lost. It was only a Y500 buy in (about 2.50) and I lost about Y300. But it was fun. "I see your Y50, wise guy... and I raise ya Y100!". Hee hee!

On Monday, some other first year JETs came up to Iya, and we took them round to all the normal tourist sights: the Kazurabashi vine bridge, the Pee Boy statue, the best noodle shop, Senkichi, and the best onsen in Tokushima-ken, Hikyou no Yu! Being a Monday holiday, Iya was pretty packed with tourists, but it was a lovely relaxing day nevertheless, and I enjoyed hanging out with everyone.

Nate came down to mine that night, and we watched a film called 'Gothika' which we thought, and hoped, would scare us witless, but it ended up being a mildly interesting psychological thriller. Oh well. I then stole a heap of music from Nate's computer, so I'm over the moon! I've turned into such a music junkie these last few months! For those of you starved of musical choice, I heartily recommend The Postal Service, Bright Eyes and Pete Yorn.

Tuesday was the annual county speech contest, held in Ikeda. My girl, Yuki, has simply worked off her socks at her speech, and even though she didn't win, I couldn't be prouder of her. She's a star! She had the unfortunate burden of going first. She got too nervous, and spoke way too fast, as well as forgetting some of the speech. But someone had to be first. So I don't care, I think she was great!

We spent the afternoon yesterday having a meeting, and then heading to the arcade to play games and do puri-kura (in case you don't know, puri-kura is little sticker photos that you take with your friends and then decorate with all sorts of cutise mostifs. Lots of fun!). So that was four days with no school.

Finally, last night, I was teaching my eikaiwa class. As I was chatting away, I felt a really sharp, stinging pain in my hip, and let out a howl of "Aaaaaaoooooowwww"! I stood up shouting that something had bitten me, and started swatting at my shirt. Out fell a mukade. A MUKADE!!!! Mukade are pets of Satan himself. They are poisonous centipedes, common to rural parts of Japan. My first house here in Miyoshi was a horrible little affair, set low in the ground next to a swamp. So I used to get loads of mukade, and other assorted beasties, scuttling through on regular occassions. Never before though, has one of the little buggers bitten me. Until last night. The one that got me had crawled up from the floor under my shirt, I think, and had a nibble. It hurts so much because they inject poison, rather than suck blood. My assailant was a tiddler at 5cm (they regularly grow to 20cm+), but he still left visible puncture marks, and a stinging pain. Thankfully, it was my eikaiwa class, and they jumped into action, smashing the beast with a slipper, then administering the correct cream to take the sting away. Mukade are always killed in Japan. Their bites can kill small children, and the very old. Shudder!

Finally, I just wanted to write about something that has happened to me that I never even realised was happening. I have become a crusty old JET. I am jaded. And it's sad. The new folk have this wonderful enthusiasm for being here, learning the language, meeting lots of people, and all that. Whereas I have been here for two years, have a pitiful amount of Japanese to show for it, and have become entirely too settled. It's not good, and I need to shake myself up in order to make the most of my final year here. I wish I was back in first year, with all the wonder that goes with it. I don't want to be old and crusty.

2005-09-21T03:29:00.000+01:00

The Most Fun You Can Have With Your Clothes On!

2005-09-14T06:14:00.000+01:00

I have nothing to say. But much to share. Below are some of my favorite links on the web. Most are fun, some are just good websites. They are in no particular order. Lemme know what you think...

www.epitonic.com
A site passed onto the local JET community by fellow ALT and fellow Blogger Matt 'Fletcher' Shettler. Loads of great free music downloads from bands that haven't sold their souls to Sony or Geffen or suchlike.

www.outpostnine.com/editorials/teacher.html
A site written by an ALT up in Kyoto. The stories are hilarious: I tend to take some of them with a pinch of salt, but they make great reading nonetheless.

www.fabrica.it/flipbook
Given to me by Jeff, this site allows you to create your own animations, and view the ones your friends did. So much fun!

www.heavy.com
A website full of funny animations and stuff. Really for adults. Check out the 'Office Friends' animation. Priceless!

http://happyraft.com/en/
The website of the crew up the road at Happy Raft, the company I semi-regularly raft the Yoshino River with.

www.street-mg.com/xnew/
A web site of three sister magazines, based here in Japan, I think. It covers street fashion from Japan and the rest of the world. Some great pictures, great clothes, and intersting looking people.

www.robertmckechnie.com
Website of an old photographer friend of mine: we both worked in Starbucks in the golden years, now he's back in his native Australia, doing what he does best: taking great pictures. Good for you, Rob!

www.ajet.net
The website of the Association of the Japan exchange and Teaching Programme, which I am doing work for this year.

I also like reading stuff like The Scotsman (for home news), the New York Times (it's a good international newspaper) and The Economist and Newsweek (just good, mostly non-biased views), but I won't link them from here, as they are pretty easy to find.

No Rest for the Wicked

2005-09-11T06:16:00.000+01:00

Oh my, what a weekend! There was so many good, good things about it, and one big bad thing, that was so big and bad that it was as big as all the good things put together. It was that bad.

It started off on Friday: I didn't get my wish, and I spent Friday night alone. But that was ok! Because I had Daniel-san and Mr. Miyagi to keep me company (hmm, so I suppose I wasn't entirely alone). That's right, readers, I rented The Karate Kid (or Besuto Kiddo in Japanese)! It was soooo good, it gave me goosebumps. I grew up on this film. Daddy still uses quotes from it even now. "Daniel-san! Always look eye!". After that, I decided to try Mulholland Drive, which I have heard a lot of good things about. I got about 2 hours into it, before I gave up and pronounced David Lynch on his own planet, which only a privelaged few are allowed to visit. I am not one of them. :)

On Saturday, I was picked up by Nate and Smitha (new ALT in nearby Ikeda), and we drove aaaallll the way out east to Naruto Park for... Ultimate Frisbee! It was a blast! A lot of people came out, and we got a good game going. It's really fast-paced, and I haven't run like that in a long time. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Then us three Westies went to Uniqlo (Gap-like shop with really good prices: also gaijin-friendly sizes), and then hopped over to McDonald's for dinner. We were joined by Dave too, and it was nice to sit around for a wee while and chew the fat. Hmm, literally methinks!

We drove home via the expressway, and Nate decided to come back to mine for films and beer and chat. We said goodbye to Smitha, stocked up and headed home.

I haven't had such a good night in a long time. Nate is one of the easiest people ever to talk to, we have a lot in common, similar senses of humour.... he's super-social, so it's not like we are bosom buds, but he is definitly going to be one of my closest mates this year. It was just so nice to kick back and relax, and listen to music and laugh away. We didn't get to sleep until 4.15, with lots of beer and shochu inside us (that was Nate's fault, bad influence!). Unfortunately, I had to be up at 6.15am. That was the start of the badness...

It had rained all through the night, and I had a hope as I crawled (slowly) from my futon this morning that the school sports day (for which reason I was up at such an ungodly hour on a Sunday for) might just be cancelled. Nate was still snoring away, no sports day for him. The town announcement went off, and sure enough, the event was cancelled! All right! I get to sleep! Erm no. I phoned my Japanese mum (but officially she's only a work collegue) and checked that I had the right end of the stick. Yes I did. But. Staff and students were expected at school.

So odd. A bit miffed, and looking decidedly worse for wear, I ambled down to school, looked at the schedule board, and nearly had a blue fit when I saw we were scheduled for a full day. This was the bad thing. I'd had two hours sleep. I was wearing no eyeliner (big deal). I hadn't brought my electronic limb, my laptop, in the belief that I would be safely back in bed after the short meeting to officially cancel the sports day. I had brough nothing to see me through a day of hell, such as I saw it.

Maaaaaan. What a bummer! I slipped home at lunchtime, Nate was beavering away at his Japanese textbook, having had about 4 more hours sleep than I did. Collected my laptop and some other materials and sulked back to school.

So this was the crappy end to the weekend. I'd almost have rather felt awful, and had to work at the sports day, than feel awful, think I was getting a day off, then not, but not really having any work either. What a let-down.

Still, it happens, and I think the good just edges out the bad from this weekend. More than just. :) It was a great weekend. Mostly. ;)

Ichi Ni!

2005-09-08T05:35:00.000+01:00

"Ichi, ni! Ichi, ni! Ichi, ni!". Sports day practice is under-way. I can hear the perennial cry of "ichi ni" in my head. Damn kids.

The typhoon came and went, its most notable point being that it filled the local dam from 0.4% to 100% in 24 hours. Yikes!

This last week and a half or so, I finally cracked and watched the Lord of the Rings movies. Promptly fell in love with Viggo Mortensen, who plays Aragorn. He's actually a poet, painter and photographer too, and has created some beautiful pieces.

Want to do something fun this coming Friday night. Want to hang with some good mates, and have a reeealllly good conversation. Playing some frisbee on Saturday. All right! Sunday is the sports day.

Registered in the nick of time for the Japanese Language Proficiency Test (JLPT) taking place in December. I haven't a marshmallow's hope in a bonfire of passing, but at least coughing up Y5000 for the privelage of taking the test is making me study again. It's been a long time.

I am in a CD making mood. I want to make CDs for people, and I want them to enjoy them. I found some old songs today on iTunes that were buried at the back of my memory, downloaded them, and felt sparkly.

I DO NOT want to play tennis tonight. But I should. Unless it rains. Come on the rain!

NOW the typhoon cometh!

2005-09-05T00:53:00.000+01:00

Aww yeah, looks like it's heading straight for us! Hmm, maybe in the face of all the horrors currently taking place in New Orleans, my cheerfulness over the impending storm is misplaced. However, typhoons are, on average, somewhat weaker than hurricanes, and this part of Japan needs a day of heavy of rain like nothing else. I have a healthy respect for the weather, especially in a country like Japan, which is susceptible to all sorts of natural disasters. But at the same time, I love to marvel at the power of Mother Nature in a bad mood. Puts me in my place.

The weekend was pretty good, quite a quiet one. I had a great enkai (drinking/food feast) with the teachers on Friday night to celebrate the start of term. I came home with a tummy stuffed with excellent food, and a lot of beer and sake besides. I was in a mood to save the world, but alas! there was no-one around to talk strategy with. So I settled for terrorising Dave and Jenna by keitai email for a while, before sitting down to let Team America: World Police save the world in my stead.

Saturday was spent doing nothing, mostly. I did meet my friend Kanako for dinner, which was nice, as I haven't seen her in an age.

Sunday was a dancing day, and new Mikamo ALT Julie decided to come and watch. We were pretty rubbish, actually, but it was a good time nonetheless. Afterwards, Julie came back to mine, we were joined by Keiko, and had some dinner. I tested my new-found yaki-soba-making skills on the girls, and they were pretty impressed.

Watched the last installment of Lord of the Rings (great stuff!), a little F1, spoke to the parents briefly, and then fell asleep and dreamed of Aragorn.

Ashiro 1st Graders

2005-09-02T07:34:00.000+01:00

Written last Friday, published today.

What a way to start a term! By teaching the youngest class at the biggest school! Don't get me wrong, these ankle-biters are the bees knees, and I love each and every one of them. But after a six week long hiatus, it's something of a baptism of fire to have them as your first class.

As soon as I walked into the classroom, I was greeted by 27 beaming munchkin faces, assorted cries of "Eri-sensei!!" and assorted hands reaching for assorted parts of my body (we ALTs are something of a playground for the young 'uns; glad I'm not a bloke...). After I had deposited them back at their desks, we enjoyed a fairly smooth and productive lesson. Well, as smooth and productive as it can be with 6 year olds who understand less than nothing of what you are saying!

We played a game called "Grab a Friend", where I put on some music, they dance a bit, I stop the music, they freeze, I call a number, and then they all get into groups of that number as fast as possible. I had some Japanese J-pop with me, and put on a particulalrly mad, ravey number, and they totally rocked out! The sight of these wee things going mad, having a good old boogie, but all the time keeping one eye on me was just great! I danced and jumped along, and generally behaved like a six year old.

There's one little kid in the class called Keigo. Keigo and his entire family belong to Minoda-ren, and he thinks this means he and I have a special bond. I guess we do in some way, but it's not something I'm about to play up to for him. It just struck me as funny that today I was being all teachery with him, being very authorative and so forth, but not three weeks ago, he was pouring me beer at the halfway party for Minoda-ren. "Keigo! Get over here, my glass is empty!". Probably, I'd get reprimanded for that in the UK, but here, such things don't seem to be such a big deal.

WOW

2005-09-01T02:56:00.000+01:00

Just a little add-on. I just had the BEST chocolate thingy EVER. It was a ball of white chocolate with a whole freeze-dried strawberry in the middle. Keep me away from those things!

Owls and the End of Summer

2005-09-01T02:52:00.000+01:00

Yesterday, at the end of our session, Yuki gave me a present. If you’ll recall, Yuki is the girl who has been selected to represent Miyoshi JHS in the county speech contest later this month. She decided to give me a late birthday present, which she made herself. You can see them in the picture: five wee beanbag owls made from kimono silk remnants. Owls are lucky in Japanese lore, and because they’re beanbags, Yuki has requested that I learn how to juggle them. I shall do my best! I was really touched that Yuki thought of me, and that she hasn’t started to hate me for all the speech practice I’m making her do!

We just had the opening ceremony for the beginning of the school term. I remember standing in the same ceremony last year wondering if I’d be standing in the same place in a year’s time. Happily, it turns out I was. But this year, there is no question: I will not be standing in the same spot this time next year. My JET tenure at Miyoshi will have ended. To know for certain like this is not a sad feeling, but neither is it a happy one. Certainly not! Looking around me today at the kids, I wondered, for maybe the 500th time, how I’ll ever leave here. But I know I will. It’s time to move on, and time to make way for someone new to come and live their dream.

From now on, until next March, the days will only get colder. We’ll have a mad, warm month in September, and then the smells if autumn will fill the air. It’ll be time to get the nabe pot out, turn on the space heaters, and huddle under the kotatsu. The kids will settle into this marathon term, the ALTs will plan Halloween and Christmas parties. I like the term. There’s always something going on.

We also just had an earthquake drill. This part of Japan is expecting a major earthquake right about now. So drills a mandatory at the beginning of each term. Remember fire drills? How they were conducted only very occasionally, but we were never told? Well, they tell the kids. There’s no alarm or siren. The Kyoto-sensei (vice principal) gets in the tannoy and says “Get ready, the earthquake will start soon”. You hear chairs being scraped back in preparation. The special needs teachers bring down our wheelchair-bound student at this point to avoid the rush. The a minute later “Ok, the earthquake has begun. Get out!”. And the kids run downstairs out into the sports ground. I mean, drills are great, but the upcoming Nankai-jishin (as it’s called in Japanese) is hardly going to announce itself before it arrives: “Listen up, mortals! I’m on my way! In about a minute, I’m gonna move the earth so hard, you’ll barely be able to stand, and your school will collapse around you. Better get your asses in gear if you want to live!”. No. It’s just going to happen. And when it does, the school kids are gonna freak cause no-one told them. Sometimes Japan is too efficient for its own damn good.

The Language at my Fingertips!

2005-08-30T05:11:00.000+01:00

Awww yeah! Got me a dictionary! I just bought a second-hand 1971 edition of the Compact Oxford English Dictionary: compact meaning it comes in two multi-thousand page volumes, complete with it's own magnifying glass so you can read the tiny print! There are THAT many words in it. The full version is something like 15 volumes, so I think I'll wait before I buy that. James Murray, I salute you! And it was a snip at Y3000 (15 GBP).

Isn't it funny how just getting outside your own head for a while can totally turn your mood around? I spent Sunday and Monday in the city, getting my haircut, meeting friends that I haven't seen for ages, and getting to know some of the new JETs. I had a really nice time, and am feeling altogether better about the coming year.

On Saturday night, there was a "well done" party for Minoda-ren, my Awa Odori group. The Awa Odori festival has now well and truly finished for the year (what a shame!), so it was time for our crew to finally relax properly and pat ourselves on the back for a job well done. Of course, it was total fun from beginning to end, but it was also hard work, so our celebration was well deserved. Not that the dancing is finished for Minoda-ren this year: far from it, thank goodness! We dance at our local spot in Miyoshi twice a month until well into November, and there'll probably be things in the way of weddings and other assorted performances that we're asked to dance at. Saturday night was a good time: I didn't go too hard, but I had a lot of fun chatting to people and eating some of the best Japanese food in town at Fujimoto's restaurant.

Sunday saw me hang out with Jenna for the first time in about six weeks. We had a lovely time catching up, and we were joined for an okonomiyaki dinner by Dave, Joe and new Higashiiya ALT Nate.

On Monday, I had the chance to get to know Nate much better, as I joined him zooming around the city in his little Suzuki to run errands. He's a top bloke, has great taste in music, is a climber and frisbee player (joy!), and is totally laid back. We're planning on doing some climbing, some frisbee playing and some hiking in the very near future.

Jo just came back from making his assault on Mount Fuji (I still can't say the name without shaking with anger at how that mountain treated me!). It's a great story, it'll make ya laugh, as Jo is a really great writer. Read it here.

I made some kick-ass yaki-soba last night (stir fry noodles and veggies). So good, I'm going to make it again tonight to use up the vegetables. Healthy, cheap and quick. That's what we like!

The Typhoon Cometh. Not.

2005-08-24T04:55:00.000+01:00

Maaan. We were supposed to get a 'super' typhoon this week. And the bugger has decided it doesn't like Shikoku and has veered off north-east. Damn. There's something about typhoons that I really like.

Although I had promised myself that I would simply enjoy Japan, and not worry about What Comes Next until October, it's pretty hard to do. Especially in the frame of mind I'm currently in (read: bored, homesick, getting a bit lonely). So I did some research, and apparently, I should become an archivist. Did some reading into what the job entails, and it sounds like the sort of thing I'd like doing. Connected to the academic world, but not overly.

I'm having daydreams of rainy afternoons in Edinburgh, sitting in the window of Black Medicine, one of my favourite coffee shops, with Pernilla and Jo, and talking about the world. Or going into the Dean Gallery to look at the Henri Cartier-Bresson exhibition that's on now. Or cooking up a storm in the kitchen for my friends. Homesickenss is a funny old thing.

It'll get better. I have AJET. I'm going to have the JLPT. Structure is good, keeps me from going totally mad. Who'd have thought it: me liking structure in my life.....

God's Mountain

2005-08-22T01:45:00.000+01:00

Had a nice quiet weekend just there. On Saturday, Joe and I went to meet some friends for a BBQ beside the picturesque Anabuki River. Unfortunatley, given the good weather, we weren't the only ones who had the idea, and we arrived to find the river and surrounding area swarming with Japanese families out enjoying the last few days of summer. Oh well, laughs were had, so that's all that matters. :)

Joe and I didn't stay long, however, as we were due at the last orientation event for the new ALTs: the Kamiayama party. Kamiyama (literally 'God's Mountain') is a beautiful little town nestled deep in the mountains at the very heart of the prefecture. It has a very internationally-minded, arty community, that each year, has a homestay event for the new JETs (whereby they go and live with one of the community's families for a couple of days). The party is sort of the highlight of the weekend, with live music and dance performances, and a lot of mingling and INTERNATIONALISATION!!! Joe and I, while we didn't do the homestay, decided to go to the party as it's normally a good time.

We drove up a crazy road from Anabuki, via a couple of very high mountain passes, and a few tiny villages. We arrived about an hour after the party started and proceeded to chat to the new ALTs (most of whom I met in Tokyo but didn't really get a chance to get to know), and some of the familiar faces of Kamiyama. I met a girl who, I believe, is deaf and (for want of a better word) dumb. She was very nice, really friendy, and we ended up swapping email addresses. I know a very little of Japanese sign language, so maybe we'll muddle through somehow!

The new JETs seem like very lovely people for the most part. I'm not sure how well I'll get to know them, but I hope I do.

Joe and I drove back to mine, watched 'Team America' (watch it!!) and then went to sleep.

Up early the next day, as I thought I was playing rugby. However, as I neared the city, the heavens opened, and a phone call to Dave confirmed that the planned afternoon of playing touch, followed by a BBQ, had indeed been called off. What a shame! Especially since the city is such a long way away! I did some shopping, then hopped the next train home.

Last hurdle of the weekend: doing battle with a mammoth spider. Don't know how it got in. Shudder. I killed it but wished I hadn't. But this thing was way too big for the whole 'glass and card' routine. The rest of the night, I kept on imagining I could see things scuttle across my floors and walls.

Back at school today. The term starts next Thursday. Looking forward to it. I don't like having my days so unstructured. It makes me very unproductive. Also looking forward to some colder weather. Heat is exhausting!

2005-08-18T03:35:00.000+01:00

Same thing, I wrote this last night, but am posting today:

My Birthday and Awa Odori Part II.

This may be quite a sizeable entry!

So I woke up on my birthday morning to a nice pile of parcels and cards that had arrived through the post from home. Always nice to be thought of!

I headed to the city and arrived by midday. Stepping off the train, you could literally feel the festival atmosphere in the air. It was positively buzzing. It reminded me of Edinburgh at festival time, except without so many daft Europeans wandering around. I spent lunchtime with Kenji in Big Brothers (Kenji's second home). He treated me to lunch, and the folk at BBs gave me a double helping of chocolate brownie for dessert, topped with birthday candles, and a rendition of 'Happy Birthday'.

I headed out to meet Dave quickly, who was holding my birthday present from my Tokyo friend, Linda. Linda is Singaporean, very beautiful, and very electric. She's such a live wire! We spent an afternoon together when I was in Tokyo last month, and ended up guttered by 3pm. I met her when I was editing Team Taught Pizza. She was the person assigned to head up the printing of the book. We have remained in touch despite the book being finished. She's rather poorly just now, so my thoughts are with her. Anyway, she sent me a beautiful bracelet via Dave, which was rather a surprise.

Left Dave to his Awa Odori, and wandered round the city to soak up the atmosphere. I ran into my friend Dan, and we sat by the river and chatted for a while. Then it was time to take my seat for the early evening dance performance, at one of the most famous street venues, Aibahama. Tickets for this go quickly, and I was lucky enough to be offered a spare one from some friends of a friend. The show was great and certainly got me fired up for the start of my own Awa Odori season the next day.

The show ended, and I met up with Dan again, and then our friend Stephi, whose Mum was here to help Stephi get home (as this summer is sadly the end of her JET tenure). I had intended take the final train back west at 10.20pm, but I was having such fun, so I was persuaded to stay out and party the night away. We danced in the street, drank beer, did some weird fairground game involving catching plastic fish, went to Ingrid's briefly, and ate some raamen. It was a really nice way to spend a birthday, even though all my closest friends were otherwise engaged. Or in another part of the world!

I didn't feel so hot waking up for the 5.45am train mind you! I got home with enough time for an hour's kip before I had to start getting ready for my own Awa Odori performances.

And my, what performances!

Admittedly, we got off to a shaky start, with broken shoes, messed up formations, and missed calls. But it went way up from there! We had a good first three runs at our usual haunt, the Highway Oasis, a quick bite of dinner, and then we piled into two coaches to head to Ikeda, the capital of Awa dance in the west of the prefecture. When we got off the bus it was like a minature Tokushima: the same vibe ran through the streets, people looked happy and relaxed, and it felt good to be there. When our turn came to dance, it was impossible to keep the smile off my face (which is good, as you are supposed to smile!). I shouted “Yattusa!” louder than I have ever done, and generally gave it my all. The highlight of the night was Ekimae, a street in Ikeda leading to the train staion. It was packed, and it is a very long distance to dance. But the spectators were great, applauding and cheering, and my smile only got bigger the further up the street I got. I saw some rafting friends, who cheered for me and took my picture. At the end of the street, I had sweat dripping off my nose, and running into my eyes, but I felt so alive and happy. What a great time! We danced through another couple of streets, and then, exhausted but happy, climbed back aboard the coaches for the short drive home.

The following day, we gave four shows at the Oasis, with a mini enkai at night at one of the local Japanese restaurants. Again it was fun, but it was nothing compared to the previous night!

On Tuesday, it was the last day of Awa Odori for the year in Tokushima. After dancing at the Oasis, we headed for Ikeda for one last dance through the streets. By this time, even I was feeling tired, but again, as soon as we stepped off the buses, the atmosphere hit us like a brick wall, and, if it's possible, we gave it even more effort than we had on Sunday night. Dave came out to watch us in action, but of course got pulled into the thick of it, even without a yukata. He loved it! As did we all. We even got filmed for telly. It was another late night, but well worth it. I love Awa Odori!

I was clever enough to take today off work, so I could catch up on some sleep. I did that, did some shopping, some cleaning (though barely touched the tip of the iceberg in that department!), and went to visit my friends Hanna and Kunihiro in Mikamo-cho. They recently got married, and I think maybe they haven't many friends around here (as neither of them are natives to Miyoshi-gun: Hanna's from the south of Tokushima, Kunihiro from Aichi-ken, near Tokyo). They are lovely people, and between their half-baked English, and my quarter-baked Japanese, we get to have some good conversations. We're planning an overnight trip together to neighbouring Kochi-ken next month. Should be a good time!

The pictures are of the dancers at Aibahama, a rather tired-looking me with Dan on my birthday, and of the Minoda-ren dressing room, a hive of activity just before we start dancing for the day.

Back to school now. Back to the grind. Looking forward to the kids coming back to school, the holidays are boring without them!